Attracting the beautiful girls

I would say stop focusing on the anger, its roots are always in fear anyway.
Try to work out what scares you. Is it being alone? Being rejected? Being vulnerable?

Vulnerability is a beautiful thing my friend. It means you are being truly human!
Aspergers is going to affect your perception of things but you are very right... with intention and work you can overcome the fears which seem to be a factor in your problems.

And so many people have problems at college... All those people that you think are cool and got it together are more lost than you! You know you are suffering, they are so blind to themselves they believe the role they are playing is real... At least you know it is an act, most people spend there whole lives believing the lies.

College is the worst environment... it is social role playing at its extreme. I don't mean to sound negative but I highly doubt anyone in college is mature or insightful enough to make a true connection with you.

Any advise? Patience! I know it sucks but it took me three years out of high-school before I met anyone that I could really connect with... I spent my school nights crying too because I felt so alone. But it was worth the wait!

Keep working on yourself, dont be scared of being vulnerable. It is the greatest strength to be afraid yet persist.

Peace to you Chris...

 

I read about 3 pages of this thread and don't have immediate time to read the rest of it. I apologize if this has been mentioned. Here is a little tale for you. I have a friend that loves hot women (hard for us guys to imagine eh) but doesn't always date hot women. In between women he purposely finds a nice overweight girl and parades her around and treats her like a queen. He only uses her until another hot girl comes along. I admit, he does not due this out of the kindness of his heart. The point of this is that women can recognize a man who treats a woman well. That is really all any woman wants, is a man that will treat her nice and make her happy. The reason this works for my friend is that when he dates the overweight woman, the hot woman see this and recognize that he is a confident man (that he doesn't need a model to parade around), that he knows how to treat a woman, and that he does not judge (unfortunately is not the case). The hot women see this and are attracted to these qualities, not what he is wearing or how much money he has. The fault in my friends plan however is that he is a womanizer, and it doesn't take them long to figure him out.

What I am trying to get across to you is that your attitude projects onto women. You should not worry about who you are dating so much. Be a little more open minded and find someone you get along with. This person doesn't have to be perfect or drop dead gorgeous, and nothing says that you have to be sexually attracted to them. Once you start casually dating and open your mind up a little, I guarantee you opportunites will increase. You never know, you may end up falling for somebody you never would expect. As Hippychickmomma said, once you get to know someones soul, that is when you will see real beauty.

PS, don't use my story as a way to try and get hot women. You cannot cheat the system.

 

its all proxsimity and similarity.

 

remember.....in a sense, nice guys finish last, take it from me. That was my old approach to girls. But there is a point where you can be overly nice, then you are just a wussy boy I think. Girls like to see some confidence masculine tendencies.
Im not saying to be a jerk, though some girls do go for that, but probably not the types you'd find here on the forums but nevertheless. When you do start to meet different girls, you will find that the ones you dig the most are the ones that are into your true self. That is at the heart of the greatest connections Ive made with other girls.
Relationships are tough, and casual sex is typically only instantly gratifying and even that is fleeting, so tread lightly and dont break hearts like I have, its probably good for your karma

 

Yeah, I'd definitely befriend someone like you. I go out of my way to talk to loners, geeks, and visible minorities when I'm on campus - and I mostly stick to people in my classes, or people who I see are friends with the people in my classes.

I feel the most alone when I am in a crowd. I understand that feeling one gets, when there are hundreds of people around you buzzing about and somehow you have the overwhelming feeling of disconnection to each and every one of them.

Chris, it gets better. Trust me.

I would suggest asking a couple people in your class to study at school before or after class. I don't know if there are a lot of girls in your classes, but give it a chance and reach out to someone who is sitting alone.

Why not say "Are you busy?"

And a wink from a stranger is sweet and always welcome. Try not to be afraid of what other people are thinking and do whatever you feel comfortable in order to open up to people.

You can ask a girl if you can share her table at the caf - and make small talk. (I know small talk seems kind of shallow and lacks depth) But a comfortable silence in the presence of another person can be very warm and calming.

Don't give up, and try not to let your frustration get to you or allow you to lash out. Take the time to do something that really makes you feel good and reward yourself whenever you reach out to someone new.

Buy yourself candy after you've taken it upon yourself to speak with a stranger at school, even if it's light and friendly conversation.

It gets better with time - and sometimes you have to sort through a hay stack to find that needle.:H

 

.

 

Sounds like you need to figure out who you are and not model yourself after people. Girls can see right through that.

I wouldn't be friends with you if you were all tense and mean and angry and fired up...

Of course, you'd think I was "big" so, you know...whatever.

 

.

 

Does anybody else think English highschools/colleges seem completely fucked up?

 

Yeah, but WHO are you? YOu're you...but what are you?

I was bullied at school and at the university I go to. You think I care? Nope. Because I know who I am...

LOL you think I care if someone on the internet likes me or not? Give me a break. I don't even care if people in real life like me or not...because I like me...and that's all that matters.

 

.

 

Why? Because you don't know the answer?

 

chris,

you have posted so many threads similar to this! Maybe you are looking for a new response, but all the responses are the same because they are responses to the same exact problems you have been experiencing throughout your time spent at hipforums...you have failed to show any evidence of growth in who you are! So how can we help you? why do you even seek help at this point? You can't seek help than play the defense the whole entire time!

Chris, I can not stress this enough, you keep getting the same answer over time...the burden is on you to change..everyone else realizes what the problem is.

 

.

 

Tell us who you really are, Chris, and maybe we can give you better advice. All I see is someone who has no friends because he's ticked off all the time. I'm sorry, but no one is going to want to be your friend if you're serious ALL OF THE TIME. I laugh a lot and I'm one of those happy-go-lucky people...and I believe I'm pretty intelligent, so just because some of us are fun people who laugh and smile, doesn't make us a bunch of idiots.

Life is about having fun because, you know what? You only live this life once. What's the point of being all serious all the time? You could die tomorrow and being serious means not taking risks, not putting yourself out there, and not living life to the fullest.

So call me dumb because I'm happy and laid-back, but at least I'll have lived a fuller, more fun life.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

people don't usually just go up to random people and start conversations, either. drinking/smoking would be the exception.

talk to people next to you in class, in clubs/sports teams, etc where it is more natural.

 

-first of all, you sound like a total prick
-second, be kind to all people, doesnt matter if their fat, skinny, ugly or beautiful. because if the "beautiful" girl you seek sees you being nice to the ugly duckling, shell think your kind and mabe take a liking to you
-like they said, smile. if you smile a little all the time, the ladies will see that you are confident. and from my experiences, girls like confidence. but not too much.
-dont try to be better than the other guy, it doesnt help you one bit
-be more social. buy them drinks, compliment them, ask them for help in class, just strike up a conversation in one way or another
-finally, keep your chin up, you might find a keeper