allright, i wanna be honest to someone finally... i am dating a girl and weve been together for at least a year...we have this weird relationship that used to be just us as friends then turned a little closer and then sexual and now i guess we're together...i love her to death, i really do, i just cant say im in love with her...on top of this, im a total advocate of free love but the sad things i cant even indulge in it. we have our problems...we both get jealous (im trying to work on letting it go) but she gets kind of crazy, weve broken up and got back together a couple times...im too afraid to leave her because i also have some weird attachment problems...i get horribly depressed at the thought of her having what we have with someone else...but im also a hypocrite because on top of all this stupid shit i have a raging wild sex drive... i am in love with women, i want to have them all, experience them all, whether its serious or not...its such a unique and weird and inconvenient feeling. i wish i could be celibate but its impossible. i dont feel like she will ever understand this, much less try it herself...its just such a weird relationship and a weird pridicament. we're both going to college in two weeks which wont make it better... i really dont know what to do, im not in love with her, but i care for her so much and i dont want to hurt her, i told her i would never cheat on her, and i wont..i wish i could let it all go, let her go, and have her be ok but it wont be like that. breaking up with her was awful and i just get real depressed... for more antics i have stopped taking my anti depressants, im sick of em, and i want a life without em, but its not making my situation any better. absence of those pills makes me horny nearly all the time... help
Okay the first thing you need to do is go back on your medication, while you may think you are better off without them, I am willing to bet that no one close to you feels the same way. You may not see it, but without your meds, you are probably very difficult to deal with. Next, if you do not love this girl then why are you so desprate to hang onto her and why are you jealous of her having relationships with other men ? If you don't love her as you say, you need to break up with her immeadiatly so that both of you can move on. With you both leaving for college, this is the perfect time to break up.
I'm gonna add a little more compassion to this thread... In fact, I wish threads of this nature were more common since I'm sure I and the poster aren't the only one's who feel this way. You're NOT "just a crazy mixed up kid", but you are depressive, like myself. On top of it, societal pressures regarding sex and relationships make it much harder to deal with depression. Average male-female relationships just aren't very healthy at all. Take your medication, first of all. I quit it for a little bit and I saw what a bottomless pit looks like: I became a spiraling alcoholic. I drank my rent, etc. I also want to have many, many women in this life, though for that to happen by definition, women would have to have many, many men. And that is the conundrum, we want to eat the cake and have it too, all of us. There's probably a biological element to jealousy. BUT what we do with jealousy can vary. It doesn't follow that because you're jealous, you need to own this woman's body. It does not follow that because she performs a physical act with another man, that she won't still lend you emotional support, friendship and affection. I would meditate on two things: 1. desire is best enjoyed without attatchment to it; it seems like a paradox and it is, but enjoying something without getting hooked on it is perhaps one of the most liberating and healthy experiences humans can have. Unless you are rich or work in the porn industry or something, you're simply NOT going to have as many women as you'd like. It's that simple. There is comfort in thinking that beautiful women are still out there, that they exist, even though you may not possess them all; 2. I would invest in a genuine friendship with this girl, that goes beyond ownership of each other's sexuality. Have you discussed your post with her yet? Have the courage. It's a first step. If the relationship ends you'll ail for a little while but you'll recover. So long as you take your meds and know how to enjoy life's little things without attatchment, each moment, for their own sake.
who said i didnt love her? im not in love with her, and there is a difference...whats it matter...were both in college now and she broke up with me for good 20 minutes ago...there is not much i can do about it now now the thought of her tears me apart, even just thinking of her face she said its silly to be together for petty things such as not wanting each other to have someone else, or to be together because were sad when were apart...and i agree, but god damned, it hurts bad
I'm sorry she broke it off... If you love her, you should've told her that. Maybe she's doing this because she doesn't want to deal with her feelings anymore, like the jealousy. I'm sure it's hurting her too.
i know it is, i dont know what to do now. not many things hold me back in this world, but love is quite different, its the only thing that gets me truly down...
