Hi, I'm married for almost 4 years now, I have two kids, I only married cos of my first kid. Dont get me wrong my family is everything to me... Before the baby(when we married), my wife and i were going out for 18months, A few days ago she tells me she never loved me when we go married and she used to recieve calls from her "ex" while we were in our relationship... something died in me...
I hear ya though I loved my wife before we were married and after. Had two kids. Found out she was messing around with a work friend. Something in you definately does die. We have worked through most of our issues from during and before the affair and are now back together. It is never ever the same though. You make it sound like you didn't love her either though. Married just for the first child. Is it the affair part of it that is bothering you are the fact she didn't love you either?
You have a very long and hard road ahead of you. If you put your kids first above anything else while you are on that road-in the end you will arrive at a very special place. You will also meet a very loving and wonderful person on that journey-Your SELF. I bid you Peace and Healing. The Wiz
whats bothering me is the calls...was it just calls...she insists it was just calls...and she dont wanna say wen was the last time she was with hime...she says she cant remember... she says it was just "phone calls", but what do i kno? i love my kids, and will do anything for them!
I read your post again and I noticed you said "she used to recieve calls". Is that past tence or is she still getting these calls from her Ex? What i'm asking is this. Is she a good mother? If these phone calls happened in the past then leave them in the past. Women get calls from men all the time, married or not, it's how you handle the calls that is important. If she's a good mother she's also gonna put the kids first. You can't change the past but you can work on the furture, if you can let go of the past. Remember we all have Ex's and they are Ex's for a reason. Good luck
First off, the only reason for her to tell you about the calls and not loving you is to inflict pain upon you. I can empathize with part of you dying when you heard it, as I have been there. Is there some reason that she would want to hurt you? We don't live in fantasyland and people will hurt each other if they feel that they have themselves been slighted. Second, why in the world must people get married "for the kids"????? I agree with Haid in that it doesn't sound like you loved her either. People really screw up their kids when they stay in a bad relationship "for the kids" because they teach their children that a dysfunctional relationship is "normal" Third, what do you want to happen now? Do you want to work things out? Do you want to get divorced? Whatever you decide to do ALWAYS make sure the kids come first and NEVER use them as pawns to get back at your wife. If all else fails set up an appointment with a therapist and talk things out. Even if it doesn't save your marriage it might help you understand why this happened.
Yep, and in your other thread, you tell us how, prior to August, and then recently, you have been heavily flirting with a co-worker via email, phone, texts, and at work. I'll bet your wife got suspicious and found something, and then in her hurt, she decided to say something that would hurt you. So stop playing the victim. Your just as much to blame for what is happening to you.
i think i know why she said she doesn't love you? Did she find out about your flirting you've been doing at work and your "cheating" Well if she did; a) have you ever recieved any phone calls from girls you've flirted with; b) have you ever talked to your ex? c) do you have female friends? there are 3 sides to a story and until we get your wife's side theres nothing thst can be really done now is there
well your'll kno my life better than i do... abt her fone calls i found out long ago... but u guys can stop minding my business, if you cant answer the original question, do not leave a msg as you not being helpfull...
oh your speechless because you know we're right? right? Well there is 2 sides to a story and the TRUTH and if you can't figure that out i'm sorry. But if you guys want to stay together your marriage would need councelling or just you or just her if you cannot together take it and if you guys NEED to separate than so be it. But we cannot solve your problems for you. Do we have PHD signed on the btm of our post? Maybe you guys just need abreak ??? You guys really really need to sit down and TALK LISTEN and UNDERSTAND . COMMUNICATE. those are the keys to a successful marriage. if u don't have that than where ya gunna go without it. Putting a brickwall up and ignoring her whats that going to solve around your kids? They understand more than us... Sorry to say ...Even though they don't say anything they have memory and they see and they hear and they visualize. Kids NEVEr EVER forget. Be a man stick by your woman if it cannot be done than i'm sorry. Try talking to her about councelling .
