I currently have this really great friend... but it's also something more, because we really care about each other and I've never felt this close to another person ever in my life and she says the same thing about me... and we totally understand each other, which is also very rare I think... we've talked about absolutely everything, but more than that, we know exactly what to say to each other when we're down or confused, and it makes everything better! We both agree that everyone else in the world is just not as important, and even though we're both kind of tempermental, somehow we've never ever fought about anything ever! But it's also very hard because our relationship is based mostly on about a month of being together in a different country (during which the sparks were so intense that they seemed to bend time and space all around us), then keeping in contact online... and we're still far apart, because of money and jobs and school and the fact that we're from different countries to begin with-- stuff like that... it doesn't seem to be much of a problem as far as how much we care about each other, or that magical effect we have on each other! Also, I can get a visa to work in her country quite easily, though I like my job now because it's easy and I'm making good money. So my big plan is I'm going to save up enough to move over there at the beginning of next year and work, though it won't be as much money... which won't be a problem if I have savings, because I'll just live off of my job earnings and then go to school as planned when I'm back in my home country (going to school abroad is really expensive, so I won't be able to do it there!) So I suppose if you've had the patience to read all of that, you're probably wondering what the problem is, then, right? I guess I'm wondering if I should just forget about the money I'm making now and go over there now... which I'm seriously considering, because I miss her so much it's making me insane... I think about her every morning and every night, and then she's in my mind during the day as well, though not as prominently because I have to work. I suppose if I really planned it out and budgeted, then I might be able to do it... and even though it's nice where I am, it's not like I'm going to be leaving behind anything I care about. But at the same time, I'd totally hate it if I ended up not being able to go to school or go anywhere better in life. But I suppose that I could end up doing well anyway... I mean, who knows???? Sorry... this was a rant. But hey... if you read it, thanks a lot... and your advice will be appreciated!!!
I am in a distance relationship myself and all I can say is GO FOR IT regardless of what people say! You will have doubters, but ironically, the doubters are usually the least in the know. I have been away from my gf for about 8-9 weeks. even if you don't move over there, plan a trip. my gf is comin in ten days! I will be going to france right after x mas for 3 weeks and want to plan another trip for late may early june. after that she will plan something. just always have something planned to keep the faith. and you will do it!
Id wait for your orignial plan of saving. Itll mean less financial stress when you two get together in the end, and finnacial stress can break some relationships (no not saying itll happen to yours, but its indicative of how big a problem it can be)
Go there now and forget about the money. Make the small decisions with your head and the big ones with your heart. I hope it works out for you guys. Peace
man i know exaclty how you feel i am in the same situation. and it works. if you have love and hop then anything can work. like the old saying goes. where theres a will theres a way. if you can see yourself with her forever go to her. it is the biggest display of love anyone could give.
Guys... thanks a lot! I agree... it's bullshit to worry about money when you love someone, but at the same time, it's also important to feel secure. But I could also easily come back here whenever I wanted if things didn't work out... so it's really a non-issue. So I've come to a compromise and decided that I'm going in November... it's not so far away, and that way I'll even have enough money saved up to help her out while she's at school if she needs it!
Don't make the mistake I made...Years ago I should have gone but I didn't (She had kids and couldn't move without wrecking their lives and going through a court battle). I could have moved but let fear stand in my way. I think I was just too immature. We had something special and I miss it everyday. If I ever get the chance to make it up to her, I'll do it in a heartbeat. Sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith and let life work itself out.
in the end distance kills a relationship (i've been in one so i'm not talking out of the area where the sun doesnt shine) lmfao
If you go what is the worst thing that could happen? It doesn't work out....so what! I drove 1200 miles to be with a man I had known 2 weeks and everyone thought I was crazy for doing it.....now 7 years later we are married and he is my love, my friend, and my life. So, speaking from experience I say GO FOR IT! If it doesn't work out you will survive....and if it turns out great even better....regardless it will be an adventure, and life without adventure is boring!
That's really exciting, His Eden! I guess sometimes you just know... actually, it's made a big difference now that I've set a date. I don't think distance kills a relationship... it's the lack of communication, or being unable to read between the lines, that kind of thing. But we're both really good at expressing ourselves and figuring things out... so it's actually worked quite well! hey spooner, that's the most horrible thing I've heard in a while. Thanks!
speak for yourself and only yourself. your experience does not make it so!! you are limited to only your experience while there is a whole world out there. there will be doubters in many things that we do, and usually these doubters don't want others to suceed where they have failed. maybe you lacked the energy and/or passion/desire to continue on. But that does not give you the right to be a dooms sayer on a story (stories) you know nothing about, with me or anyone else within this thread that believes distance can work. I have seen distance work. more often that not. But that is simply my limited experience and I am not naive enough to go simply on my experience to come to a conclusion on distance. But it gives me confidence seeing successful stories. And...If it didn't work when there was distance, there is a good chance it would have eventually failed when there was none. bring back the good vibes
