Messy Guys

Honestly, don't you hate these guys? Ok so, my boyfriend and I still live at home. WE had made plans to go out to the movies tonight but it got cancled cause his mom made him and his brother clean their room! Keep in mind, it's a mobile home bedroom. So tiny! And the room always looks like it has had a bomb go off inside of it!
I can not get it though his head to clean up after himself. It's taking him 6-8 hours for him to clean up this itty-bitty room. He has so much clutter and crap and it's just attrocious! Being this messy, (even living with your younger brother) makes me kind of loose respect for a guy. (Not that I'm loosing respect for my bf, just, if it were another guy. I just wanna beat my bf because he won't listen when I tell him to keep it clean!)
Anyone know any men (or women) like this! It's obnoxious as fuck!

 

Hmm can't sy I know anyone that bad! Hmm, honestly, perhaps when you see him next, talk ot him about it, and say something like, "Gee, it must have been completely and utterly boring cleaning your room the other day! Have ya ever tried writing a list or something to organise things daily or something? Would save you a lot of time," and add that you're not trying to sound like his mother or anything, but are just trying to help, and explain how you feel about messy guys as tactfully as you can.

Here's hoping that helps

 

i'm a messy guy and whats wrong with that?
i grew up in a house that was sterile...if u touch anything it was total freakout time...u got 1 fingerprint on anything and yad hafta clean the entire house...
id rather live in a mess then be afraid to touch anything or go into certain rooms (for some reason, our living room was off limmits) messes are more confy

 

Thats cool though dude! What works in your life totally rocks my socks off! But honestly, oh my gosh, dealing with my messy boyfriend is horrible! I'm a clean freak as it is! All my friends tease me "I thought hippies never shower" my response is "hippies care about their health and lives... showering is just sanitary!" so! But I understand where you're coming from man! I would hate to feel like I'm in a no touch room! That's just not necessary! Why have furniture that you can't sit on. But, at the same time, why have a bedroom floor that you have to step over everything, or a bed you can't sleep on because of so much random shit!

 

by your own admission though he lives in a very small trailer room... it's very hard to keep small places uncluttered. Or at least, I've always found 'em difficult

*shrugs* it's something to talk over with him if it bugs you thismuch though.

 

I'm not a dude, but I'm messy. My excuse it that messes keep me organized, and no that's not an oxymoron. Since I don't have a set place for anything, my mess becomes my organization and when things are tidy I feel "unorganized"

 

hahaha exactly,,i have stuff somewhere in this tiny apartment thats been missing for 5 years just cause someone decided to clean up

tiny rooms have tiny clossets..no closset spece=cluttter in piles everywhere
but at least ya know which piles got what

 

i'm kinda messy, but i know where everything is. If i organize it, then have to find something ill have no idea where to look.

 

Um, no offense, but it's not your place to tell him what to do. It sounds like you have a bit of a control issue here.

If messiness bothers you, date another neat freak. Don't try to boss your bf around or act like his mommy. Frankly, if I heard a bf talking about me the way you talked about your bf in your post, I'd dump his ass. If you can't take him as he is, you shouldn't be dating him.

 

The real trick is to find a wife who cleans up after you.

 

hahaha spooner

i agree with dawn_sky. if he's happy, then it's your problem not his.

 

But it's not like he's happy. Shit, maybe he is but the point is, his mom is making a big deal about him cleaning it. It should be cleaned every week before he is allowed to go out. So, if it has to be cleaned, and it takes him 2 days to do it, why dosen't he just keep it cleaned!

 

Maybe he doesn't care. Maybe it takes two days because he spends more time goofing off with his brother or playing video games or whatever than he spends actually cleaning. Maybe this is a way for him to rebel against his mother. Maybe he likes the clutter and hates that nasty nasty day when his room is officially "clean".

Whatever the reason, it's not your place to tell him what to do. Either he will learn to keep it clean so that he can spend time with you or he won't. You can either put up with that or move on.

 

I can't help but think that this is a bad match for messy and clean freak. I have found that unorganized people in their material plane, also have chaos reigning in other departments too. There are different levels of mess and disorder, and a neurotic preoccupation with every thing its place, can be a trial for anyone, but cleanliness must be close to godliness, and it would seem that perhaps clean freak might just sweep messy guy under the rug, and do some relationship housecleaning of her own. There has to be someone in this world of billions to appreciate your need for clean, why waste time on someone who can't even get himself together to be with you. Good luck on finding Mr.Clean.

 

Im the same way, my mom was anal about my room. Some people are just that way, it dosent concern them and so they dont do anything about it. A mess dosent concern me so I dont clean up, its as simple as that. There are other things I need to worry about more than weather my room is spotless or not.

 

It's not a matter of breaking up with a messy dude. We've been together for years and him being messy isn't THAT big of an issue! I can deal with it on normal occasions, it's just when his priorities don't get in line and he ends up grounded because of something I've mentioned to him on a number of occasions!

 

So, how does he normally handle conflict?

If you've been together for years (how old are you two that you've been together for years yet he still lives with mom?), and this is something you've harped on multiple times, could this be a passive aggressive way to avoid dealing with you? I've known people who do that -- the more you remind them, the less likely they are to do it, even to the point that they'd rather be grounded than "obey" their gf or bf.

 

We're both 19 and we've been together since we were 16

 

He's 19 and his mom still has to tell him to clean his room?

What a putz.

 

Well by the sounds of your statement you sound like a control freak, but if you really loved him you would take him for who he is . Not for what he does. that is saying job school messiness etc. i myself live in a tiny apt with tons of stuff it is hard to keep clean. When you live at home and under the roof of your parents your to do what is said. And you said he had a younger brother ?? Maybe thts why? he had to clean his room. I had to clean my room at 19 at home (noot that it was messy) but to show example for my younger siblings. If you Tell/Control/ freak out and talk like you were you won't have no one around . Words are powerful The average person speaks 5000 words a day if they watched what they said they would speak less.