I wrote this for my fiance. Any good?

She loves butterflies and I thought she would like this. What do you think?​

​

Butterflies​

They bring color​

And Substance​

To a life​

With no hope​

Everything seems better​

When butterflies are afloat​

Where there was once pain​

Joy overflows​

They are so beautiful​

But they could never know​

Never aware​

Of the joy they bring​

In dark times​

They brighten everything​

Life seems perfect​

Whenever they're near​

When I hold you in my arms​

Everything is so clear​

I just take one glance​

Into your beautiful eyes​

I hope you realize​

That YOU are my butterfly.​

I love you,​

Brian​

​

I know, it's pretty lame compared to others on the forums, but it gets the point across.​

 

That's a very pretty poem. I like it a lot and would be flattered if my boyfriend wrote me that.

Peace and love

 

I would be flattered if my husband wrote ANYTHING...that gets an A for effort and a big ol' AWWWWWW...it was very pretty. And I love butterflies; they remind me of my grandmother. Keep writing those for your fiance' and she'll want to run off to Vegas.

 

Your fiancée is one lucky, lucky lady, my friend. I bet she'll love it!

 

it's good man.


she'll probably love it =]

 

as poetry goes b+ as romance goes a solid A

yea she'll dig it

 

Thanks for the responses everyone. She liked it.

I just wish I could do more for her, as we haven't seen each other in 2 weeks because she is in North Carolina attending Job Corps. There is no telling when I will be able to hold her again I haven't even been able to talk to her for two weeks because the phones on campus are fucked up, so we have been communicating solely through email. I hate this shit. I feel incomplete somehow......like a whole chunk of me is in North Carolina.

 

well she has to love it...it's simply beautiful and she is a lucky girl!


take care,
-marina

 

^Thank you.