Holy shit do i need your help like NOW

Okay

So I havent smoked pot since summer really, and that was Hash. Then two weeks ago I started lighting up again and have been doing so pretty frequently for the past two weeks (about 3-4 spliffs a week, then a good joint and/or blunt fri and sat). well my parents like bugged a shit and my father bought a home urine test (dunno wat kind) and he came in and hes like yo i need u to do this for me NOW. well i had just went to the bathroom and told him i cant go so i he told me im giving him urine in the morning.

okay... so, i need to seriously maximize my chances of passing this shit.

im basically drowning myself in water (they say not to do it but ok), i took mega men vitamin supplmenet cause i know it gives ur piss this wicked yellow color and if im drinking as much water as i am it will help. its also gota shit load of vitamins so maybe that will do something?

anyway i dunno wat to do im thinking right now im fucked but if any of u have ANY suggestions (i will go to extremes) please do say so.. and please please please be serious cause im realllly fucked cause i lied my ass off about how i dont smoke pot anymore and that they should trust me lmao god dammit WHY IS POT SEEN AS A BAD THING its beautiful but anyway PLEASE help meeeeee

 

I only have one suggestion, and it's not the best idea, but it works without fail. Could be dangerous though, if you do it wrong.

Get a gallon of water and pour ONE CAP FULL of bleach into the gallon and drink the entire gallon. Then drink some more water without bleach afterwards. My fiance's friend smoked about 7 blunts of dank one day and found out she had a piss test the next day, so she drank one cap full of bleach in a gallon of water and passed the piss test the next day.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

 

Really? Bleach? That'll actually work?

Plus, when you say cap full what do you mean? Like a cap full of a regular 1.5G Evian bottle of water?

 

Get some yellow food coloring and then put just a TINY bit of that in some warm water (make sure it's warm because most home kits check temp to make sure it's yours) mix that up and if you want it to look more real throw in something that'll give it a little foam at the top to look like piss. It worked for me and I hope it works for you man.

 

Nah man. The cap from the jug of bleach. And yes, it works like a charm. Nasty though. Blegh!!!

 

But I guess it doesn't really matter which cap you use. Just something about that size.

 

Personally I wouldn't try the bleech thing, although I've heard of a few others doing it before. If you can just get the yellow coloring and some shampoo...you'll be fine. You do have to make sure the water is warm though, 98 degrees to be exact, but something around there should be ok. Also, if you do this don't let your dad hear the sink water, or he may get suspicious.

 

When you say warm, can I assume you mean like half way through the cold side and the hot side of the faucet? Not too hot, not too cold...

Don't these tests check for any chemical stuff in your pee though? to make sure its pee? Just wondering, ive never had to deal with this shit before.

And thanks a shitload for the replies guys, its fucking kickass.

And yo isnt that like a lot of bleach?

 

o hey sry for double posting but does clorox bleach work?

 

bleach is bleach. The cap is pretty small when you consider it will be in a gallon of water. It's about the same size as a 20oz soda bottle cap, give or take, and it does work. The fact that it is in a gallon of water means that it will be too concentrated to do any damage to your organs, at least if you don't do it often.

It does work though.

 

lmao im harrasin u with this shit but ur helpin a fellow man can i use tap water instead of mineral water? cause i already downed a 1.5 gallon bottle of evian, and now ive got a half-finished 1.5 g bottle but i wanna make sure i use atleast 1.5 g for this shit

 

That's fine man. The water is basically just to dilute the bleach so it doesn't damage your insides......also to help you piss more, which is always a plus.

 

I think Topnotch has the best idea, I've heard of this in places before too, normally drinking bleach is a terrible idea, but it really is your only hope of passing a drug test right now minus having someone else's urine.

Trying to color water to make it look like piss might work, but at the same time all anyone has to do is take a wiff of it to see(or smell rather) that it's not piss, even if you've been drinking a ton of water and you have that almost clear piss, it still smells somewhat like piss normally does.

 

This whole thread has a race against the clock kinda feel, or is that just me? Anyway, good luck, I hope you can beat the test.

 

man I sypmethize for you, im throwing a lot of good vibes your way i really do hope everything turns out fine

 

JESUS CHRIST DON"T POISION YOURSELF.

okay, that being said. The whole bleach thing is fucking retarded (no offense meant to TNS, we all love you, but everyone can be a retard sometimes).

Sooo... how bout instead of drinking the bleach you put some in an eye dropper and drop 3-5 drops into the test. That'll defeat 99% of home drug tests.

Be sure to dispose of the bottle immediately afterwords, you don't want to blind someone.

 

Yeah I have heard that works too, but drinking it works too. Either way. And one capfull of bleach in a gallon of water is do diluted that it won't hurt you.

Thanks for the love, BTW

 

don't drink bleach. gross. I suggest just getting a capfull of liquid bleach into a little container, and pour that into your piss cup when you go in to test. The test will come up negative.

 

k well that might work but then wouldnt it smell like bleach in a way??? i would go with topnotch n drink a cap full of it in a gallon i know a few people who did that.....

 

Niacin usually works. You can get it at Walgreens or someplace like that, just take alot of it and drink lots of water. You will start to itch really bad and get kinda red, but it's worked for several of my friends. There are also complete detox systems that you can take, that can be found at most headshops, but if you don't have much time, it might not work out for you.