Why is parenting an "alternative lifestyle"?

Just wondering.

 

Because parents sux? Speaking of parents my rummy. I want you to be my daddy.

 

have you ben a bad little girl?

 

Not as bad as my new...daddy.

 

Have I been bad?

 

as an aside from the cyber sex, the little blurb under the link to the parenting forum says 'discuss alternative ways of bringing up kids" or something... alternative is in there anyway... I think that's why it's in alternative lifestyles.

 

Yeah, i think they are referring to things like AP, extended breastfeeding , no immunizations etc.

 

I think that lola's got it....it's sad that it's considered AP, but in the world today, what is best for your child really is not the norm.
I just remembered a commercial I saw on TV the other day with these moms saying, "I'm not a bad mom if I.......".....some of the things made sence, but other things like "I don't own a thermometer," or, "I want my bed to myself..." yadiyadi yada....it's things like this that are causing laziness and bad parenting choices and they are accepted because it always means less work.
If only our alternative was the norm.....but I guess that it has to start somewhere!

 

It's so funny because the main stream things that are supposed to be more convenient, actually cause more work! Like bottle-feeding...I HATE bottle feeding. I'd love to just pop warm, ready-made milk into her mouth whenever she needed it.

And strollers, cribs, disposable diapers, etc....Yucky....

 

oh, yeah, of course it's physically more work....just mentally, the whole parenting thing seems to be going down the shitter.

 

wtf? hah, now my post doesn't make sense cos tehre were these really random posts here yesterday...

 

Yeah what is up with that?
Seriously I have never understood why anyone would choose to do something so time consuming, inconvenient and unnatural when breastmilk is pretty damn perfect, as it should be.

As a baby I just hated bottles, ended up going straight from the breast to a cup because that was obviously the path of less resistance. Also got cloth diapered and I think they used sling too (there's certainly a photo of my brother being carted around in one by dad) ... my parents were pretty cool really.

 

I find it so sad how judgemental people can be towards other moms about these issues. I was happy to see the stroller thread and actually seeing people admit to using one. I believe that all babies are different, some don't like slings, some won't take the breast, and as moms we should be supportive of each other. For me, co-sleeping scared the crap out of me. My hubby has rolled over on me in his sleep and hurt me because he sleeps so deeply. When I'd try to put my son in bed with us as a newborn, I would not sleep a wink because I was so scared that he would somehow suffocate (even under my large breast). So, I felt better putting him in the crib, although he was rocked every night until 2. I don't think it makes me a bad parent because I use a stroller and crib. Fast forward 3 years, my son is in my bed every night and once again, I do not sleep at all because he is kicking and squishing me all night and I have not slept a full night in over a year. Does lack of sleep make me a better parent? I somehow doubt it.

Sorry, I just find so much judgement when it comes to those that claim to practice AP. I think AP is very broad and unique to each child and parent. I consider myself very fortunate that I was able to breastfeed my baby exclusively, but I would never look down on a mom that uses bottles, pacifiers, strollers, bouncers, cribs, etc.

 

Well said, Jgirl. Sometimes I think we tear each other down as mothers because it's so hard being a parent and we can't really know if we are doing a good job so we look at people who do something else and say there are bad. The most important thing is that we are present in our kids lives and aware,and doing the best job we can do. If what you do comes from love it will be good. I'm sorry for all the times I have been judgemental.

 

I really hope that I'm not coming across as judgemental in my post....if so, I am sorry. I was reffering to moms like that woman in that article hf posted a while back who didn't know squat about her kids, hated spending time with them, etc...and was proud of it.

 

Yeah, I don't mean to sound judgmental either...Well, a little bit...The stroller mommas that bug me are the ones with tiny newborn babies that are just red and shaking with their crying, the babies that you can tell just need their momma, and the momma's not even tempted to undo the buckle and cuddle them....I've been in a store with a momma like that, the baby was quiet, then started to fuss, and then went into the screaming cries, and throughout it all, the momma barely touched her. THAT'S what I just can't stand.

Other than that, when I said disposable diapers, cribs, strollers, YUCK! I meant, for me!

 

every person needs to 'learn' how to be a parent because they don't KNOW how to be one. Unfortunately we all went down that road before. WE use different things differnt parenting skills strategies etc for our children , so to stand there and say "that bugs me when" I myself work with dysfunctional families and to see them go from point A to point B makes me teary eyed because of the differnce the child has made and the sacrifices the family has put forth on their relationships before one another. The least one can do is think " omg why is s he yelling at her baby like that"

Maybe she got yelled at? give it a little effort and think more positively Why not go over there and lend a hand ... that would make their day

Maybe thats all she heard ?
Maybe she grew up in foster homes/ CAS etc
WE all have to look at our own spec in our own eye first before we look into anothers.

PG

 

Thanks for that, PG....I can't see myself actually going over to help, because doing anything seems like an imposition or "butting in"....You know?

 

You know years ago I had a friend who would thwack his son in the head,like a flick with his finger,as punishment. When challenged on it he said "My dad would've smacked the hell outta me." I remember thinking maybe his son won't hit at all thinking "my dad would've thwacked me for that." Maybe it takes a few generations to undo harmful bad, we can't really know where somebody else is at on their journey,can we? I suppose most people are trying to do the best they can with what they have.