i think it's pretty well understood that hippies are almost always outgoing and random, which is sweet. the problem is, I'm not...haha wtf mang? I can't bust out of my mind, I feel like I've been molded to just be a quiet peaceful lil chump. I'm sure part of it is that I don't realize my outgoingness or randomness...I guess, I get called weird and a dork a lot (in a playful way), if that counts for anything haha i think it's pretty funny anyway. it seems like I have to be around people I know really well to be as outgoingly random as I want to be. it sucks. People might think I'm shy in social situations - I just don't know what to say...once I get around a few good friends I'm like a different person and all these thoughts are rushing at me. I don't even know if there is anything I can do, but I can keep hoping I guess. thoughts/suggestions?
I think the freaks folks notice are extroverted. The quiet ones can blend in. My sweetie and I can be at teh same show and some people will never notice me, unless they take note of my painting or camera. I'm not a talker in crowded situations & the noisier, the less i talk unless I REALLY want to communicate. So I will put effort in during set breaks, or post show, but most of the time, I'm quiet. I even have a modified sign language to use with my sweetie. It's almost as bad at work. What I do requires some outgoing aspects, but I tend to get someone talking and simply interject or direct here and there (I'm a reporter. I love the research side and the end result of telling the stories. And one-on one, I'm OK.)
I always feel socially retarded. I'm getting better at meeting people and becoming more outgoing. What has worked for me is practice. Just go out on a limb. Pretend you are outgoing. I am definitely still more comfortable amongst friends, but I think that quality has also resulted in me having very very close friends, as opposed to a slew of acquaintances.
I have 5 daughters (16-28) who have all realized that they are not like 85%of the population. They are quiet, introspective and reflective, not prone to chit-chat, and all have been considered "shy" by many of their acquaintances. They grew up in laid back rural environments, and led a very peaceful, quiet, existence throughout their childhoods. They did have some problems "fitting in" because they were not as vocal, or demonstrative as others around them.They were sometimes considered aloof by others. They would be present, but not actively involved , in the dialogue of parties,and silly-fooling around. They could relate personably and were even gregarious in one-on-one, and with more intimate friends. I think that often people who don't grow up in chaotic environments, have a lower threshold at tolerating chaos, and it can be over stimulating, and cause them to shut down. Often times they are just "highly sensitive people", the most interesting people perhaps, who you just need to patiently draw out a little more. All my daughters tell me the guys they meet think they are "different" than most girls, and I know they are, and I am proud of all of them. They are all intelligent, loving people who happen to be on the quieter side. Just like their parents......
I like what you've said here A.B.E., and I think there's a lot of truth in it. I grew up in much the same way your daughters have and am a very quiet, contemplative person. Also what you said about this kind of person having a lower threshold for handling chaos, it being overstimulating and the bit about being highly sensitive... I agree. I moved to the city when I was 15 from the country north of here and now, at 19, I still haven't been able to adjust. The pace and stress of city life are simply overwhelming, which most people can't understand. But you certainly do! May you and your daughters live wonderful, peaceful lives. And don't leave the country!
A.B.E. yeah I agree with most of what you said. I certainly don't regret who I am as I am almost always surrounded by several best friends and always have amazing conversations with just a few people, but I just get bored in large social situations...I guess I just view most of that chit-chat as worthless, like talking about the weather with every other person you encounter. i dunno. it's way different for girls though.....guys approach girls, girls basically never approach guys. or at least where I'm at.
