Five people I knew died last night in a car wreck on the road by my school... a friend of mine whose older brother died in a wreck told me he'd had visions of us wrecking on that road before and of other people... so, he left and went to Richmond for a drag race and I find out today that a car accident happened right in the same spot he said he thought we would wreck. Another person I went to school with died 150 feet away. I don't know how to feel anything anymore... or what to feel when... or when to feel what. And I really don't know what to do about it. It makes me wonder how life would be as a funeral home director or a forensic pathologist... or a detective. I've always wondered. I guess now I know how it really feelssssssss
Sounds like you're numb. Bummer about what has happened. In my 43 years I haven't had to deal with what you've faced.
I just went to the candlelight vigil... I can't take this shit... Everyone left me, man. Everyone is just dissapearing.
George....it seems like every other day you're making a thread about people you know dying. That sucks, hon. I'm sorry for your losses.
I'm so sorry to hear that, it sounds selfish but it seems like being left behind is much worse than passing on because missing someone, grieving for them, must be more painful than the instant of a car wreck, and lengthier, my condolences.
Three funerals, two memorials, and two candlelight vigels in five days.... I am burnt out on depression... just... you know. I'm gone. I can barely lift a finger, man. If only I could add up the time I spend making eye contact with the wall. Hah... yeah, I feel like I waste alot of time, but it's not like I can stop. I was driving home from Hampton Roads this morning, listening to the radio, and I just about had to pull over... I really.. just need to quit driving. I really just haven't been in the right state of mind to drive, lately.
That's the way I see it. But it sucks... Robbie was going to graduate in the next week or so, too. He'd been busting his ass working to make payments on his new truck and trying to work and go to school at night to pass. I didn't go to my HS for two days this week... didn't talk to grief counselors or anything either (generally can't stand them). My way of dealing with general anger is singing really loud while driving around with no real destination, so... yeah, I've been doing that alot and going mudding alot this week, to vent. I burnt over a quarter tank of gas today because of that... but I drive a 4x4, so that's nothing. And at least I'm going to Charlottesville tomorrow... r4t uyw5uyw hu wh0w4u,=e3r
George, I wanted to say something before when you first posted this...I just can't think of what besides I am sorry. I've lost people, but not that many at one time, or in such a terrible way. I'm really really sorry. If you need anything let me know. Hang in there, or at least try your hardest. It sounds corny, but something that got me from a really tough period in my life was a song by REM called "Everybody hurts." I'm not even an REM fan...it just worked. I'm here for ya.
I know this is a little late...but I only just heard....and I am so verry sorry !!!! I hope you will soon feel a bit better...and please remember....they are still around us..only we dont see them !!
Hey first off sorry for not saying something sooner, I really am sorry and feel miserable for leaving someone in need un cared for. I hope you start to feel better soon, I know it's hard but you just need to keep your head up and keep truckin'. They never go away, thier memories at least. Don't be afraid to have fun again, I know I felt guilty doing anythign semi-amusing after my friend died but rmember life goes on. Just because you are smiling and laughing doesn't mean you think any less about them, I'm sure they'd want to to have fun. My friend told me as he died, "don't mourn me, remember me. There is nothing you can do for me, just be happy every day that I'm better off now." He died from cancer three hours later, but always remember that they are always there for you. Always listening. When you go mudding I'm sure they are right there with you. Keep your head up buddy, if you need anything at all, even just someone to vent to email me GBPackerFan1122@gmail.com. Peace, love, and wellbeing, Al
I read this thread when you first posted it, and I did not post anything in reply, honestly because I didnt know what to say. Ive experienced something like that before, although not as many people all at once, and Im not sure if I was as close to them as you were with those people. Im sorry. I know the pain and memories will always come back, but also remember that you are alive, youve got time to do things. That is the beauty of life- doing. Try to keep yourself busy, for too much sitting around will be, eventually, counterproductive to ever feeling better, and accepting it all. But, it goes without saying, that good quiet time, to sit and think, is also necessary. What is important is to not climb into a shell...reach out to other people, and form new relationships, and always try and look towards the future. I know how painful it must be for you though. And also, I dont know if you smoke pot do any other psychedelics, but Ive always found that when Im depressed, its better NOT to smoke up or anything...because then youll form a dependence on the drug, whether you like it or not, to feel better...and then youll really be stuck in a trap, because that is when drugs are destructive to lives. So make sure you dont smoke up or anything until you feel much more stable. Im not sure if you are into art, but whenever I am really down, I literally paint, or draw my emotions, or do self portraits of myself looking down. And I also write songs on piano. I pretty much try to put all of that energy, that ugly, sad energy, and transfer it through my art, onto a page, or into the keys, and its almost like the pain is leaving me bit by bit. The worst part is truth that "Time heals all wounds." In one sense, its good to know that theres going to be sunshine again, but knowing that you have to accept that you wont suddenly be happy tomorrow, or the next day. Youll have to accept that amount of time itll take to heal it all. Keep your head up, reflect, think about your own life and try to learn from it (I know it is hard to imagine right now) and reach out to your family and friends and try to stay busy. Cheers, Huge hugs, and Love, Dylan p.s. Hugs rock. Make sure you ask for them when you need them!
That was awsome man, couldn't have given you any better advice. Well said and well writen, hope you start to feel better soon...remember we all love you here and you always have us to come to if you need help.
