I'm a little bitch when it comes to talking

I'm shy as hell, and the only reason i can think that i am is because of my fear of Criticism, or any type of negative response to something that I have to say, or do. I just can‘t handle it so I just wad up in a nervous ball whenever I talk/interact with someone hoping that everything goes fine, and that they don‘t think that I‘m a fucking loser. My nerves get so bad that many bodily things that I fear seem to happen to me when I don‘t want them to. Like talking to girls, which I can only have the guts to do if they ask something, but I‘ll start thinking about, ‘oh shit what if I have to use the bathroom.” Then I‘ll have to go. Also I’ll start thinking about the way I walk, and thinking that I’m walking funny, then I’ll actually start walking funny and trip on the ground and shit. And it‘s extremely embarrassing when things like that happen. It’s so fucking stupid. Also lately when I talk to people, or am just around a lot of them, I’ll feel like I’m going to throw up, and I think it’s going to end up happening to me one day. I just want to fucking shoot myself, seriously. I know that it is illogical to fear criticism but I can’t seem to stop. I’ve tried everything I can think of but I just can’t seem to stop. This has driven me to a nervous wreck lately and I want it to stop. I just want to be able to talk to people in a normal fashion. I have found one thing that works, and that is xanax, but I have to take like at least a bar in order to be able to have a normal conversation with someone. And my memory goes out the window on it. And it’s really addicting. I just don’t want to have to resort to using xanax to fix this.

Does anyone have any advice for me besides just basically saying quit being shy?

 

um i feel like that sometimes..but my friends cheer me out of it

 

Take your balls out of your purse and be a man

 

I know exactly how you feel, i was like that long before i was on Xanax, but Xanax doesn't help after awhile you end up in the same boat as you were before, still nervous but hooked on Xanax, all you need to know that the tools and power to help you out of this situation is already inside you.

The problem with things like this is cognition, your telling your self the same thing 1000's (yes literally 1000's) of times a day and if that runs along the lines of "ill need to use the bathroom" or, "ill sound stupid" or "i walk stupid" then those things will
happen.

What you first need to work on is saying positive monologues even if you don't believe them because your old processes will fight new ones. so just try saying "my opinions are valid and i want to meet like minded people" or " i can walk perfectly fine"

 

If you are as shy as you say you are I congratulate you on submitting this post. To be a male and freely speak your feelings is an impressive feat in itself.

I would tell you to quit being shy, but I know it is easier said than done. I was and still am on the shy side. I had to learn that everyone looks/acts stupid from time to time. And if you worry about how dorky you look when doing something then you won’t enjoy anything you do. Now I can understand why you would feel nervous talking to girls. Simply because we girls are mean. And we have a habit of blabbing who fucked up what. However, if you ware talking with me and you had to go to the bathroom. I would much rather you walked retarded or stumbled over your own foot on your way out. Other than stand there and piss yourself. (Although that would make a great laugh at your expense.)

If you would like someone to talk with you are welcome to pm me. Although I believe there is nothing wrong with you and you’ll see that sooner or later.

 

Who are you to say what a man is, BOY!

 

Well talking to others has hardly killed anyone so dont fear it, if they did kill ya well you would be dead then you still would have nothing left to fear so seems pretty easy not to fear it.

 

Sounds to me like you have social anxiety disorder. Have you talked to a doctor about how you feel?

 

Sounds like you have social anxiety

 

It sounds to me as tho you are kinda like me, although I am not as bad as wanting to shoot myself.

I love the sound of my voice 4 sure, and many people have said that they love my voice and my accent (which is different even where I come from due to having wandered and lived a few), I even used to be in acting before a bunch of fuckdup shit happened.

However I have always felt so insecure about talking - just talking to anyone whether it is one-on-one or in a crowd. I feel myself going red, shaking (like big time DT shakes), stuttering and losing focus on the world.... Just deep bigtime shyness I guess, but it has ruined many situations and opportunities for me. My estranged wife always complains nowadays whenever we meet because I am always shaking like I have just gone cold turkey, I lost all trust in her as a person and now even as much as I try I get the whole SAD thing going on whenever I meet with her.

I tend nowadays to adopt a "mask" whenever I have to talk to peops that I don't know and trust 100%. This kinda solves it a little, but my it becomes a little character play instead of being me, and I often end up feeding off of giving entertainment and not truly joining a conversation, so it is not really a good solution and I wish I would stop it cos it bugs the hell even outa me nowadays when I subconsciously do it.

It is often hard to find people who understand, but that is no excuse for not trying to confront your fears and shyness. Keep trying, and remember that whatever goes on in your head, no-one can see anything but what you present to them.

 

The number 18 does not determine who is a man or not, experiences do

 

Yeah i know that it's social anxiety, and i've talked to my psychologist. She put me on lexapro but after only taking it twice i smoked some pot on it, which probably wasn't the best of ideas, and sort of had an extreme panic attack. I really thought i was going to die. I think it was a little more then just a panic attack though because i was really dehydrated and no matter how much water i drank i could tell that my body wasn't taking it in, and i felt like complete shit. I felt the most overwelming sense of terror ever. I had a seizure like symptoms from smoking just weed about a month before that, and it felt a lot like that, but didn't last near as long, and i blacked out during part of it. I was going into convulsions and i pissed myself in front of a few people. Talk about fucking embarrassing! I'm still not sure what that was. I'm thinking it was a panic attack at first then progressed into a seizure.

After this incident with lexapro i've been scared shitless of trying any other type of ssri, especially lexapro again. So for a while after that i just tried to solve my problem without medicine, then became extremely depressed. I still am, but not as bad. It's off and on. So then i heard about benzodiazapines being used for anxiety, and decided to ask my doctor about it. She didn't want me on it. I think she just thought that i was trying to bullshit her into getting the pills. Thats because she knows that i was arrested for pot about two years ago. I'm pretty sure she suspected that i was planning on abusing them, which i wasn't. So after that i found some xanax through a friend and tried it during social situations, and it worked fucking incrediebly! I pretty much figured it would though, and knew that xanax isn't exactly the safest drug as far as addiction goes so i've tried to take it easy with the xanax as much as possible. I've tried to only take it when i know i'm going to be arounds a lot of people, or i feel a panic attack coming on. Even then i only take 0.5mgs under the tounge. Just enough to get the job done. On the weekends when i'd go out to like parties and shit i ended up taking like a bar. I've been taking at least a bar or two every weekend now, and i'm starting to crave it during the week days. So far i've been able to reframe from taking it on the week days, but i don't know how long that will last. I can also start to feel it's effects fading away already.

This problems defdinitly not a simple one to fix.

 

I figured that after taking it for a while it wouldn't work anymore. What about other benzos? i'd think they'd be the same. Does it really end up getting that addicting?

 

Yes, but doesnt mean you have to get addicted to them, you just should be really carefull because they make you nervous when your not on them once you are hooked.

Just make sure that you take them for the right reasons, and occasionly dont take them even if you are having an attack (unless it's a real bad one)

I think the problem is it's a bit of crutch but you cant use it all the time any way so its not a totall solution, my suggestion would be to work on other ways of dealing with this problem but have the xanax as a back up option.

 

True, but I still stand by my statement.

 

Quit taking pot and LSD, for a little while

 

I've had a similar thing for most of my life - what, with being worried what people think of me, and all...

it's not easy to overcome, if you were socialized while growing up to be a dependent person.

One thing I've been finding useful lately, is to become an approval GIVER rather than an approval seeker. Rather than worry about what they think of your thoughts, instead you should take on the role and be the judge and do the approval-giving... you'll be utterly amazed at how harmless people are after you do this. Most people are approval seekers, so it works suprisingly well.

 

you're 16 - fuck off

as a 16 year old you're still growing mentally and physically so don't talk such utter bollocks lad!

 

Oh believe me i have. Even if i wanted to i couldn't right now, not because of this problem, but because all drugs lately (except xanax) have been making me really sick, and i'm not sure why. I think it probably has something to do with all this anxiety. Anxiety can do some pretty stange things to you. I did however take some acid a little over a month ago, some really good acid! I only took a half a hit at first then waited about an hour and a half. Everything was fine i felt fucking great so i decided to take the rest of the two hits. I was tripping great balls for about two more hours then i got really fucking sick. I felt like i had the flu for 4 hours. Then later that night i was depressed to the piont where if i'd have had a gun i would have shot myself, no doubt. That really scared me, and every since then i've laid off everything except xanax.

 

Thanks. I'll give it a shot.