im incapable of love (am i a robot?)

i cannot show affection for humans...it feels wrong to do it (hugs, kisses, ect)
i feel that i cannot care anymore for human beings, i get an overwhelming feeling like i feel sick if im forced to care and comfort someone...wtf is wrong with me?

am i evil? am i a sociopath?

 

everyone deserves to be talked to.

so that means you never liked a girl, or never liked your family? that everytime a girl hugs you it evokes no feeling, and every time you say you love your parent you're really liying?

respond and i'll tell you where i'm going

 

you are not evil or a sociopath, you are young & havent met the right person yet.

i think im incapable of loving someone too. well, there are different kinds of love. i got love for a lot of people but not in the romantic sense. i am pretty sure i am incapable of that.

 

Nobody is incapable of love. Everyone loves someone and everyone is loved by someone, whether it be romantic or otherwise.

 

be before you feel
by being loving you learn what love is and how to feel it

 

Before you can love you got to love your self. Its what I firmly believe in. Not everyone in this whole wide world is an arrogant piece of shit believe me. There are many people in this world who care how it turns, how people feel, and who have hearts that arent cold.

Please dont feel that every human that walks this earth is bad, because they are not. Sure there is a lot of shit going on in the world, but remember that we are only showed the bad things. We are sold all these things, propaganda, war, but we eat it up. I actually have come to find out.. (word of mouth) that in Iraq that not the whole thing is dealing with war, only the part you see on tv. And ps. if this information is correct the news channels are owned by the use government (this being the us news) and they control what airs and what doesnt.

Sometimes we have this stigma attached to the way we view people, like America some people in this world absolutely hate America because of the government and this is attached to its people.. Its stupid I know, but we (or some) attach the government with the people and some yah may support the decisions and some dont... I dont know if this is all making sense or that if this is even what you mean when you say you hate humans.

I hope I made sense and dont sound like a Nineveh child..

 

i used to get crushes on girls then i was hurt, now im just attracted to their looks, no emotion except lust...and i dont really have a "feeling" for my family..but i would protect them and help them but theres no feeling. it might be from my ecstasy binge (i dont do it anymore,i started feeling this way after one roll i had) i used to care and love everyone...now its like the opposite. recently i was forced to comfort my brother bc he was crying bc our grandma died..and i feel like having to hug him was a forced action i only did it because im expected to do it...i have feelings of caring for my dogs tho, i feel i would fight and die for them, and also for my best friend...but thats as far as it goes...this also started around the same time i started taking anabolic steriods and stopped taking recreational drugs entirely (could be one of those factors)

 

why are u taking steroids?
look up the side effects of the ones u take and see if anything matches how u feel
thats a big possibility

 

well im bulking up and getting buff the fast and easier way (and its working REALLY well)

im taking dbol, its mostly testosterone so the side effects are aggression, hornieness, fat depletion, and thats about it...

i believe my evil ness started the last time i rolled with my friends but i diddnt roll on the pill for some reason and everyone else was and were trying to be lovie dovie with me while i was sober and i felt uncomfortable

 

ypung nasty i just read up on dbol..and u should to
its useless shit you'll lose everything un gain very quickly soon as u stop taking it
steroids are stupid
id steer clear of steroids..and ex awhile
x can mess ya up pretty good too, although this doesnt sound like a typical x overuse effect but theyre not always typical either
id read up on that dbol alot more too, since what i read is it isnt exactly mostly testosteromne like u think but actualy stimulates estrogen production as well and screwin with your body chemistry can effect ya emotionaly as well

 

im already to my last pill, i take the last one tomarrow, and im starting up a deca cycle immediatly, the dbol gains stay with me if i take a steroid with properties like deca has, then after the deca cycle (like a month or so) im gonna lift w out roids and i have this stuff ready to take that re-cyncs my testosterone\estrogen lvls back to normal

then after im steering clear of all drugs except weed and booze, no more hard shit for me

 

givin upthe hard drugs is good.. just dont think ya need to be messin woith steroids
besides that will just leave ya feelin even more alienated cause altho the myth of the muscle bound guy being al popular and all sells millions in products the opposite generaly is true and the majority odf people write off the muscle bound freaks as being shallow and vain and barely capable of monosylablistic conversations
wether thats true or not

 

im not at all going to become HUGE, im going for a toned defined look, not massive but definantly big and noticable, mostly toned tho

i doubt i could become alienated because of that, im too much of a joking around type guy, but that still doesnt change that i cant love anyone, maybe i need to find the right woman to teach me what love is (cheesy alert? lol)

 

the hearts a muscle that needs excercize too. spend more time on developing relationships with the people around you and as you share good times and bad ..and your there for eachother love just happens
but if you dont excercize the heart by being loving.. wether thays being there for someone or performing loving service for someone or even helping a random stranger out of kindness each act of being loving excercizes a weakkened heart mustle and gives u the strength to just love

 

drugs are kak!! They will numb your feelings!!

 

another problem with being close is if i feel that im becoming really close to someone (even just a friend) i feel i gotta step back (no reasoning behind this just emotion\feeling)

 

One reason for this could be a huge trauma in your young life that damaged your ability to trust youngnasty - does that ring any bells?

 

well i was picked on by "close friends" in middle school, and my dad left to live with his other kids instead of me nothing really tramatic

 

I dunno youngnasty, that could be enough to want to shut off from contact. this is something you need to look at and explore... drugs are NOT the answer!

 

i learned that the hard way...i experimented with pot, then shrooms, then excasty then coke..im staying FAR away from hard drugs from now on, except maybe the ocassional smoke, or drink

idk how to reopen to people tho...i def dont wanna see a psychologist about this...