The reason we shouldn't use words like "fag" so lightly (merged)

I feel like an asshole now, I think gaydar is bullshit too but there still are ways to tell if someone is gay or not t (like if he is staring at your body of course) , anyways uI used to work at this camp and there was this guy who was going out with someone from camp and I was like "THAT kid is Such a fag" (before I really knew i was gay) not really to be an asshole but rather because deep down I WANTED him to be and I had reason to believe he was because of all the personal stuff he shared with me and the way he stared at me. Anyways I was friendly with him but i quit camp and havnt seen him in like a year (work only friend you know) anyways i accidently found his myspace and he actually IS gay (or at least bi because he cant announce he is gay since he wants to join the navy) so now i feel like a complete asshole who contributed to him not being open about who he was simply because he was gay .

What the heck am I supposed to message him with? I'm sorry that I was an asshole and made fun of fags in front of you even though we both ARE FAGS?

 

hmm maybe.

 

Yes

 

i don't really call anyone fag or faggot.

i may say it to my friends, but they're straight..

i don't know, even if someone called me a fag, i don't really think that would discourage me from coming out.

 

okay well hopefully it had nothing to do with me.

 

Yeah, I would apologize. He'll probably appreciate it, and even if he doesn't, you'll know that you did the right thing.

 

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owned

 

I have found that some people actually ues the word to feel other people out just to find out if they are gay

 

yeah I agree with this, maybe start the message that you feel you have doone the wrong thing in the past and explain why you feel you acted like that
S

 

Smiled when I read this one. Brought back memories of when my daughter was with the orchestra. Her best buddy was the bassoonist, who was also gay, and his nickname was fagott...fagott being German for bassoon. Thing was only his closest friends were afforded the privilige of calling him by his nickname, anyone else and he thought it highly insulting!

 

the kid probably doesn't even remember you calling him a faggot.

 

True, but for a lot of people it would make their day to see someone care enough to apologize after such a long time.

 

sometimes i use the word dyke too lightly, and it looks bad to people who don't know i am one...but i know a lot of people who embrace the terms fag and dyke, it just depends on the tone of voice. if you feel the need, apologize, it can't hurt!

 

I don't use the word, even when reffering to myself, but if I did it would definatly only be around other people that were my friends and GBLT.

 

I use the word fag around my friends who are straight sometimes I wonder if thats a bad thing, they seem to be okay with me being gay and ive jokingly said to one of them before "shut up you fag" and they were like "pfft i wouldnt be talking"

 

The word "faggot" has always offended me and I've never used it. I would aplogize to the kid anyway, even though he may not remember. It'll get this whole ordeal off your chest.

 

yeah, I agree.

 

Im having some issues with my parents with using the terms "Fag" or "queer". I hate it it hurts my feelings and im not out of the closet yet. And I cant tell them not to say itor they will suspect some thing. And Im not ready to come out yet. Please comment on what I have said and Tell me how these words affect you.