Why would you not breastfeed?

HIV pos status, I can understand. We STILL don't know for sure, as it is the invasion of the gut by proteins other than human milk which can cause microtears and let the HIV into the baby's system via milk. But the jury is still out on the entire HIV and breastfeedind issue. I certainly wouldn't blame a mother who chose either method of feeding, as there are babies who are HIV neg, who have been nurse by HIV POS moms. But, if an HIV pos mom doesn't want to risk it, I can understand, completely.

I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said, TerrapinRose.

 

So breastfeeding is necessary to be a good mother?

That is a nice subtle way of insulting what, 1/3rd of mothers in America?

Breastfeeding is not necessary to be a good mother. To insinuate that is ludicrous. It is one thing that CAN make a mother good, but it alone does not make or deny a mother the status of being 'good.'

 

That isn't what she said........she said not wanting to be inconveinenved or messy and just using your child as an ornament was a reason to NOT become a parent.

 

your absolutely right. Just becuase i had bottle fed my son, doenst mean im an awful parent! Breastfeeding is defiantely beneficial, but i dont think u should JUDGE someone who doesnt!

Millioins of people have been brought up on formula, and not all of them are bad people who were raised by AWFULLY SELFISH PARENTS.!

I knew this one girl who did breastfeed her child while doing drugs, does that make her better of a mother, than myself who never has done drugs @ all, where my child is more advanced in his 9 months than this other child, who is 10 months old!!
(btw she no longer breastfeeds due to drugs decreasing her milk supply).

 

but how many of those people were given formula before the studies were done that proved breast milk was best? For many years doctors thought formula was better, so many mothers gave their babies formula believing they were doing what was healthiest for their child.

Now women KNOW that breast milk is healthiest... so unless it is medically impossiable for you to breast feed, it is rather selfish IMO.

 

could have been the lotions. mom's drinking didn't become an issue until well into her 40's, she'd always been a lightweight. maybe the lanolin would be the problem, though i don't think i'll tell my mother at this point. she tried so hard and to find out now that it was something so simple would probably just kill her. i got SO SICK. poor mom. i was the one she tried to get everything right with. hehe. i've always been contrary. i have, however, always had an aversion to milk fat. maybe my mother's milk was too fatty?

 

Quite a few people have made the statement of 'if you dont breastfeed your child(without a valid medical reason), you are a selfish and lazy parent.'

My statement stands for whoever says such things. It is quite easy to assign bad traits to parents such as 'can't be inconvenienced' or 'dont like the mess' to make it easier to attack parents.

So i'll be straight:

If a woman chooses NOT to breastfeed her baby, is she automatically a bad mother?

 

Does being selfish make a person a bad parent? Maybe an imperfect parent, but no one is perfect.

However, i think it is a simplification of the issue calling a woman selfish for choosing not to breastfeed without medical reason. A lot of times the support is not there within the family or social circle. A single mother working one or more jobs may also choose not to breastfeed becuase of her situation. It may not be perfect parenting, but not bad parenting either. I don't think there is such a thing as perfect parenting.

 

sometimes when we're anonymously arguing our ideals, we forget the person on the other end. it's easy to be harsh in our judgements when we don't have to look into the eyes of someone hurt by our statements...people we'd otherwise love and accept. don't allow yourself to be hurt by words on the screen that come out without considerations and love for the person who may be a wonderful friend. i'm positive proof of an unbreastfed child who rest assured of her mother's love and commitment.

 

Hear, Hear!

 

i find some women to be insanely defensive about doing it and rude to people who choose not to although it is our choice to not do it.
i wouldn't because i don't want my boobs to sag and i am unable to produce enough milk for a child because i am lactose intolerant. i've already talked it over with my doctor and he said it would be very unlikely for me to be able to which is perfectly fine by me...

 

Not wanting to be defensive. Just clearing up some misunderstandings you have.

Pregnancy and the engorgement you get whether or not you BF makes your boobs sag. If you don't want your boobs to sag, don't have kids. And certainly, don't obey the laws of gravity or anything.

Lactose intolerance has NOTHING to do with whether or not you can even breastfeed. You want the facts? Ask your doctor how much time, how many courses he took about human lactation. Did he spend even a semester studying it? I highly doubt it, considering his "knowledge".

You want the facts about BFing and it's effects on saggy boobs, or if lactose intolerance will cause low supply, find an IBCLC in your area and ask her!

 

Okay, I'll say it now. I AM defensive about breastfeeding. But only against some of the women that come up with the most selfish reasons for not. Like valuing cosmetic appearance over infant health.

But I totally understand those women that had no support and no knowledge of bfing before they had, and immediately after they had their babies. I'm sorry for them, and just hope they take that opportunity as one of learning. To come out of it with more knowledge and conviction to BF subsequent children, or at least try!

 

regardless, i refuse to breastfeed. get over it.

 

It's a personal choice. That's the only fact that should be needed.
Asking someone to breastfeed because you think it's right is like asking them to not have an abortion because you think it's wrong.

 

To me, the question of breastfeeding or not, was never an option. My mom breastfed all 4 of us, and so did the other moms with their children, when I was a kid. Very few of them did it past a certain age, but most of them did for a quite a while. It just seemed natural to me. It was rather appalling, to choose (I hereby mean that these women had a choice, and not because it was due to a medical condition) not to breastfeed. I am not demonizing anyone, I would never ever question somebody elses choice. But mine was basically made due to my upbringing.

 

most of the women I know who chose not to breastfeed did so from lack of support and misinformation. They have no support for breastfeeding, and have been fed horrible untruths by people who don't know the first thing about human lactation. They truly believe that formula-feeding is just as good for baby, and is easier for mom. I know, firsthand, that neither of those things were true for me or my baby when she was unable to nurse and had to be supplemented with formula. If I hadn't had the support and information from online message boards (Dr. Jack Newman, in particular, he used to answer breastfeeding questions via email), I know I'd never have been able to fight three very long months before being able to nurse my first child.

 

Regardless of your decision about breastfeeding, if your doc told you that you would be unable to do so because of lactose intolerance, I highly suggest finding a new doc. Because that is absolutely ridiculous and shows a high level of ignorance.

Lactose tolerance past a certain age (past when you would breastfeed) is a mutation. It is predominantly found in societies that were traditionally herding socities. Huge chunks of the world's population are predominantly lactose intolerant. How did people in those areas nourish their children for generations before forumla, if breastfeeding is not possible? Oh, wait, that's right, they breastfeed.

Regardless of your personal choice about breastfeeding, if your doc is telling you that you won't be able to do so because of lactose intolerance, he knows too little about human variation for me to look up to him as anything more than a quack.

 

I know that my mum couldnt breast feed because during my labour she had quite a hard time and something happened with her liver and it wasnt working like it should, so I grew up on formula. However, I'm not messed up because of it (though I am messed up ) and my cousin had to stop breast feeding because her babies demand for breast milk was too high and she couldnt keep up, it caused her pretty bad pain and under her doctors reccomendation she switched him to formula and he's doing just fine. I dont want to have children, but if I did I wouldnt breastfeed, it's my personal choice and I have the right to choose!

 

I nursed all my babies, and they are all healthy and beautiful.