Okay, I'll start Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told Bush that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from Bush's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering. Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"
lol, ive heard that before. When i saw the thread title i thought it was going to be GWB quotes, which made me think "Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?"
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004 Find some more @ http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blbushdumbquotes2.htm
I posted this on a number of other websites a few years ago, but I think it's still somewhat valid George Bush put together quite a Coalition -- but what did each member state contribute? Afghanistan (Nothing, But they do have a lot of poppy fields) Angola (Head Lice) Albania (The dead blessings of former Albanian Mother Teresa) Australia(A battalion of aborigines armed with boomerangs) Azerbaijan (Nothing) Bulgaria (Promises to cross the Hellespont, and capture the Turks who stoned U.S. Gov Officials) Colombia (Sent over the North Valley Drug Cartel with their mini-submarine fleet to patrol the Tigris) That is instead of bringing in tons of drugs to Florida and California. Czech Republic (Sent the complete works of Franz Kafka to General Tommy Franks) Denmark (free prostitutes for the U.S. Troops) Dominican Republic (Sent a shipment of sugarcane to the gulf) El Salvador (Sent over a school of deadly Piranha to seed the Euphrates) Eritrea (Sent over a squad of warriors) Estonia (Provided technical support on how to manage an economy without Jews) Ethiopia (Sent some of their finest jugglers to Kuwait to entertain the troops) Italy (Free Pizza for the troops) Japan (Released Godzilla to use as plan B) Kuwait (Nothing, but they do have sand as far as the eye can see) Latvia (Promises not to Join NATO in 2004 …ooops! to late) Macedonia (Sent Central Command old war plans of Alexander the Great) Micronesia (Sent over several crates of Pineapples) Mongolia (Captured several Yeti to put into action) Netherlands (Well they did recently legalize euthanasia) Nicaragua (Sent Area-51 some Chameleons to participate in a black-ops, super-soldier experiment) Philippines (Imelda Marcos has promised to provide each female soldier with a new pair of combat boots) Poland (Sent President George Bush a first-edition copy of '1001 Polish Jokes' ) Romania (Received Count Dracula's personal assurance that he will suck the life's blood out of every Iraqi Soldier) Rwanda (Sent-in an elite squad of Silverback Mountain Gorillas to teach warfare tactics) Singapore (Promises to provide all of the opium the CIA can smuggle into The United States) Solomon islands (a free tattoo for every enlisted man) Spain (Sent over the famed Spanish Armada to patrol the gulf) Uganda (Promises to provide a division of pygmies to put into action) United Kingdom (45,000 troops with bad teeth and bad breath) Hotwater
Top Ten Possible Targets for Bush's New Missile Defense System 10) Sister Bertrille flying in from San Tanco 9) Harry Potter on his broomstick high over New York 8) Any UFO's crossing into the U.S. airspace from Mexico 7) Wrestler Jimmy 'The Superfly' Snuka high over the Ring 6) William Shatner's hairpiece high over Los Angeles during a Santa Anna 5) Monty Python's Flying Circus 4) A High Jump Athlete doing a really high Fosbury Flop 3) Any Air France flight with their usual compliment of Al Qaeda operatives 2) Colin Powell flying in his Lear jet after Dick Cheney labeled him a traitor 1) Bobby Brown's unconscious mind after a week on Coke, Speed, & LSD Hotwater
