Molly The Hippy vs. Fountains of Nay,... Mano a Mano, No Holds Barred

you are right, we are responsible, but not guilty or something to be ashamed of... guilt and shame cripples the human spirit,... things happen for the reasons they do and we wake up everyday and let the spirit of love flow through and soon in this process of the world becoming as one as an embodiment of the love we are all born out of, it will be one of joy and not so much the sadness we see about us

but yes, we are all responsible so let's be clear of what we want the world to be so it may become that

in the beginning, we were made by god, now in our maturity, we are making god

where did i say i worhship the christian god... god is beyond our runy religions... although religions have as remnants, some eloquent words

 

I did a little cleaning before I put these words on paper
Found some dust and decided I didn't need it anymore

Found some things I didn't use anymore…

maybe someone else could
Found some pain and I wanted to feel it a whole lot more
Not to feel pain as if to say
Pain! Pain! Pain!
I am martyr
I am artist
No! No! No!
Pain as in feeling and really feeling it deep

without all the labels and the thoughts
Pain as in what is it all about?
Pain of love and breaking through confinement

Going beyond the cushy

Vulnerable to seen and unseen

Venturing into the darkness

and all maps will come up short in guidance

Jumping off the cliff

falling falling falling



I know why we find it hard to love
We are not artists and I don't mean trying to draw pictures
and painting them or stringing together a few abstract thoughts and calling them a poem

The artist as in vulnerable to each other

the elements

the aroma of the earth

the swirling of heavenly bodies

our naked wildfire passion

and bleeding our soul into the mixture

with expectation and wonder

giving birth to creation

That is artist but that is only the beginning






What had I done? Would I ever experience life beyond the walls of confinement to mental hospitals? And I had so much fun getting there and I knew I was onto something… something so beautiful, it challenged one to let go of thoughts of security… something so real, it ridiculed the act of even thinking about it. And I knew with worldly definitions, medical definitions and my own, I was crazy and I knew in my craziness, somehow things were never so clear. I knew my disease was gift and somehow these doctors, these medical theories and everybody had it all wrong. What some call the disease is the baby and this baby was not going to be thrown out with the bath water, the lithium and the drugs I don't even know the names for and care even less to find out but as I could be weighed down and overcome by the depth of feeling, the bottomless depth of feeling is the only way to freedom. There is no other,there is no other,there is no other way to feel love, to share without the boundaries of thought



They diagnosed me as being manic depressive psychotic schizophrenic
What does that mean?
It means you have a bi-polar of chemical imbalances
What does that mean?
It means you experience extreme levels of feelings
Well, that sounds like a good thing to me, to experience so much feeling… I mean, isn't that kinda what its all about? I want to feel it all. I don't want your medication. I can't even see straight with this shit you’re giving me

Either you take your medication or we put you in a straight jacket and force it down your throat
Oh, sorry about that, I was just curious about the stuff. Sounds like a good thing to me, this medication. Think I will be taking it. By the way, I think I am feeling better already with the medication I have been given. Any chance I can put my clothes on and walk out these doors? They should be dry by now
You have been legally committed to this psychiatric institution for a period of 21 days of psychiatric evaluation after which I can release you or not release you and you can then take your case before a judge
with legal counsel if you are so desiring to be released

And then it had sunk in… I had made it to the big time
Committed to BellevueMental Hospital and maybe I was manic depressive and all that stuff and I was scared






Party time Bellevue, grand ballroom of illusion's dances
Open the spigot, let the water run
Let the water run unobstructed
I will die with a smile on my face

Smile as rich and as wide as when

I reached the end to find the beginning

Anna, a patient patient walked Bellevue's halls
with her i.v. bag on rollers and a bag of cookies in hand
asking in the most innocent and sincere voice
as if she is saying it for the very first time
"Would you like a cookie?"
repeated time and time again

as if an echo up and down the halls
Anna gave the nicest cookies but she gives something more as well…something too big to see but I felt it


I love this land. I had fun with Lomax. Lomax was a big big guy, an African American. I'm African American too. My ancestors left Africa about 100,000 years ago, his in the last 300. We bunked together in the same room. One day he came walking across the room with a stern look on his face. I stood there wondering what's up? He gave me a big hug and smiled. I felt sad to be with him. He was too beautiful for this world. His mother came to visit him. It was a pure and natural love. I wanted to tell her,
"You did too good of a job in raising Lomax"


Someday soon I hope this world will be ready for Lomax
and the Queen of Cookies, Anna


Hector recited poetry to photos of women pictured in magazines
He asked me, "Isn't she beautiful?"
He asked me, "Isn't she beautiful?"
many times and I finally got it
"She is beautiful"

Hector was taken away later that day to some other place
He certainly did not go back to the world
He too was too beautiful for this world
and his mother was too good of a mother
It slips away now and then
but it is always there
She is beautiful
She is, isn't she?
Isn't she beautiful?
Rick was the first person to tell me I wasn't crazy. It gave me some relief but now I’m not so sure if that's what I want to be. Rick could leave whenever he wanted. He was there just to cool down



Lots of people coming and going and about the only thing that stayed the same is everyday I’d wake up and find a squirrel nest up my nose.
The world seemed to be changing too. The Berlin Wall fell and Nelson Mandela was walking free. We saw that on TV.TV is big in mental hospitals.

Mother’s nipple giving milk to see
Can I tell you how special I felt seeing the Berlin Wall come down on TV? Can I tell you the wonder I felt seeing Nelson Mandela walking
down the street on TV?
I cannot tell you

Lots of people coming and going I was wanting to get going too. 21 days came and Doc seemed to think I needed more time. I kinda played the sincere patient. Yah doc, whatever you think but I don't think he believed me. I went along with it until 24 days and not knowing or feeling comfortable at the whims of the medical establishment letting me free, I went to doc and I told him I wanted out and I am going to court. I will not fight you he said but I need a couple of days to get your dosages down.

I knew what he was talking about.



I've been locked up in prisons but nothing felt like walking free this day. Its one thing to be locked up for something you did or believed in
and its quite another to be locked up not knowing what was

up or down



All for swimming in the polluted Hudson River

Walking away after the swim, police cars pulled up, flashing lights
and officers jumping out of cars
What were you doing?
Oh, I just went for a swim with
Miss Liberty out there in the Hudson River
Its against the law to swim in the Hudson
Why's that?
Its polluted
Why don't you arrest the people who polluted it?
The police officer never answered that question but he did put me in handcuffs and wrote some stuff in the police report. He wrote I was trying to swim up the **** of the Statue of Liberty.

I felt really uncool about it then as I never said those words but now I like it. Doesn’t birth take place from the vaginal canal?
Wow! I must be the ultimate citizen
Goddess Liberty is my mom
I was born that day as the son of Goddess Liberty but that is a truth
one must live every moment. And the police man didn't arrest me to the city jail. I was arrested to BellevuePsychiatric Hospital

And it wasn’t only about breaking the law against swimming in the polluted Hudson River for which I was incarcerated without trial or public hearing

It was the law against swimming in life

I shattered that law and chewed it up and spit it out

I composted it

and used the soil to fertilize flowers for the bright new day

And its not about me even though I got chewed up and spit out
It’s about us

And we have our ways and our walks
and I have mine

I can remember standing outside Tower Records with a friend on Broadway

Did you ever wonder why all the streets and avenues
in Manhattan are square except for Broadway
which meanders diagonally?
That is because Broadway is an old Native American trail

And I told her about dreams I had

Things were never so clear

Things were never so pure and the mud never so thick

not about what was seen

not about what was heard, about what was felt



Manic depression does not cheapen, it is the baby



Other times drifting through…

rain, snow and blood

people hungry, real hungry

people cold, real cold

Death

Follow the tears

Follow the pain and you will know



A time citizens of the world

look to for strength and inspiration



People valuing ideas and freedom with their life



The rebirth of democracy in the west

if we forget about Native Americans

they knew about “We the People”

we got it from them



The time was the Continental Armies encampment at Valley Forge and I said to my friend, I was there, wooden teeth and all and I know my name and who I was



I know

I was your mother



I wonder why we place so much value on war?

Maybe if we were a little more cool headed back then, maybe we wouldn’t have had to have fought that war?

You know, Gandhi did it,

independence without war



But let’s not get thinking about it

This is about feeling


And I know this isn't about only me
Its about a planet load of all beings
and its not about egos

Its about eagles flying



Its about sorting and discovering the magic we are

And soul fusion







And talk about the wonder

and look at the headlines of newspapers



We’re always getting readier and readier for war

and these wars have no virtue or honor outside of the brave men and women who fight them, men and women swindled and lied to by politicians



I participated in lots of war demonstrations

going on around the Panama War Invasion

I felt embarrassed for what my country had done

Testing our star wars technology on Panama

to see how well it worked

all in the guise of Manuel Noriega being a drug pusher

You’re damn right he’s a drug pusher, thank you CIA



But we just didn’t go after Noriega

We killed hundreds of civilians in our attack on the Presidential Palace with our stealth bombers



Don’t you feel embarrassed with all the potential for enlightenment and abundance our nation has and it is so much directed towards corporate hegemony, military industrial killing and foreign government and media manipulation?



But don’t blame it on the government



“We the People”



Feel it deeply

This isn’t about thinking,

this is about feeling






Oh how we hat that word pain.

Take this, do that
Believe anything to get rid of pain
Anything to get rid of feeling

Nobody is going to take my pain away



And after it was all said and done

The bombs dropped and the cheering abated

I just wanted to be with people

“We the People”

 

How do you feel about anything
and everything?

I was on the subway and I said how I felt
I felt embarrassed

I felt embarrassed to be wearing clothes

The country I lived in of clothes wearing people felt it had the right to kick, shit upon, bomb and shoot at whoever they fuckin’ pleased to make a few bucks

But we never hear it in those words

We hear some mighty fine erudite blood soaked words on tv



Yahoo! I’m crazy and damn fuckin’ proud of it

That is how I feel now but not as I spoke then

I didn’t know I was crazy



I spoke as a person

I said very simply I was embarrassed to be wearing clothes

We put these civilized clothes on

We go to the office or wherever and kill with our words and pens more than any bomb ever could

I started to take my clothes off

With a pile of clothes at my feet, a gentleman came to me and said, “You, not everyone, you don’t have to be embarrassed to be wearing clothes”

I thanked him




a manic episode around a war

I thought was in places

against people our president

couldn’t even correctly pronounce the names of



There was lots of new names Americans

were trying to learn to pronounce



Heard for the first time

Learning from those tv faces

Who our enemies were

and why we should be prepared to fight and to die



There’s so much to question

in the world we made

but all misery leads home

to hearts in turmoil



The toxins in our air and rivers
but an echo of toxic thoughts
flowing in our veins
around our brains
and breathed out and spoken
on and on



War is special though

War is the complete package

War is the total eruption all depravations


That's when the dog
raises his leg the highest
growls the loudest
and bites the hardest
and it becomes such a splendid media event
And we America love it

We sit back drinking our beer watching those missiles

Cruise along with those cameras on the tips

exploding across our tv screen

Hundreds of people have been killed, mutilated and burned

Touchdown! Get me another beer



It becomes very easy to push them buttons

And sit and watch it on tv



And for all the shadows on the tv faces,

the darkest ones I have found in me



I was guilty along with everyone else

if that is what I chose to find

But that's not important

What's important?

Wake up
and find your innocence

Wake up
and love

Innocence is a choice
not a verdict

innocence is not about cleaning one's hands of guilt

innocence is about total innocence is not about cleaning one's hands of guilt

Innocence is about total feeling

Innocence is about taking the power, the love and the responsibility to heal and renew your life, your sister’s and brother's lives, the world… everything


Let the love flow unobstructed

Don't be afraid to be too beautiful



And my mom, she too was too good of a mother

 

WTF

 

monkeys and typewriters spring to mind

 

think i need a holiday .

 

Most disappointing.

 

damn nay
what did you do?
ya know i love ya nay..but i think ya pushed molly over the edge..

gotta spank ya for that 1

as for the nay vs molly no holds barred
its not a fair fight when ya arent even in the same ring..

 

I Think this Should be Taken to pm...

Then They will Find themselves to be Best Buddies at a Later Date...

 

LMAO ... i'd have to agree with you on that one dapablo.


I don't think Nay has to worry much about whether or not this is a fair fight. In my opinion she's the more sensible of the two to begin with. And, I don't think Nay would go around starting up threads to just right out start shit with anyone. Least that's not the impression I get.

 

i'd love to see em wrestle for the championship round
i'd still put my $ on nay to win

 

I think anything Molly posts should be taken with a cup or two of salt ... he means well, just sit back and enjoy the mad creativity

The title of the thread is a bit confrontational but I'm sure Nay will understand it's not to be taken seriously.

 

By all means, have your fun, but please keep it civil guys. Any personal attacks and insults, if you must resort to them, should be kept private....

 

didder

 

innocence is all there is

when we let go of all of our programs
and conditionings of what we were told
or thought life is
and we let go of all concepts
of love and of hate
and when there is nothing left
but who we are as in
only feeling and awareness,

there we will find our innocence
as the child,
earnestly and wondrously
exploring and discovering life
without fear

let go of the concept of who God is
for then you might find
God is not a thing and the "other"
but God is everything
and a part of you

boldly and yet softly,
look upon life with those childlike eyes,
free of images and mental constructs,
judgments and divisions

feeling with an awareness
as deep as the deepest ocean

 

Thats nicer and much more readable.

 

some territory is in dispute

the males seemed genuinely concerned

in the commotion, the land becomes vacant and charred

high above, clouds meander in their pointless ways

i wonder, when will we stop fighting over mother earth?

 

Errrrm... how very surreal :spam:





:leaving:

 

no mas... i concede defeat...