help i nee to talk to some one

Have you practiced in your mind how you will come out to your family..?...it sounds silly but it really helps if you visualize exactly what you will say and how you say it..
like a dress rehearsel...

 

i dont really know to tell you the truth.

At this present time i'm all messed up.

On Thursday night i spoke with him and he seems all messed up as well, telling me that he loves me and that he needs time to think, i get a text of him at about 12 ish saying " i hope your all right, your always in my heart"

Thats kind of saying to me that it's over.

Friday i hear nothing until late on and then i suddenly get a text saying that he misses me and that he needs me for my love and i keep him going.

Then i get another text saying " sorry i have met some one else online, he's not my bf or any thing but he feels guilty and i should know"

He go's on to say that just because he's met some one doesn't mean that i've lost him, he says he's cried as he knows he's hurt me and he can't have two men in his life "

i really don't have a clue whats goign on ?

i'm hurting like a bastard at the moemnt, whats going on, did i come along after he had already met some one, jesus this twist just keeps twisting doesn't it.

i've just sent him a text asking him what he wants me to do...

 

Go ZEN, which is to say hands up, palms out, and do nothing and put the twist upon him.

Excessive desire is the root of all human unhappiness.

There will be someone else at some point in time. You will survive.

 

i think your right you know man....i really do.

i shall take your advice and put my hands up in the air.

Sound advice.

 

NJnudedude does give good advice...

Chris

 

i have taken your advice and will try and not let it bother me too much, last night was the 1st night that we didn't text each other goodnight...it hurt, but i know it's the right thing to do.

I'm a loving person and i care very much, maybe i wear my heart on my sleeve too much.

It is kind of like an obssesion isn't it, the old " love game " but hey it's all part of life's rich tapestry"

Funny why things work out the way they do, i seem to always be wanting some thing, and can never get it, maybe thats the way that it was meant to be, lifes full of temptation and things that always seem are unfair, i know there will be all them sayign like it will make you stronger and all that, yeah it probably will, but it sure does fking suck some times.

 

I'm sorry....I know how bad it hurts because Ive been there lots of times, I too wear my heart on the outside of my body, and I always fall for someone who doesnt really want me the same way I want them....but, the world needs kind hearts and tender spirits...so dont change, you are perfect just the way you are !!!!

 

thank you again for all your kind words, they have helped me and so have the others i must say over these past few days etc, you know i believe in

"Karma is simply the golden rule: what you give out is what you receive - either in the same or in similar form. You reap what you sow - your actions create that which you do live out now, whether this relates to a past/future life situation or to the present date"

Wheh am i going to start seeing this pay me a little back.


I'm sick of it, i can't have any thing i ever wanted, yeah granted i got a house and a car and a good job, i have money, i have all the nice little things that i want but i can't find love, well i can but not in a normal manner, i always have to go about it the fucked up way.

I fell in love with an 18 year old boy, i'm fking 32......it fking tore me up, didnt even know it was happening, and i must not let it put me off looking for and finding love.

i'm a hard worker and i'll keep at it, but dam, come on send me it this way.

I guess not being out is a problem as well, well it's not and it is, after all i've lived on my own on and off for 10 years, since my dad passed away, got one brother that lives close, but hardley see him.

nearly had a baby once, but found out 3 months in that it wasn't mine, that hurt a little bit, been out with woman, dated and that but always seem to fail in the end, maybe because i am gay, maybe i am, maybe i'm not bi, i could be just saying that i am bi as i've slept with woman in the past, i'm just fked up at the moment so sorry for the rambling.

Maybe that's why this hurt, the 1st ever guy that i've actually had more than a thing for and maybe i put all the chickens, eggs, bread, water and milk in a big basket with this one.....i dunno.

I have a girl that is wanting me to go out with her now and start dating.....fantastic hu....i'm in love with a boy of 18 yet a lady wants to go out with me and i can't even pull a clean pair of pants on to entertain her......no disrespect in any way mind you, i'm only telling you my feelings......


arggggg, these things are sent to test us, well i must have passed with flying colours surly.!!!

dam i'm messed up.!

 

Your not messed up baby..just a little lost, and it happens to us all ! Some of the Karma has come back your way, only not in the form you wished...you have drawn many friends on these threads to you with your warm, wonderfull spirit, and your kindness, and honesty, and , eventually these same traits will draw your mate to you !

 

Please repeat the following to yourself....


Excessive desire is the root of all human unhappiness.

Quote from Buddha.

There will be another guy out there who will turn your tail. Keep your feathers open.

 

i know, i just feel it's good to express my self and let it all out....... i get yi

 

We love listening to you !!!

 

i know ! thanks.! much appreciated.....

 

i just thought i'd drop in and let you all know whats been happening...

erm i tried to think of some one else....i cant'
he's still txting me.....now and then... i miss you ?

now my mind does hurt....

 

Im so sorry....do you think what you are doing is right for you ?....you live in your skin and we can only give our opinions. What does your gut tell you ?

 

If it is painfull for you, maybe you shouldnt read his texts..I know ..its like when my ex used to call..and I would see her number on the I.D.and my heart would just race at the thought that she was actually calling me...and, of course , it meant more to me than to her...she just wanted to keep me around in case her current didnt work out !!
But, keeping in contact only keeps the wounds open !!!!

 

yeah your 100% right there........i just don't think at the moment i can tell him not too....

 

well im slowly pulling through it....thanks to this great site and the people i have met.......it is priceless......

 

Were always here anytime you need us !!!!