So, we went to MO for THREE WEEKS. Alone, just me and the baby. She was an angel on the flights, I was so super amazed. Anyway, my momma and I apparently differ on TONS of parenting decisions, like not spanking a 6 month old. I'll go in order. The one thing I'm really happy about is my mother now advocating gentle birth, home or birth center birth, and midwife care. It's important to have those sane voices in a place like MO. My pregnant cousin isn't going to BF AT ALL. She breastfed her first son for six months and then stopped because it wasn't convenient. She could never leave the house. She's already had a million problems in this pregnancy, including the beginnings of renal failure, she's only 6 months sober from meth (which means nothing), and a myriad of other things. I'd want to do everything to make sure my baby was healthy, but then again, I'm not on meth. Her mother, my other cousin, and I had an argument over vaccinations. She had the audacity to call me a neglectful mother and that I don't know about vaxes enough to make this decision. This is coming from a woman with a 20 year herion addiction, never took care of her own two girls, flunked out of nursing school THREE TIMES, sat on her ass so she wouldn't lose weight and would qualify for a gastric bypass, had the bypass and doesn't do anything the docs tell her to to extend her life. And she's telling ME I'm wrong. GRRRRRR. I advocated for baby slinging everywhere I went. I think I got more pregnant women in WalMart to consider slinging than the manangers could convince to use nothing but a stroller. Moire is so well-behaved in a sling that everyone commented. They asked where we got our sling, how much it cost, etc. And I had info on all different brands, stores and websites, prices. If any area of the country needs an AP intervention, it's my hometown. My step-dad thought I was going overboard when I wouldn't let the baby have turkey, stuffing, or much else on Thanksgiving. She got some vegan pumkpin pie that I made myself, no crust. And some organic peaches. When I told him she was wheat-free, and after her first birthday would be dairy free, he said "I had wheat and dairy, and I'm just fine"...Yeah, you have high everything, and are on lots of meds." Apparently, those things only are connected to his adult eating habits. But whatever. Mom was thinking of me the same way until she saw the improvement in my brother. He's 16 and has these horrific blow ups and afterwards, he's apologetic because he isn't a violent or angry kid. I was in charge of cooking for the three weeks I was there. The first night, we had Pizza Hut. For a week after, I cooked wheat-free and dairy-free. Then we had pancakes for breakfast and biscuits with dinner. He had the most horrific blowout that night. When I asked mom to think back on the last time he'd had that big of a blowup (Pizza Hut night), she was baptised in the wheat-free doctrine. She did her own research, found connections to all of the things she, my gramma, my uncle, myself, and my brother suffer from. They're buying a community breadmaker and investing in bulk GF flours. They're ALL doing the elimination diet....YAY! But then there were the frequent and often little pickings at me (by mom) about my co-sleeping, co-bathing, and the fact that I don't spank her. WTF???? Spank a baby? NO WAY. Yes, I see she's having a "tantrum", but the way I see it, she's just learning emotion and I don't want to supress that. When she's older, knows language and expression of self better, we'll learn constructive ways to deal with her emotions. But for now, I'm not projecting my own anger issues onto my child. Anyway, pictures *professional and home* AND videos are to come. Don't let me flake out. But yeah, just letting you guys know what I dealt with for three weeks.
((((hugs)))) it's hard when we disagree with people about parenting. I know for me, when Jenny was little, it always felt like a personal attack when someone started telling me how wrong I was to do certain things. As my kids have gotten older, it's gotten much easier to ignore them in favor of listening to my heart and let my instincts guide me. I learned that there are certain subjects that I simply will not discuss with certain people. It isn't my place to educate the closed-minded, and I sure don't need to defend myself in doing what I know is best for my kids. But that first trip to see my grandparents, with my mother, when Jenny was 9 months old, that was really rough on me. I went home and cried for days afterwards. Later, I called and talked to my grandfather about how horrible Mom and Gramma made me feel. He sympathised, apologized and said to me that now I'm the mom and I get to make the decisions and that they were wrong to undermine my parenting that way. He said to me, "we all gotta kill our own snakes"
I hear ya loud and clear... in the words of the ever wise Fresh Prince, "Parents just don't understand".
