Someone Help Me

My stepdad is talking to me and he won't shut up. Help.

 

Shoot him with a tazer.

 

I need to borrow one. I'm having to listen to the famous "back in my day" stories. Help, I need a beer.

 

Kick him in the balls

 

Do what I do, just smile and nod. Eventually he will either shutup or go away.

 

Shank him, that's what I do. Can't go wrong with a shank.

 

Get up and leave. Simple, but effective.

 

she might not want herpes

 

crank up the radio

 

stare into space and think about candy....that's what my kids do

 

duct tape

 

I did say shank... not shag, you owe me a present.

 

Its time you learn the way of the tranny


1. Jack Duke


Masturbating while taking a dump, especially if done out of neccessity due to lack of a more appropriate venue.

This camping trip's been a bear, I've had no time to myself. Things got so bad I had to take a Jack Duke in my friend's RV.

 

haha, how clever...

 

no, this is clever

2. Rotoscoping



When a man takes a decapitated head, mounts it neck first on his penis and then spins it around ala Linda Blair in the Exorcist, that's rotoscoping. As a hobby, the risks probably don't outweigh the rewards.

"What a bunch of bullshit that I got arrested for rotoscoping. I found the head in a vacant lot. Geez, it's not like I'm the one who killed her."

 

Wow

 

Ahh clever as well as practical.

 

1. Scat Baby



This is a person whom was conceieved only when their parents had scat sex. The marriage was lack luster and required the use of the cleavland steamer, hot carl, ect. to muster the passion needed to create a child. This child/adult is always annoying, mischeavious, ugly, and or a general pain in the ass.

Of course Ronnie didn't pay me back, he's a scat baby for christ's sake.

 

Shouldn't this be in another thread? Although I am intrigued...