Black Women on the Down Low....

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i am still not sure what my opinion on this thread is, i will get back to you when i make up my mind...
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I'm not quite sure what the point is either, but I see the observation you're making.


The thing is, in my small mostly-white suburb (unfortunately) I don't know many black women, much less an black lesbians. I know several black women outside of the tiny town, and well...most are straight...a few black women athletes I know from my basketball teams are lesbians, but so are most of the white women.

I dunno, it's hard to see cultural trends when you're not widely exposed to the culture. From reading and statisitics, I have heard about the lack of "good men" black women feel subject to. One thing I've never quite understood about this is that there seems to be a lack of good men, generally. But maybe that's just me.

 

i guess i have a hard time too because i havent been exposed to the whole picture. there are some beautiful black bisexual girls and lesbians in fayetteville. but the ones close to me (that i hang out with) are just FREAKY Freak types and I love em to death but I just thought they wanted to have their cake and eat it too. anywhoo I can understand where you are coming from with the NO GOOD MEN thing. Not just black men, but all men in general. THe good ones are always taken, or turn out to be crazy as fawk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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...or they're gay.

 

I m a black woman, and i am a very femme lesbian also. like i am with women cause i find women attractive sexualy and i find women's bodies beautiful. It has nothing to do with "no good black men" or anything about men. If every man on earth was a demi god i would still be a lesbian cause i m attracted to women. my sexuality is not defined by men or lack of men. i have had sex with many men in the past and i quickly found out it is not for me, that is how i know i am les. like i dont hate men or anything i just do not view them as romantic or sexual partners. like i must admit that i have had a hard time finding other black bisexual or les women, i feel that is partly to do with the fact that in the black communtiy being a homosexually inclinded woman is looked down upon greatly. My father is black and my mom is Lithuanian, so the black communtiy allways treated me like an outsider anyway so i never really had that to get over with, but alot of black women r very much into there community and the church and what not. I m also a witch so between me being biracial and a witch most black r not freindly toward me anyway not getting into the fact i m a les.

The funny thing is though, blacks accept gay black men all the time! it is like it is ok if a guy is gay but not a woman. I think alot of black women r kinda conservative to begin with and have a hard time breakign out of what is thought to be acceptable. I have lived all over the usa and found this to be true most anywere i go. I honestly m a very open minded person so m willing to date woman of any race,(but for some reason i have ended up dating alot of jewish women- i m not sure why though:H) but i have found that the black bi or les women i have met do tend to try to stick to only other black women wich i think is not really a good thing ither. and of the black bi and les women i have known they also tend to like to fullfill that really hard butch type persona also, like just cause i m very femme and love all things female they act like i m a trader or something. like to be a black homosexually inclined women means bing tuff? like and to be girly is being white? that makes little since to me, but alas i can only go on what i have exprerienced in my 24yos 10 of wich i have been les.

i dont have all the ansers i m just telling what i have gone threw, as a black les woman.

 

Wow...thanks for your account, it was really interesting.


I know exactly what you mean, how could sexual orientation have anything to do with a "lack of good men"? It makes no sense.

There could be a number of reasons why gay men and not gay women are accepted in the black community...considering I'm not part of it directly I won't speculate, but I found your thoughts really helpful in understanding what black lesbians experience.