Two months ago, I dumped the father of my child before I knew that I was pregnant. Both him and his family are aware, yet the only one who will speak to me is his younger sister. In fact, she seems to be the family’s spokesperson. What I find amusing is that his family claims, if he does not have visitation rights, they will take me to court over the issue. If they honestly want their son to play an active role in his child’s life, then why is it that neither him or them dare say a word to me? Furthermore, if he was so interested in his child, himself, then when does he actually plan on speaking to me about this matter? Sure, our break up may have been bitter, but that certainly is not an excuse in regards to our current situation.
sorry you are going through that. Maybe with time he will wake up and realize he does want to be a part of yours and the kids lives, and he will start treating you in a way that could allow for that to happen.
That kind of sucks. But it's pretty common in custody cases. As much as I empathize with your situation, it's really unfortunate that there are so many kids being born into families where there isn't a more stable two-parent home.
I agree.. and the reality of the situation is that, like many couples, we were under the assumption that it would be, "forever". However, this is life, not some childish fairy tale, and in the real world, things rarely work out as planned. In the past, the two of us had made one another a promise (not quite a handfast) and we were trying to conceive. During the end of our relationship, things turned sour and promises were broken within the blink of an eye. I freely admit that we were both to blame. However, it’s time to grow up. It is kind of hard to hide behind your parents when you are no longer a child. Then again, his seventeen year old sister has always been able to fair well, regardless of her disability. Thus, he is merely spoiled, plain and simple. For someone who sure had high hopes in life and never once thought she would find herself in this predicament, I've sure shocked many.
The good news is that the father and I finally had a discussion. The bad news is that half of the discussion was based on our break up (every conversation we have had since I broke up with him, tends to be based on what happened... it gets old after awhile). I am concerned for the child's well being, not our personal issues. Adoption was initially my first choice, however, his family seems to feel that the idea is ludicrous and he would certainly try to fight me in court. I did a bit of research on the topic, and apparently, he can.
It sounds like his family will force him to take responsibility even if he doesn't want that responsibility.. And I bet they would do it collectively if they had to.. Just the father part I mean.. Family is a sometimes an odd concept.... Bloodline feuds are as ancient as tribal identity and the law in most countries seem to be aware of this without even realising it... Individuals, and the wellbeing of infants doesn't seem to be the most important considerations..
Actually, he wants to take responsibility. The mere thought of not taking an active role in his child's life angers him, which is why the thought of adoption is driving him over the edge. I have many concerns, and the biggest is that this child will end up a pawn for him and his family to use against me. In the end, he became very controlling (He tried to tell me how to dress, who/who not to speak with, accused me of betraying him if I did not answer the phone right away, or if I was gone too long). At one point, his family and I use to be quite close. However, I do not feel that their home would provide a healthy environment. From a psychological standpoint, a broken home can have quite a drastic influence on a child, and with the two of us at odds, it seems to me that his family would be more than content in forcing this child to choose sides.
Wow! Well first, Hi! I haven't seen you around in a really long time. I am sorry about your situation. Maybe you can write him a letter or something, this really shouldn't be decided by his family, it's between you and him. I don't understand why he needs visitation rights, if he could just talk with you about coming over and helping with your child. Or am I not understanding this correctly? I do hope you get things sorted out in the less dramatic way, possible.
Yes ofcourse he has rights to see his child as he has rights to pay half of all the expenses too. Forget about his sister and get his ass into court so child support can be set up for yur child. Its good you are putting the child first-your crap with each other does not matter now. What does matter is you BOTH created a child-now you BOTH need to put that child first in EVERYTHING in your lives. The court is there to insure all that too.
It's good to be back at Hippyland! I had a full plate with work and school full time, and the rest of my moments were spent with loved ones. The issue is pretty much the fact that him and I ended on a very bitter note, and we are not close at all. I would prefer supervised visitations, as opposed to allowing the child to go between my home and his. I suppose it just boils down to the fact that he is a very stubborn guy and he feels the need for everything to be his way. Him coming over to visit his child would be fine with me. Thank you, Honey ~ It's good to see you! I agree, Drew, he certainly will be paying child support!
That's good.. But there are two lives he will have an active role in, and even though I don't know you, I'm afraid for you.. That your own life will suffer..
Thank you, lanky, I feel the same way. Letting go of him was a great release, and the rediscovery of my freedom. I now feel as though he has won, and I am to be tied to him, in some way, forever.
Yes you will since you both have had a child together. I have the same situation with my ex who is the mother of my three children. We broke up over 10 years ago. It took many years of hard work and being mature adults to get to a point where the past does not matter. What does matter is our children we both brought into this world. If you put the kids first the rest is easy.
So your way past wtf ya fucking with no protection, but patience goes along way and time also solves alot of issues. We all do what we think is right at the time. Im not saying the dude shouldnt step up, maybe he will in his own time. If not then fuekem in court, your trippin, maybe he is too.
