My husband is 47. He has a history of health problems and this Tuesday had a heart attack. He needs heart surgery but is not a candidate because he is considered a high risk. He has had health crises before, but this is by far the worst. I have been unable to deal with the thought of him dying. Every time he has a health emergency I become really unhinged. I can't 'just get over it' after the emergency has passed. I understand that I have no control over the outcome, but am afraid that when something happens to him, I will be gone as well. I don't have a large support system, and have found that in the past I am unable to be comforted when something has happened to him.This has been a very, very bad year for me in every area of my life and I am afraid
accept what is waiting for you around, accept that death. Find a place inside your sorrow and build a castle.
i dunno about buildin no shit...but dont b afraid, life is so uncertain, u never know wats coming, and its times like this wen were tested, wen everything is moving so damn fast, u just gotta kinda lay back and deal with each specific thing as it comes...its the slow times that get me, too much time to sit around and think about my situation and how i could go for a change...ure life may b fucking turned upside down, everything ure used to, gone, but uve been there before, there was a time wen u didnt even know ure husband, but u still have all the things u had back then, u can still deal with life, thats one thing all of us humans can do, deal with shit
so ... your husband is your bound mate ... and you fear the loneliness ... perhaps it's time to focus on the good of the situation ... make a pact with him to wait until you depart this part of life and enter into the light together ... and even though emptiness is obvious with loss - you need to feel the joy of knowing that he was that shining glow that completed your forever ... Here is a suggestion: take a white linen handkerchief folded in quarters - do a tack stitch on each corner ... put his favorite lipstick on and kiss one another with the handkerchief between both sets of lips ... Always hold that treasure for those times when you need to feel the closeness in your heart ... Good Luck and ALWAYS look towards nature when you need to pray ... God will always answer prayer with a sign from His creation - you'll know it when you see it ...
