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Endings & beginnings

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Makimono402, Aug 14, 2006.

  1. Makimono402

    Makimono402 Member

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    Treading water

    Dreading conversations
    I`m digging myself into a hole here.

    Exactly where I don`t want to be
    Just to watch the hand tick by
    I hate it

    Everything about this place
    It seems between the living and the
    dead.

    Things between us
    The non-existence
    I can`t express it if I tried.

    Which I won`t.
    You`d just give me a laundry list of reasons.
    Straight, I`ll give it to you

    My love.
    Which you won`t, "can`t accept"
    I`m not the one you
    want

    You.
     
    Makimono402, Aug 14, 2006
    #1
  3. hippie_chick666

    hippie_chick666 Senior Member

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    Wow, I really like this poem because I can relate to it. My bf and I are having issues and always will and I know what it feels like to be suspended in a sea of uncertainity. Good job!

    Peace and love
     
    hippie_chick666, Aug 14, 2006
    #2
  5. Forgotten-holocaust

    Forgotten-holocaust Member

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    wow very tense :( i also noticed how your stucture sort of works well with the poem
    main feelings i got was frustration and longing *don't know whether that was the sort of thing you wanted to convey but either way it was a joy to read. :)
     
    Forgotten-holocaust, Aug 14, 2006
    #3
  7. myself

    myself just me

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    3,825
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    Sad story, but nicely expresed...
     
    myself, Aug 16, 2006
    #4
  9. saffronfrancisburnet

    saffronfrancisburnet Member

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    hi there i also like this poem,
    it gives all the reasons for change....

    sometimes its harder to accept
    what is needed ,and then again
    you never know untill you have
    moved on.....
    lovenpeace frm saff
     
    saffronfrancisburnet, Aug 16, 2006
    #5
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