I posted a while ago about a guy I've seen 8 different times. Well, we went out for our first date last Friday. Or, our first date in 6 months! And, everything was perfect. All though our lives he's been very materialistic and an all over "prep" he wants money, has money, all that. Shops at Abercombie, Nordstroms, all the expensive places I've never believed in. I've always been a hippie at heart. I use to be a major hippie, I dressed like it wore all the cloths listened to the music, all of it! Now, I'm still a hippie at heart with all the belifes etc. Well, now that we are seeing eachother I'm starting to change myself. I've died my hair blond, started to exercise, bought some sexy expensive cloths, got my nails done, started wearing more makeup and being much more preppy! The thing is, I want to be able to change my "style" but not change my "beliefs". So far, I've only broken my "never change for anyone and be yourself" rule. I'm ok with that because, in a relationship you're suppose to give and bend a little. But, I'm kind of struggleing to keep my identity as far as my beliefs and who I am under my skin! I've never been a materialistic person and I'm scared of turning into that. But part of me really wants to, it seems fun to indulge into materialistic things! He's told me point blank that he wants me to change and be more "femanin" aka "preppy". And I understand he wants someone on his level. As far as financial, we are on the same level, well... our parents are. Our families are both very stable! So, he knows I can keep up with him, but he wants me to prove it and actually do it! I don't know what I want. Like I said in my previous post about our relationship, we've known eachother for 8 years. Are best friends and absolutely love eachother and hope to be married one day. We have an undescribable connection. But he's very shallow... and I'm very, not! So this is hard for me. I actually went and bought a $30 Tommy Hilfiger handbag yesterday! Like I said, part of me loves it... but in my heart I don't want to change who I am on the inside. Changing on the outside is fine, I've always done it. But there's something about letting my beliefs go. Any advice out there? Anyone have any suggestions of how to handle this?
if he wants you to change ANYTHING about yourself for him, even little things like how you dress, etc, he DOES NOT REALLY LOVE YOU!!!!!! get out! be yourself, inside AND out. i mean, clothes don't make the man, but spending so much money on shit that was assembled in a sweatshop by children who get paid 30 cents a week is simply RETARDED. if this guy really loved you as much as he says he does, you wouldn't have to change a THING about yourself. he shouldn't care about your image and how you look to other people. jeezus, the boy needs to grow up! and if you don't get out now, you might regret it later in life. and remember, clothes don't make you WHO you are. but the fact that he is wanting you to change your image so that you are more "like him" is so completely diluted and immature. you deserve someone who can like you and appreciate you for everything about YOU.
Your too young to be concern yourself with long term shit. Do what you want or you will never be happy. If you enjoy splurging a bit and are able to, do it. That should not have any influence on your inner self. Just be try to have fun for now and go with the flow. Generally, people do change a little the older they get and the more experience with life they get. Don't do it just because he wants you to, do because you feel like you would be happier. If not, don't and tell him you aren't comfortable with changing. If you have been friends for 8 years, I'm sure he is aware of your psyche by now. Be open and you will either work it all out or realize your not right for each other.
He sucks, and your going to suck just like him. Sounds like a shallow loser for you. He has some pathetic ways of wanting to you exist. Go find yourself a deep beautiful hippy guy. With long hair, tan body, who likes to make music, and make love under the stars. A nice wonderful nature boy who will pick you flowers, and paint your portrait... Someone who loves you no matter what. Someone you can dive into spirtually,mentally,physically . Stop wasting your time, life is short, and do what you feel because it is the only thing that is real. Your heart is telling you the truth, your ego(greed) is trying to lie to you.
Ya shouldn't worry about conforming to anyone's standards whether it be so called hippies, preps, etc. Just be true to yourself. And just for the sake of saying it, the way you dress doesn't make you who you are inside
NOOOOOOOOooooooo don't at all change for him got that?? DON'T... I had this one ex boyfriend he tried dressing me up in mini skirts and stuff and started saying I was very very fat so I started making myself throw up and stuff to make myself look the way he wanted me to look... he wanted a magazine image of the steriotypical women and stuff then that's what he was going to get... he started calling me a slut and everything... Don't change for anybody but yourself... if you want to change then it's up to you, don't let people change who you are or what you look like.. you'll regret it!
No, dont change for him...be yourself inside and outside, if he cant accept and Love you for who you are, then he doesnt Love you Really.. and its not a good idea to get engaged at your age... i was once.. it really didnt work out and yeah..
Sure, in a relationship, you bend and give a little...but no, you don't change who you are to satisfy someone. There is always some sort of compromise, but when it comes to being yourself, there should be no compromise. Either he loves and accepts you for who you are, or he doesn't really love YOU. C'mon now...this is not a hard concept, and you don't need people on a forum telling you this. He wants you to PROVE yourself to him?! Tell him to fuck off...you don't have to prove yourself to anyone... And how the FUCK do you have an undescribable connection, are very in love with each other...and yet...he's very shallow and you're not? What the fuck kinda connection is that? You don't seem like you're being honest with him or with yourself. How can you have a connection that's just sooo great...with someone sooo shallow? And why the fuck would you WANT to be with someone like that...?? As far as letting your beliefs go...um...don't...? It's not that hard. From an outside point of view...this guy sounds like a fucker who wants you to change to fit his idea of a perfect girl...and yeah, fuck that. Do what you will...but still...don't be stupid.
