OK, before I start, I want to say that I realise asking for this sort of advice on the Internet, no matter what the site, probably isn't the brightest thing to do, but I didn't know who else to turn to! Oh, and I also want to clarify I'm an English girl Right, so me and this guy are sort of going out sort of not, it's complicated, cos basically, we both really like each other, but he's two years older than me (not a problem for me, but I think he's a little bit worried, especially as he's 18 and I'm under 18 ) and we live "too far apart" and don't get to see each other that much, but we talk on msn a lot of the time. Anyway, when I discovered that I might be bi, I thought I should probably tell him, but wanted to see how he'd react first so I told him about something I'd seen scribbled in a text book at school and he said it was bad and everything and we talked about bi people and he wanted to know why I was asking and asked if I was bi and I told him I might be. He said he was too, but whereas I'm trying to find out if I am, he's trying to make himself not be. He's quite supportive, always says if there's anything I need to talk about regarding it he'd be happy to help if he could. However, he did say to me that he thought *by the way, I'm just telling you what he said, I don't agree* lesbians and bi girls are just sex hungry and can't get it from guys and I was a bit annoyed and then he had to go. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got about it. Not angry enough to start yelling at him or anything, but angry enough to make me wish I'd said something at the time. It also occured to me that I hadn't asked why he didn't think the same about gay and bi guys. And, last thing(!), he's on holiday at the moment and when we were texting each other to catch up, he asked if I had worked out "what" I am as opposed to "who" which also kinda got me thinking a bit. So, I don't know what to do about him. Should I talk to him and tell me that it upset me and see what he says, or should I just ditch him in case it happens again or he becomes really homophobic by trying not to be bi if that makes sense? Well, not sure what sort of replies to expect, so I'll leave it to you guys!
"So, I don't know what to do about him. Should I talk to him and tell me that it upset me and see what he says, or should I just ditch him in case it happens again or he becomes really homophobic by trying not to be bi if that makes sense?" Definently tell him how you feel, if he isn't open to your feelings or opinions then maybe he isn't worth dating. Part of being in a relationship is being understanding of the other person, and he is being very judgmental of you especially where he is BI himself.
just be friends at the moment, see if his attitudes are down to prejudice or fearing the unknown, people who are rigid and narrow minded tend to be like that in every area of their lives, so you will know soon enough. if you feel angry a lot around him you should ask yourself if its all worth it S
If he's trying to deny his own sexuality, that's definitely not a good sign. If he doesn't accept yours, that's an even bigger problem. Come right out and talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel about the whole "lesbians and bi girls are more sex-hungry" thing. He just needs to come to terms with his own sexuality, and maybe you can help him with that.
OK, thanks guys, now I just have to try and get him to meet up somewhere cos I don't want to talk about serious problems over msn, makes me feel horrible!
It really seems like he's having some problems of his own with his sexual orientation. His problems and feelings are going to have an effect on whatever he tells you about yours. I'm not convinced that lesbians and bi women are more sex hungry than other women. There are lots of very horny men out there, so a sex hungry bi woman could probably find enough men to satisfy her needs. Besides, this guy is saying they're sex hungry like it's a bad thing. I don't think everyone on this forum would agree.
I get the feeling this guy's going to come out as gay sooner or later. I've met lots of lesbians and bi girls in gay youth and at my university. I'm more sex hungry than all of them. Tell the guy that what he said upset you and why. That's what I'd do. When I came out, I realized that there were a few people I could do without...and I did without them.
