Treating her like shit

dont change

 

Don't change for her, you sound like a nice guy yourself. Just move on and find someone who will appreciate you for what you are.

 

i hate this mentality. why can't people be part of a solution and learn to respect each other mutually instead of blaming one gender or another on problems with love? shit, people suck mutually, male or female. what needs to really happen is that people need to stop being assholes and using manipulation and control techniques. women AND men are both guilty of this, and then they like to point fingers and blame each other for why relationships don't work out. it's STUPID.

 

I think that in this world there are some girls who are 'yes, let's get married', a series of 'maybe you could be interesting one day', and the rest of them are 'no fucking way in hell'. She sounds like a 'maybe', and they're the worst... because you never really know... and you keep hoping for more.

If you settle, you will hate yourself-- it's that simple. You can tell yourself whatever you want, but it will always be horrible. If this is bothering you and she's not willing to do something about it, then just forget it and deal with it. You're not going to get anywhere if you're thinking about what she wants and not thinking about what you want. If you want a nice, supporting relationship then you should come out and say that... and if she thinks that's ridiculous, then she sucks.

Sounds like she's manipulating you into giving her what she wants... and sometimes dumping someone is a good way to re-assert yourself. Better yet, act like you're going to date her then don't. I did that once, and it was because I felt like this girl was trying to tell me who I was and what was going on and was becoming like this horrible dark shadow over everything... I just acted really passive and went along with it until one day I told her I couldn't do it because she'd slept with too many guys. She felt horrible, but I felt great... more than that, I was free of her stupid bullshit. I suppose I should have been honest, but sometimes it's more fun not to be. I'm not like that anymore, because now I'd never go near anyone like that, but it was a good experience. You have to do it, and do it for yourself... because sometimes you need it!

 

Which farm did you find that bullshit from?

 

Right, women don't want to be dominated. It is not just a man's world anymore. We are making more money than men in some cases. We like to be taken care of, but not all like to be dominated. I am the breadwinner in my relationship and I make a great deal of the decisions.If he doesn't like it, he knows he could leave. I like when he says, "you do still want to spend the rest of your life with me don't you?" I know I am doing something right then

 

I would never treat a girlfriend like shit. She wouldnt to me either because i wouldnt go out with her in the first place if she was like that.
I guess there is someone for everyone, some people like to be dominated and some dont.

 

Sometimes a woman is just begging to be put in her place & she wants a real man to do it. Step up to the plate.

 

I know what your saying. Some girls like it when violence comes in.

 

They like to brag about it to there friends.

 

maybe some women DO want to be dominated, i'm not denying that there are some, but there are just as many men who secretly want that as well. i can tell you this, you males who are so sure that a woman wants to be put "in her place": none of you ARE women, so you have no room to say what a woman wants, desires, or feels. i can't say i know how a man feels about something, because i'm not male. so until we evolve to the point where we can all communicate telepathically and read each other's minds, let's not fucking generalize and claim we know what's in someone else's head, okay?

personally, my theory is that all of humanity is fucked up due to many different factors in our various cultures, and that people in general like to generate drama. why? because we are taught, maybe not intentionally, that the only way to get attention, the only way to make waves, to be acknowledged, is to create madness and chaos, surround ourselves with it, until we have something "interesting" going on around us. often the way we do this is to attempt to manipulate loved ones into the reaction we desire by means that are less than kind.

instead of people just loving and respecting one another, we have created this ulterior motive to loving relationships where each partner has something to "gain" from the other, and we have to manipulate each other to death to get what we want. to me this begs the question: have we as a species distanced ourselves so much from our primal roots that instead of just enjoying love, we use it as a way to get something from someone? to me, that seems the case. and if that is the case, it's a sad state of affairs.

personally, i can name several times in my lifetime where i've witnessed two people who claim to be in love using that same love to get something for themselves. i'm sure at some point i've been guilty of it myself (it's so deeply endoctrinated into our cultures, most of the time we don't even know we're doing it). i'm hoping one day to find someone who has had enough of the bullshit and the manipulation. i just want to end up with a good person, someone who has a big heart, a creative and open mind, and respects and loves life. i want to meet someone who would with me try to break the habit of manipulation over other humans. someone like that would have me in the palm of their hand. seriously.

please don't lump all females together saying we're all one way. not all women are the same, and neither are all men. there are still good people who aren't about the manipulation and bullshit, aren't about who's better than who, or who has more dominance in the relationship.

in my ideal relationship, there is no "upper hand" partner. both have an upper hand and a good grasp on life, and man the sails as a team.

 

I certainly wasn't saying that were are all alike. The majority of women enjoy lots of drama, especially if there's a crowd around. And the good girls are never taken seriously.

 

i wouldn't even say a majority neccessarily does - it's just that those women who DO like all the drama are so into it that it makes the rest of us look bad and gives men the idea that we're all like that. 6 billion of us on this planet, and it takes all kinds i guess.

 

I dont know what i did but now i got her talking about getting married, and shes saying she might be pregnant. oh boy. i will just take this one day at a time. Hey, atleast she is not being a bitch anymore!

Too late!, joking.

 

Ummm... insanejester, I've noticed you're 19, which explains your attitude. When I was 19, I could never find a girl... I guess because I had a strategy instead of being honest, and it was a bad one. I didn't realize that nobody wants to fall in love when they're 19!!! I didn't either, but I was afraid of being honest about that so I acted like I did and it got me nowhere.

You don't have to be a jerk, you just have to be realistic about things, and what you need and what you want, because chances are they want and need the same things. I think if I could do it over again I'd just come out and tell them I'm not looking for any sort of long-term commitment but really want to experiment sexually... because I think it would go over and lot better. But that's really hard to say when you're 19.

I mean, chances are these girls are just finishing high school and have spent most of their lives in the same place doing the same thing over and over, and mostly they've never been all that independent. So when they get independent, they don't want to end up in a relationship where someone is going to depend on them or they're going to depend on someone else. Nobody wants tie themselves down before they get a chance to experience things.

But eventually, I think this desire goes away... either because they feel like they're losing their looks or they just can't do it anymore. For some people it goes on like that indefinitely, but most girls settle down some time in their mid-late twenties, I think... at which point it is often the case that any nice guy will do... well, as long as he's not totally boring or a big loser or anything. So you just have to be there at the right time, I suppose.

This might sound cold or unfair, but to be honest, nobody knows what they want when they're 19... they usually only know that they still need to experience things. If you can offer that to a 19 year old, then that will be enough. Actually, that pretty much holds true to everyone, I think... but 18-22 year olds especially.

 

You have absolutely no idea just how right you are.

 

I think... at which point it is often the case that any nice guy will do... well, as long as he's not totally boring or a big loser or anything. So you just have to be there at the right time, I suppose.

Ugh! All this talk of nice guys. Be a nice guy and every chick will walk all over you, spend your money, shatter your ego, leave you with nothing but humiliation, depression and a jar of vasiline! Don't cha wanna get em in the sack?

bustramp

 

What a stupid thing to say.
If a guy doesnt dominate his girlfriend, he is called a "nice guy" right?
Well what if you have a guy who treats his girlfriend right, and will only raise his voice to her if she does to him. Thats not dominating, thats just standing up for yourself. She wont walk all over him and he wont dominate her.
Also, this paragraph shows how stupid you are:

Ugh! All this talk of nice guys. Be a nice guy and every chick will walk all over you, spend your money, shatter your ego, leave you with nothing but humiliation, depression and a jar of vasiline! Don't cha wanna get em in the sack?


A "nice guy" wouldnt even be with a girl who would walk all over him, he would find someone who is just "nice" like himself.

 

Let me just add that im not getting walked on here....most of the time i will give her the same treatment back but i'm still a nice guy. Right now things are fixed and the future is good.

 

Thats exactly what i mean. God theres a bunch of complete faggots on this forum.