A whole other wierd story-bet ya can't beat this one.

The bigfoot post got me thinking about my nutty neighbor. He was absolutely one of a kind. We were all a bunch of hippys living on old farms in an abandoned community on a back road in WV. There were almost 30 abandoned old home places, an empty church (still could ring the bell til someone stole the rope) and we inhabited just a few of some of the farms. So, there is this guy, CRAZY DUANE. (God love ya if you are out there Duane.)
Anyhow, he lived up and down the road with his cows, like the wandering herdsman. He kept up the roofs of some of the better houses and barns, and he just lived everywhere, or anywhere he wanted. He broke two of his cows to pull a wagon. He slept with those cows, got down on all fours and grazed with them, sucked on their titties for milk, and I don't really what to think about what all else....
He stunk. He had barrels full of all sorts of clothes, but he rarely ever changed or washed them. He ate lots of garlic and you could smell him coming. He could fart backwards! He showed me... More than once....
He only had to be introduced to you once, and the next time you saw him he might be in your bathtub or your bed when you got home from town. Or fixing a meal in your kitchen. He sang all the time. Opera. Had a great voice. He sang walking up and down the road. He sang on someones truck hood in the middle of town on the street corner. He sang at the grocery store. He would eat anything. He ate dog food and rotten milk, compost out of the neighbors compost bucket. Moldy cheese. He was at the food co-op and someone spilled some honey. He licked it off the floor and tried to lick her leg off too, but she wouldn't let him. He was at a party and someone spilled popcorn. He got down on all fours and ate it like a dog.
He liked being a nudist. (He was built like a body builder, dark tanned and handsome like Elvis, but with a beard) Anyhow, he didn't give a darn who came along and saw him, including a van full of mental patients on a field trip...
He skinned out a dead dog once and make a head dress out of it and wore it until it started to rot. Looked WICKED on him, naked, but made him smell worse than usual... He was hoping to attract a female bigfoot to make babys with......
He wandered the neighborhood with his cows and nothing on in the summer. Well, my mom was living in the neighborhood for a while, and she got mad at him and marched out there one day and stopped him in the road and stated that SHE didn't want to have to look at his naked body! So he started wearing boxer shorts, ON HIS HEAD. He would take them off his head and put them on "right" when he came near moms house, but soon as he passed, he put them back on his head. (She stopped him one other day and he ended up in the house, them doin' "other" things, and I guess she forced herself to look at him naked once more, but that's another story...)
He got so he wore those boxers on his head EVERYWHERE. Even to Christmas dinner at his families house. It was his trademark.
Well, eventually he found a female who would put up with him for a time, made babies, one of which was born in a dirty old hillbillies shack, and one of which he tried to throw away in a trash can. The neighbors shot most of his cows because they destroyed everybodies gardens, and the bull played with the neighbor ladies outhouse for an hour with her trapped inside. Crazy Duane eventually took to drink, which made him totally insane. But that's ANOTHER story. In and out of jail, living in homeless shelters, he even taught living history in a community college! But the thing that really got to me was the way he killed chickens...... Ya can't stump break a chicken, Duane!

And, no, I didn't make any of this stuff up.

 

wow i would liek to hear more stories about him!!

 

Whoa,, sounds like a TRUE Freak Id love to meet him