Hey everyone. I just thought I'd see what advice people can give me on my poetry. I just don't feel they're very good at the moment. Here are two I wrote recently. Foreign Creation Green and bumpy and thick-skinned. Thrown in a small box at the back of the shop, near the dead fish and the blackening chillis. Foreign and out of place. It waits and it waits, for some show of interest, of love. Strangers pass with only gasps. Marvelling at it's deformitites and grasping at it before casting it back, among its own kind. Its own unfeeling kind. No one wants it! This ugly, bitter and stupid creation. A mistake! It waits, but only I come to watch every day (a safe distance away). It shrivels and dies as it lived, unloved. The little mirror is gone. But its image lives on. Compounds. Shoot the mad dog. Kill it with your little white gun. You know, the one you keep in the brown case with the child proof lock. Then turn to your precious baby and shoot it. Twice or thrice to be sure. That should do it. Don't worry, the gun solves all. It will be there when you're time comes. Don't fight it, the mad dog will attack! So shoot yourself if you want. It saves time. Don't try to feel anything. the little gun solves all, and destroys all you vessels of nothing. So...thanks for reading! Lots of peace and love to everyone.
Funny how anyone who has any talent with po-tree always thinks what they write is ungood... In other words, I enjoyed them immensely.
hmm, yes, i agree with you coney-- personally i liked the first one better than the second, but that's not what u asked. you want advice, only you can give yourself advice and keep it with you. so this is how i judge my poems; i tthink about what the secret meaning is. then after i figure that out i read it over (aloud) and then when something sounds wrong, i fix it. good job tho, i like your poems
Okey guys, I tell you what...I will reply to a lot of your new poems and will award 1 to 5 stars depending on the poem itself. I will be fair in judgement and hope that anyone else who feels that more poetry around here deserves some recognition/criticism then feel free
