Hey guys, this is just something i wrote the other night. Its the first thing ive written on my own accord (besides school assignments) in about a year... its just a start and i hope to write more some other time. aaanyway, let me know what you think! ..or don't A disturbance in the snow displays my shame like a long distance call to a girl on a phone bill being analyzed by my parents. The flaw is caused by my footprint and the pattern on the bottom of my shoe is ugly. In this slight flaw amidst a winter wonderland I see myself sitting in class, feeling alone and utterly isolated; a paper cut on the cuticle of the schoolyard. It occurs to me that while I’m not sick, I’m certainly not well so I decide to go home and drown my sorrow in the musings of electric guitars and the screams of womanizing rock stars. I put out my cigarette just a block away from the house I call home and hope that I don’t smell too much of smoke. As I enter the side door of my ambiguous abode I hear the high-pitched squeal of the alarm that prevents intruders and announces my presence. Almost immediately, I break out into a sweat due to the sudden change in temperature and proceed to the basement which nurtures my loneliness. A computer screen illuminates the darkness of my underground layer yet dims my bright eyes. As I move my mouse towards the play button, a silhouette approaches me with caution and asks if I’m hungry. I lie and say I’m not. It looks at me with what I think is a confused longing to understand and then softly turns its back and I hear footsteps slowly disappear up the stairs. Once again I am alone except for the posters which clothe the nakedness of the wall behind them.
Wow. I mean that. That was... completely... refreshing. I had only read the very first sentence before I knew it was going to need my entire attention, and I shut off the stereo. Please please please keep writing. Where in Canada are you from?
Yeah thats pretty good actually. it would be good if you wrote more of it and post it here in this thread
Nice one. Even though threre weren't any midgets I highly enjoyed the way you used your words to create atmosphere. PS Well done for pumping the word 'aaanyway' in your intro. I think that there's only us two in here that know how to pump words up. Or perhaps they're shy. Aaanyway, they should all go down to the word gym and learn how to pump some words. PPS I hope you write some more. Story looks good.
