This is far worse thyan sibling fighting.

:$ My sister is 12 and 21. She swares, and is nasty towards me. If i swore, and acted out like that, when I was around her age I would be punished. She doesn't. This total abuse. She physically abused me, and if i layed a finger on her I was in deep shit. That is a huge part of the reason I moved out. She still is abusing me, when I visit.:$ What do I do? Will this last forever? What is going on between us makes me wantr to cry.

 

You are 21. And you think the fact that your sister isn't punished is abusive to you?
You say that she abuses you when you visit. Does that mean that she hits you or that she says mean things? If she hits you, and nothing is done to stop it, don't visit. If she says mean things, don't take her out for pizza.

She is a 12 year old kid, you are a 21 year old woman. Yes, things will change. She will grow up. Until then, she will be a monster commonly called a teenager. How nasty a monster she will be, I don't know.

 

Find a really bad ass girl close to her age to kick the living crap out of her, then tell her to be nice or you will have it done again.

 

Sounds like a 12 year old and a 13 year old REGULAR sibling fighting.What's the disconnect here?

I'm sorry you feel like you want to cry. Talk to your mother, NOT saying "I would have gotten in a lot more trouble than she does if I had.....blah blah blah blah." Parents hear so much of this self aborbed shit that we just turn off. Talk to your mom about wanting to get along with her and then BE the adult and don't bait her, or do things to make things worse. I know, because my 18 year old has similar complaints about her 6 year old sister. Thing is, I KNOW it is just teenage self absorption, and that the 18 year old needs to grow up more. not act more like her sister's age......

If you really think it is "more" than regular sibling fighting (and it sounds JUST like that to me) then talk to your mother about counseling.......for the entire family. Rarely, if ever, is a family problem ONE person alone.

 

You are lucky you have the option to see your sister.

 

i hardly get to see my sister and we've never had a relationship/friendship... in a couple yrs she'll grow out of that stage

 

If she's physically abusive, don't go and see her, and if she's verbally abusive tell her you won't accept it and leave. Don't worry about talking to your parents etc I think you 2 ca n sort it out by yourselves. You are older than her so don't engage with her.