want a relationship with my current FB?

hey all, i've been doing more the friendly stuff with one of my friends, so she is like a girlfriend, except she's not really, and a month ago she got with 3 guys at a party and then promised not to do it again coz she felt bad, but now she has again, because a friend who was there also just told me that she got with another guy and gave him a blowjob 4 nights ago. i really want a relationship with her but i don't know what to do, and how can i get her to stop getting with other guys? she has even said that she doesn't like herself for doing it and she feels like she's mistreating me, please help. Thanks

 

DONT BE A ****!!
dude wake up!

go find 50 other chicks and fuck them, dont waste your time "waiting" for her, cos while u wanking at home waiting for her to realise you the love of her life, she'd have already fucked 10000 guys and have a hole the size of washington...

wake up!

 

So what are you getting out of being in any type of relationship with her?

 

sounds like you are taking it personal......maybe you should deal with your own issues before giving out your so called wise advise.......

 

Dude, think about what you're saying here. Why would you want a "relationsip" with a girl who goes around fucking all sorts of guys? I don't know about you...but I sure as hell wouldn't go for that...

 

no dude, i was in a similair situation when i was in school, i chased this one girl for 2 years...while she did her own stuff with other guys...I actually regret it 'cos i lost valuable years...

so that why i got so pissed...

 

Don't walk away, RUN RUN

 

There is absolutely nothing you can do. She doesn't like herself for doing it but continues to do so anyway -- that indicates that she has some major personal issues that she needs to work through before she should even think about getting into a relationship. She will probably continue down this path for a while, until something triggers within her own mind that she needs to work on herself. Then, she will need a long while alone -- not dating, not fucking, just being herself -- to work through these issues.

There is no way for you to get into a relationship with her right now and NOT get hurt. Probably badly.

You cannot fix this.

 

ok...first of all - she has not had sex with anyone, when i say "got with" i mean all she did was kissing, and some fondling, nothing serious

second of all - something has "clicked" in her, she is a really nice and awesome person, and wants to change to stop her becoming wat she doesn't want to be (a slut), and since then only kissed and fondled/got fondled by one guy when she was drunk at a party

thirdly - we've done anal, and she's going on the pill soon so we can have vaginal sex also, we're just waiting for her next period, and yes, if she had sex with someone else - anal or vaginal - then i WOULD be wasting my time, i am not stupid, please do not patronise me.

i will talk to her more about it and maybe suggest some things, i've already suggested not talking to some of the people that just see her as a thing, and dont really like her for who she is, but if she has sex with anyone else then im giving up....

and one more thing - WTF is wrong with wanting to be in love with a girl, where the love is reciprocal, instead of just being "fuck buddies"? i am a good guy, all i want is to find a girl that i can love, who will love me back and not be promiscuous, my current "fuck buddy" is both of those things, as we have a deep connection, which is getting stronger by the day, i really like who she is (except for her current promiscuousness, she is still a virgin tho remember), and i could see us in love with each other at some point in the future, and she doesn't want to be a slut, she wants to change to be a better person, i merely want to help her do this, and help her feel more sure of herself and who she is.

 

dude you said "got with" which we took as had sex with...which is what it means.....and making out with guys at a party does not make her a slut

but just because she is sleeping with you does not mean she veiws you as a potential BF ...or she would not be out there "making out" with other guys...you are her fuck buddy until she finds the right guy

and it sounds like you are setting yourself up for disappointment over this whole thing.....sorry

this is one of the reasons why fuck buddies do not work as one partner develops an attachment and the whole thing becomes complicated...........

 

First off, those two statements do not mesh... If you've had anal sex, how do you claim to have never had sex???

What is wrong with kids today who think they are still virgins if they've had a dick in every hole but their vagina???

Nobody said there is anything wrong with that.

That is the problem.

I am speaking from the perspective of having been that promiscuous girl. Been there, done that. All the while, I wanted to find someone to love me. I wanted the relationship. BUT, no matter how I tried, no relationship worked out...

Why?

Because I needed to work on myself. Nobody could help me. Especially not anyone who started out as a fuckbuddy (someone who was still in that fucked up category as a relationship that started out based on sex).

If you want to help her, become her friend. Stop being someone who wants her body. Because, no matter how much you talk about loving her, you are already in that category because you started out there. But, of course that option doesn't sound as appealing cuz then you don't get laid...

 

sorry, "vaginal virgin"

nothing, i'm sorry for the misunderstanding

if it wasn't me as her primary "guy" she would just find someone else at the momeny, i would rather be her primary guy (not just another guy that she makes out with) than just her friend and have someone else fill my position....i guess it comes to the question, do u think it's worth risking my current "whatever"-ship with her, and having her get another guy to fill my position, for a chance of actually being her boyfriend? (because as u said - i can't change her - she has to do it by herself, so i will either stay the fuckbuddy, be a friend and have her replace me or be her boyfriend)

i do not love her, i would "like to love her", i really like her as a person and not just for what she looks like, i like her for who she is and could really love her

i feel like just telling her that i do want a relationship with her but im worried that it could potentially ruin wat we do have...and i don't think i could take just being her friend

 

You must remember that love cannot be one-sided. She must love you too. Remember, a non-committed relationship usually is what it is. If it is meant to be it will be...... maybe you should just ask her of her feelings instead of communicating only with your bodies.

Honestly, I think you are too young to be engaging in such matters, but I am not here to judge anybody.

Whatever may become out of your sitation, you will definately learn something whether it is good or bad.

 

yes, i do remember that, thank you for clarifying that, and yes i have decided that i will just see how things go for a week or so, then talk about how i feel with her

What "matters" are you referring to that you think I am too young for?

If you are referring to love - I have already experienced it once during my year-long relationship last year, during which I felt all three stages of love, as it is scientifically known - lust was first, then attraction, then attachment/commitment, and I have to admit it was like an addiction, a constant high, love knows no age.

If you are referring to sex - I'm legally an adult and can do anything in 5 months, and I've been of legal consenting age for sex for a year and 7 months now. The only thing I'm technically not legally allowed to do right now is go to pubs, clubs, look at porn, and vote, however when I'm 18 in 5 months, nothing will be out of reach.

 

Nothing at all is wrong with this. When you want to have this kind of relationship though you don't do it with the girl that "you are the primary" man for but not the only. It sounds like you are going to be defensive with anybody who tells you it is not a good idea. You can take it or leave it but this is not the kind of girl you look for when you want a long term monogamous relationship. This is the kind of girl you have fun with and try not to get attached. How do you know that she didn't do anything but "fondle" these other guys? She is doing more then that with you but restrains herself with other guys? Not likely. You sound like the type of person who needs a monogamous relationship and you probably are not going to find it with her. So the advice will run towards the "find a girl you like for what she is, not try to change one into being what you need". It doesn't work out like that usually and not discounting you because you are young but you will pick up these life lessons as you go. This may just be the relationship where you learn that.

 

I trust her because she has told me that she's made out with other guys etc. before, and I shall continue to trust her until she does something that I find out about that she has lied to me about. I think I do need a monogamous relationship and I know what you mean about her not fitting that category of appropriate partners for such a relationship, but I still must try, because if I do not I know that my brain will be kicking me later and I will feel bad regardless. She did ask me "Do you really like me?" at one stage, indicating that she might have changed her mind about not wanting a relationship at the moment, however I don't want to get my hopes up too much so I'm going to just continue as normal and talk to her about it in a few days.

 

hhmmm....i am getting more like surprised that you have feelings for her while she does not have the same for you....