Teen internet monitoring.. need advice

well I havent been spying on her.. but I was thinking about it. And what about the lying rocketqueen? You think no punishment for lying? you would let it go?

I'm trying to do my best here.. otherwise i wouldnt be here asking for all of your help. Thanks so much!

Peace

 

I don't think it was fair to punish her for that one- since you obtained the fact that she lied in an unfair way since you shouldnt be looking at her email or w.e in my opinion. Plus that lie wasn't awful, I understand you were mad since she had been on punishment but you should of let it go.

If she lies about something big like (example: saying shes at a friends house when she really is up to something else) then go ahead and punish. But my point was that punishing her and spying on her will not get her to talk to you.

 

That makes sense.... I see what you are saying.

 

You're far too tolerant for these boards

 

You should start by treating her the way you want her to treat you. Show her respect and common courtesy. Let go of the control issues. Parenting is not about being in control of our children, it's about showing them the way. The most effective way of teaching anything to anyone is by example. Be the kind of person you want her to be. Do you want her to be mistrustful and dishonest? Then why are you treating her that way? Nobody wins a power struggle. Nobody. There is a solution, but it takes a lot more work to reach an understanding than it does to boss someone around and expect obedience.

 

I guess it all depends come my mom and I have a great relationship, she is my best friend. I no that I can talk to her about everything. even thought it my hurt to tell her. I guess you have to let her no that you are on her side. Maybe take her out to her favorite place to eat or something. Just the two of you and talk to her about it. Tell her that you love her and and you want to be good friend and want her to be able to come to her no matter what happens.

 

Well I would probably do it. I don't have teenagers yet but I do beleive it is your job as a parent to know what she is up to. I would punish for the lying as well. I would monitor what she is doing without her knowledge and I would not let her know unless you needed to step in to stop a bad situation from happening. Let the little stuff go. She will probably resent you through the teenage years but hey all of us oldies know it goes away in adulthood.

 

hey i didnt read eveyones post so if its been said then never mind. But it said how your daughters myspace bulletins are like porno site and stuff, and she says it happens atomatically. I can say that true my friends does that all the time always post a porno site or like some stupid site to some were.

But other than that i really dont have any advice...sorry good luck

 

Apparently there have been issues with people getting their myspace accounts hacked into a ton lately too.

 

in retrospect i can see concern, for her life, if perhaps she was stupid enouph to meet a myspace predator, but as i do not have a child i can't question internet monitoring

except from my own experiance, as my internet was never monitored, but mostly becasue the internet was basiclly not a big part of my life untill i was old enouph to make my own decisions.

You should be able to mantain, and open truthfull relationship with your daughter, or you will lose her,

it will be become a battle between you and her and anger towards one another will build. She needs to know why you do things, and that she can trust you and count on you. She shouldn't be sneaking behind your back, and not trying to be judging but why would you let her stay at a freinds house if she was in trouble, (internet still not allowed)? the internet monitor seems like it will seed distrust, you catch her, she learns she can't trust her, you see she is safe, and later she finds out and losses trust. It comes down to this is she mature enouph to be responsible for herself, and it very likely at this point that she isn't, but one day she wil, and it should be instilled personal responsiblity, a highschool student should be capable to orginize their life,(balance work and pleasure) with the guidance of their parents; and if incapable be capable to come to you for help

sry if i'm off topic

 

I think you need to ligten up a bit on her, the fact is for 99.6% of teenagers, the internet is totaly safe, but if you try to contain your daughter like that, she's just going to want to rebel more, then you will have to worry about her going to freaky web sites, or trying to hook up with people on myspace.

Also, teenagers will lie to their parents, fact of life.

 

Myspace is evil and should be shut down. It's a playground for pediophiles who prey on young girls and boys. Over half the people on there are older people looking to take advantage of young kids. It's a breeding ground for evil.

 

Pfft. any stats supporting that?

 

I'm sure there are if you want to look it up. Cops all over the country are impersonating kids and reeling in pervs by the dozens.

 

Well i haven't met anyone like that.. but then again i don't have pictures with my tits out.

 

You're from Warwickshire? I've been thinking about going to visit Warwick Castle.

 

*checks shirleys gallery*

Damnit

 

Yeah, we should both go there and meet up!

 

I'm going to wait till summer though. I always wanted to see the castle as I am told some ancestors lived there.