ok this is long, but can some of you guys read it and tell me waht you think? i was stoned, evident by the typing and some of the language. whenever it says jev, its jsut a short way of saying jehovas whitness. stoner (thats the title) silence, dark. lighter is clicked, clickerd, then lit above a now visible bong. stoner takes a hit. music begins on vinyl. somethign drug related. Purple haze for energy? Strawberry frelds for mellowness? savoy truffle for munchies and tempo? octopus garden to represent isolation? dito for fool on teh nhill? moonage daydream for its wierdness? preferably a short song... i will is short and very nice sounding, notreally relevant tho. maybe me and my monkey, thats wierd too?maybe glass onion? shit tehres so many options. stoner puts on outdoor clothes over pyjamas or seomthing, we see a mcdonald's shirt strewn across a chair. stoned, walking down street. as he leaves his house, we spina cross to some jev's at a neighboring house coming saying 'hi we are jehovas whitness, and we would like to tlak about god' stoner goes to corner store he gives a 100$ bill, and we can clearly see he has mistaken it, including change calculations, for a 10$. he then rents some movies and accidentally puts his pile next to anotehr pile, which he then takes home. as he gets near home, we see the jevs leaving the prevfious house, female says 'jehova is with us always. have a nice day, and thank you for your time'. he heads abck home and prepares some food, making heaps and heaps of food. a knock comes on teh door, and the music finnishes. there are two jehovas whitnesses at the door. one is male, the other is female. 'hi we are jehovas whitness, and we would like to tlak about god'. stoner looks at them, smiles and invites them in. he leads them in, and locks the door behind them. he seats them down outside, and as they get their books ready and all, stoner goes to ktichen and gets a tray of cookies. he offers the jevs come biscuits, and they humbly accept them. they talk a bit, the whole while, stoner not saying a word. and stoner pulls out a joint and lights up. slowly the effects of marijuana sink in to the jevs. stoner lights a candle, but the jevs have stopped talking. they are merely sitting staring the flame. stoner goes inside. cut to evening. the candle blows out. instantly, the jevs snap out of their trance and are confused and slightly scared.stoenr returns now and brings out munchies. male eats fast and strong. female stares angerly. she wants teh food for herself. they fight over the food. sparks are heard. then we see stoner lighting his bong. they stop what they are doing and turn to him. they then look at eachother and teh reality hits in. male begins fathers prayer, falling to teh ground and praying profusely. female eats jsut as profusely. there is a glass of water visible. they both look at it. they both lunge for it, and subsequently, smash it across the ground. female begins to cry, male looks to the sky and looks at female and laughs, like 'mwahahaha' evil u know, and stoned. the stare off begins. female is becoming very very anxious. male looks evil, and its no wonder hes scaring the shit out of female. male goes into the ktichen and begins to look at knives. female sees him, and gets shitscared. she looks at the glass on teh floor, and picks up ythe largest shard of glass, and quickly runs out of the shot. male re-enters, holding a small cheese knife. the camera looks down from him, to some cheese that stoner broung out earlier with crackers. the camera then pans up to stoner's face. somehow, we see in his eyes or some sort of sillouette of female creeing up on male we enter stoner's vision. it is very jerky, and colourful, and specially edited (editing process will require use of cannabis). we can still see however, female vaguely stab male through sotner's vision. female then looks around, looks at stoner and becomes incredibly paranoid and anxious, and kills herself. as soon as she stabs herself, he are shocked out of stoner's view, and see female holding glass to her chest, bloo staining her white shirt. she says 'jehova is with us always. have a nice day, and thank you for your time' and dies stoner is still sitting blazed. there are two dead jev's on teh floor. he looks at teh bodies and whines. stoner slowly stands up, lifts one body over tothe other and goes inside. it is dark for some seconds maybe with voiceover of suitable bible quote by male jev, then we hear click click sching and see the intro bit sorta again. its not that much of an interestnig or unique story, but i think it would make a good short film like, under 7 mins, if done really well
we have already had enough problems with "Reefer madness"...now this... but any good story line...and the imagry was great i could picture the whole thing
well, see if i do it i want to enter it into a big australian film comp, tropfest. last time i went tot the tropfest finals, i saw the biggest amount of smokers ever in one place in my life lol. thats sorta waht inspired me. but yer i know how its reefer madnessish, but its based on a truestory (or more likely urban myth lol) before anyone goes off on how weed doesnt make you violent, you need to remember that these poeple have never been stoned, and dont expect it. byt the time they have suspicion, theyre already off their nut. additionally, do not try this trick on other poeple, it can cause instant psychosis and suicide (much like, though much less extent, as lsd. if you took lsd and didnt know it, or had done it before, youd be fucked up for life, or jump out a window).
yah i was too lazy to read yours, but here is my movie short idea. family is eating dinner downstairs. i slowly creep down close to the table, take a fat rip and blow it right in everyone faces only to be meet with a staredown from my father which i promptly end with a dropkick to the face. the end
Can you take Constructive Critisism? Too much about what was playing. Not enough character developement early in the story. You really SHOULD visit the "Writers" forum...
yer ill go there now ubt there is character development, jsut not scripted, plus there isnt too much caus its only a 7 min aim.
