Homosexualityandheterosexuality (mergedwith) how does gayness happen

I was molested in about 5th or 6th grade. But, I remember being atracted to men before that.

 

eek!!

 

Yeah...well I have been doing a lot of research and reading other gay's stories and I believe people are born gay. So many people live normal lives and turn out gay...it has to be something that happens at birth and I am becoming determined to figure out what it exactly is. I am interested in science...maybe that can be my career...who knows.(im 17)
Also Samhain...I am confident in my sexuality. I am definitly gay. I was always confused though because I was attracted to men after I was molested. It may have been mere coincidence though. All people bloom at different times.

 

so have you been reflecting on this because your other message you said you remember being attracted to men after the incident and you put it down to that
S

 

With lesbians it seems to be less clear-cut...but in guys at least, I dont think homosexuality is caused by environmental factors...i think the gay brain has a different chemistry, and this can be observed in the involuntary "tendencies" displayed by most gay guys from a very young age...

my younger brother being a prime example--I watched him grow up talking like a girl and flapping his wrist and flashing that dizzy-looking smile which is a gay hallmark--way before he had any awareness of what's viewed as "normal" with regard to gender roles. Im gay myself(two gay kids out of three in a family would also support the idea that its genetic) and i can also remember physically lusting after other little boys before I ever had any idea what "sex" was. (dont worry-- i dont STILL lust after little boys, i like people around my own age, LOL)

Also (and remember this is a "hippie" forum so dont roast me too bad) i remember reading one new-age theory about how gay men are actually the reincarnations of women, who just didnt quite adjust fully in their transition to a male body. I guess it depends on your beliefs but it kinda makes sense to me that there is some "soul" aspect to it, beyond just genetics or environment. The experience of falling in love is what really opened my eyes to that--because then it was no longer just about lust--beyond just physical attraction, there was something deep in my being that longed for MALE energy. Unfortunately for me, all the guys ive been attracted to are straight, LOL--which is frustrating and it almost does make me feel like i shouldve been born a female. (i have no desire to alter my body or dress like one however)

thoughts please

 

welcome to the hip forums WhirledPeas, i like the reincarnation theory, although I would never suggest it applies to every gay man.
the thing is I'm a feminine gay guy so it does sit well with me, where as I can't imagine the more masculine gay guys out there being over keen on the idea
S

 

yeah....and also hearing others stories helped me to...wether it be their coming out story, or there secret crush, or even the realization of being gay...I have heard quite a few stories from people on the net via IM and in books I have been reading. I used to think the molestation caused it, but not anymore. Genetics and being born gay make much more sense.

 

do you feel better about your sexuality now you have reached this conclusion?
S

 

I'd have to go with Whirled Peas and say its mostly hormonal, at least in terms of recent scientific discoveries and proposals.

In fact, there's a term called "hormone anomaly," where the amount of testosterone and estrogen is secreted irregularly in an unborn male or female. There are several factors that determine this, such as overwhelming stress or abuse the mother encounters while she carries her child.

Therefore, a male may appear as more feminine with sexual hormones more compatible to a female and vice versa to a female.

Some may argue that this only affects the appearance of the sex. For example, a male with more estrogen will only act feminine because of the estrogen. Their physical, sexual orientation is thus irrelevant. However, I personally think one can't go without the other. If a guy has a feminine appearance because of estrogen, chances are the sexual attraction will go with it. OR, their mentality will habitually adapt to liking the same sex because their appearance influenced them a learned behavior of doing so.

This kind of question is still well, questionable...I really don't think we'll ever have concrete answers, though. It's too vague.

 

Well I belive it is mostly, if not completely, based on genetics... however some science has seen other effects, such as you are more likely to be gay if you have older brothers as the womb of your mother developes ways to fight the unborn baby (males will have a X and Y Chromosome, so a womans body would try to fight it), changing thier chemical make-up, and increasing the chance to be gay by about 4%, I belive it was....

However, it may be a built in instictual thing as well... It has been seen to be more likely to occur in a family where there is a week fatherly role played... well if we were to be in a pack, as wolfs, a week father would mean that the father would be somewhere else, which most likely would mean he would bump into more females to mate with creating more children, and overpopulation could be devestating, so being gay could be a nature triggure mechanism to keep the population at a reasonable level as well...

Or, on a spiritual note, it could be that you and you're soul mate are broght to earth, but there are times when you both are the same sex, well if you're the same sex and you're ment to be together, well there's a problem, how do you fix it, gayness! Woot!

However, sexuality is much less ridged then our culture seems to imply... There is not just Gay, Bi, or Stright, there is all the different ones in between... or you could have a scale from 1-100. 1 being perfectly straight and 100 being gay, and you would still not have enough numbers to present a value for each person in the world.... Somewhere I read that the majority of the population is Bi, but through all the media of the world... childrens books, fairy tales, tv, you're programmed to be straight, so that's what most people center towards, it's easiest afterall, so for those who are gay must really be up there, as it is so much harder to overcome and accept yourself when you don't quite fit in with everyone...

But whatever the answer is, I think it doesn't really matter, there are those in the world who won't like you, whatever you are, whereever you are, and those who will, you have the choice of who to hang with.