You know your a parent when.............

When brushing your hair and putting on a shirt are the last things on your mind before going out.

When the longest conversation you've had with an adult all day consisted of "No, I'm sorry, Sally doesn't live at this number."

 

You wipe the noses of strange children you have never met before in the supermarket, and don't even realize what you have done, until later.

 

You know your a parent when you wake in the morning, light a cigarette, and can still smell baby's pants over the cigarette smoke. Poop stained rubber pants, full diaper pail, empty baby bottles, and mounds of baby clothes needing laundering.

Diaper changes that make one wince, followed by the classic eye burn caused by the strong ammonia odour of urine, as you rid junior of his soggy diapers and panties. The ability to carefully glide sharp safety pins through cloth diapers in the very darkness of the middle of the night, and bouts with diaper rash that one seems with never ever go away.

Crib sheets smelling of sour milk, baby powder, and diaper rash ointment. All out temper tantrums when things don't go baby's own little way, a spanking here and there, toys strewn from one end of the house, right through to the other, and the nonstop sound of the baby's rubber soled sleeper feet patting their vinyl plastic beat, back and forth, up and down, on the linoleum floor from morning through till night.

But motherhood is the best and I wouldn't give it up for anything.

 

When you offer a kid that fell at the skatepark and skinned his knee a band-aid, and watch even your own son look at you like you're crazy. (I guess moms don't realize skaters like to bleed everywhere) LOL!

Or when your 4 year old is on the potty going poop and yells "Mommy, Mommy, Mommyy!!! I love you" from the toilet

or when you sing You are my Sunshine 10 times in a row with your toddler, just because he loves to hear it--during your favorite show.

 

When you whip out your tit at the grocery store to feed the little one without a seconds hesitation, and then continue shopping without skipping a beat.

 

You are in the supermarket, with your tit out and the baby attached, and don't remember even unlatching your bra, lifting your shirt, or the baby even crying......when did I............?????

 

Oh, how about you get home from the mall, and realize that one of your bra flaps is open and one boob is hanging low, but you haven't nursed baby since before you left the house...???

 

.....when you're in public without your kids but still say 'what?' when you hear a kid say 'Mommmmmy!'

......when you periodically count heads while shopping (1, 2,3, ok..where's your brother?)

......when you give a 15 minute speech to your kids before getting out of the car at the grocery store