To feel set apart from the comfort of my skin Uneven surface textures stretched far beyond my youth Explosive silences from the gentle caress... Slide across smoothly and bury within Dark cavernous inner dwellings Flooded with memories and fondness to them Resting quietly on the hidden stair Pearched on a dream lined with slender perfection Jagged feminine sculptures of persuasive frustration Rusted and frail on the tip of my tongue
I agree with sylvan, the slippery erotic images you've created are wonderful... I also like the jagged rhyming present throughout, I don't know if you even did it intentionally but I love reading lines and wondering where that hidden rhythm is coming from.
Felt a bit superfluous as a whole but as an individual line or stanza it offers a lot of twisting metaphors and word combos that I could enjoy. But ... "Jagged feminine sculptures of persuasive frustration Rusted and frail on the tip of my tongue" ...is devastatingly beautiful.
