I'm not sure what my sexual orientation is, can someone help me?

Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by hgh238, Sep 1, 2006.

  1. hgh238

    hgh238 Member

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    Here it goes: I have always like women and their bodies as me being a guy. But lately, more like the past couple of years, I have been noticing guys a lot and really seeing the beauty in them, all around.

    For instance if I look at a crowd of people I look straight for the good looking guys instead of the women. And this is strange because I am sexually attracted to women but I find guys to have a certain level of beauty about them.

    So I started to think I was bisexual but I'm not even sure about that because I don't really have a sexual attraction to guys but there is something about a good looking guy that has me confused. Can anyone give me any advice on my issue, thanks.
     
  2. amp7325

    amp7325 Visitor

    A lot of people go through this, and the result is a mix - some turn out gay, some straight, some bi, etc. etc. It's not a big deal, trust me.

    Wait it out. Don't look to label who you are quite yet, if at all.

    How old are you, by the way? Sorry if that seems like a creepish question, but I mean if you're like between the ages of 13 and.... 19 (???) don't worry... you have plenty of time to figure it out. Well I guess that goes for any age, but especially if you're young.
     
  3. hgh238

    hgh238 Member

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    I'm 18. And yes I hope that its just a temporary thing but only time will tell as you said.
     
  4. I also have feelings of "attraction" towards men which have caused me to question my sexuality, however when ever I become close enough to the idea of touching or doing anything sexual to a guy, I get pretty turned off, if not repulsed. I am not close minded or afraid of homosexuality, I just don't think i'm quite gay enough.

    You could be like me, or not, just be open to what you feel and question your feelings without any sense of what other people think is wrong or right. You'll understand yourself eventually. :)
     
  5. amp7325

    amp7325 Visitor

    Yeah, everyone's different. Only a small percent of the population is either completely straight or completely gay. It's just that people categorize themselves so quickly that they never really let their sexuality develop.
     
  6. erzebet1961

    erzebet1961 Senior Member

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    You arent Ab-Normal....in fact..you are quite well grounded in that you are able to admit to what you are feeling without totally freaking out !!!.....I honestly think you will be ok and find what will make you happy a lot easier than most.
    peace
     
  7. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    agreed and you say that your not sexually attracted, at this stage you could be looking at other men like role models, some women check each other out, it not a sexual thing, its tips on how to get the 'look' they want, or sometimes its competative 'she looks great, how can I look better!!'
    ok it may develope into a sexual thing we shouldn't count that out, but it may only be a matter of you trying to learn ways that you can look better, if your looking at the best looking men, then maybe you just want to look like them!

    sad thing is if you where a woman you would be going and asking for tips, but society doesn't really allow that with two men
    S
     
  8. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    or it could be art-brain developing as well. you see certain males as esthetically pleasing, like works of art.
     
  9. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    hey I have 'art brain' for women, theres a name for everything these days!
    S
     
  10. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    art brain is also my excuse when I forget to do something. It's all purpose.
    Really, society needs to collectively get over who sleeps with whom....
    my preference is to be monogamous with a man. So what if someone else wants to be monogamous with another woman, a woman and a male, whatever?
    isn't sexual life supposed to be a BIT veiled from the public, because it is special and personal?
     
  11. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    or by the same token, maybe society would get over itself with its hang ups about sexuality if it was less veiled.
    it saddens me how many people post here confused and upset because they might be gay, cause it proves that in many ways society still has a long way to go- but who's surprised at that?
    S
     
  12. hgh238

    hgh238 Member

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    I just have one more question and that is when you are gay most people know it when your very young right because they know that women aren't for them right? Isn't this the typical sign? Because I always liked womens bodies and was sexually attracted to them but I also questioned my sexuality a number of times when I was very young, maybe 11 or 12. Thats another reason why I am confused because I was never a sure thing.
     
  13. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    I think you need to chill, like we have already said theres no hard and fast rules with any of this, if there was then there proabaly wouldn't be the amount of people visiting this place
    S
     
  14. erzebet1961

    erzebet1961 Senior Member

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    You really need to let go of whatever this fear is you are feeling or else you might just scare yourself into something that is NOT you and have many years of un- happiness...many people do this , and think that it is society at fault..when it was themselves that cut short their own happiness..let go of the questions and go with your feelings .........
     
  15. dances in pajamas

    dances in pajamas strange little girl

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    You shouldn't worry so much. You can think men are beautiful and not want to do anything sexual with them at the same time. No one can decide your sexual orientation for you. And some people live half their lives until they realize that they're much happier with the same sex, happier than they ever were with the opposite. When you're a kid, you obviously are interested in any naked body. It's curiosity. Like the wise erzbet says, go with your feelings. Stop pondering what can't be figured out with just your brain.
     
  16. mrpwonder

    mrpwonder Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    Just relax dude and let it happen. go for each experence..
     
  17. amp7325

    amp7325 Visitor

    Haha, four posts in a row, each with the basic message of "dude, chill out." Awesome. :p

    In all seriousness though, I only realized that I was gay this year. Some people realize it when they're 10, some when they're 30, some even older or younger. It's all normal. Just let it happen.
     
  18. VertuHost

    VertuHost Member

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    This is really an awesome forum... I've been reading posts by everybody, and people seem very insightful. Anyway, don't worry about labels... I am 34 and have been in a relationship with a male for 12 years. I came out to my mom at 13, and grew up pretty normally, with dating at the correct age, etc. It is best to try to overcome the negative images shown in on tv and other biased media. Find yourself and don't worry about what to call it. If you look at studies and the normal curve, ~10% of people are completely straight, ~10% of people are completely gay, and everybody else is somewhere in between. Also, which is confusing for some people to deal with, sexual attraction and emotional attraction can be opposite, but it is best when they aren't.

    Christopher
     
  19. btbam2

    btbam2 Member

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    im going through the same thing. i've come to accept the fact that i'm bisexual. i know what you mean about how guys have a certain beauty about them.
     

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