please help critique my translated poem

Discussion in 'Spanish' started by celeritea, Oct 17, 2006.

  1. celeritea

    celeritea Member

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    what have i done to deserve you

    a cold splash of water from way above the salt mines

    finds my face beautiful

    i will study and practice the art of loving you

    i will let you grind your bow on my deepest string until you find the note you like

    then you can tune me down

    so that my timbre reaches the bottom of your lungs

    and you can breathe the vapors of my crystalline eyes

    as they melt in the salt air of our descending race

    que hice merecerte

    voy permite moler tu arco en mis cadenas mas hondos

    hasta que encontras la nota que gustas

    entonces te puedes buscar la melodia perfecta

    asi mi anchura alcances el fondo de tus pulmones

    y puedes respirar las vapores de mis cristalinos azul

    como los ojos hace fusion en el aire sal del raza descendiendo

    que hice a merecerte

    una salpica de agua fria

    de muy alta de las minas de sal

    encontra mi cara...guapo

    voy practicar el arte de amor para ti

    tu hada pequena fuerte rubia jade

    id rather be pure wind

    because i could always find your hair

    and i could keep up with you

    my breath dissipates

    you're gone

    preferido ser aliento puro

    porque puedo siempre fallarte su pelo

    y puedo sigue alto con ti

    mi aliento disipia

    mi amor

    ya se fue

     
  2. Rav1

    Rav1 Member

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    Un poco galimatias pero beuno.
     

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