Groundbreaking research

I agree. Terraces are better than plastic (or metal) chairs/ benches.

 

It's a conspiracy I tell you!!!!

 

The dead don't pay taxes.

 

Freeloading scum!!!!!

 

They don't realise they're born these days.

 

The dead don't drink beer.

 

Better make sure you pay your taxes and drink shedloads of beer to stay alive!

Also the dead don't breathe either, but it's too late for them now.

 

The dead don't play music either. No sax or piano for them.

 

These dead people are really starting to piss me off. There should be some kind of law against death. In fact I'm going to phone the police right now!!!!

 

So carrying on playing is another thing I'll have to add to the list of things to do to stay alive.

The dead don't go to watch football matches, but that's ok because I'm there week in week out.

 

The dead don't model clothing.

 

Also the dead don't put on weight - so the answer is to become a really fat bastard.

 

Sounds one hell of a lot easier to be dead to me.

I mean, who wants to spend their lives breathing?? come on...

 

Excellent idea.

Everyone top themselves on the count of three.

1...2...3!


(suckers)

 

Dead people stink worse than cat shit.

 

So take a shower everyday. Maybe even three times a day to stay alive and clean.