The Whispered Notions of the Faint We shall not cease to be among the rows and columns split by the idle river pushed by the thunder of human currents alone in death we march to the banks with the withered eye spectacles of fiery youth In their eyes I see bubbling laugh ocean swim pools of delicious raindrop petals until the insects of summer slice through the air like chainsaws buzzing and twirling and the people dripped in shadow spread out like ink on paper across the horizon diappear into the red dust sunset as the solemn birds flap about the silent whispers will cease and the weak bones of death will be carried to the lonesome shore let me know what you think
Very nice images, very vivid. It also has a thread of meaning which is woven through it nicely. I guess my suggestion would be to work more toward having the images be secondary to the meaning so that they directly support the meaning of the poem. Nice job, though, a good read.
