forcing parents to accept me for who I am

I still live with my parents, and I have been caught once for smoking weed. At first when they talked to me about it, told them I would not quit and that they couldnt make me. This was a bad decision because this lead my mom to pull some "marijuana addiction" bullshit on me. I felt bad and realized that to her it must seem like I'm addicted and just said i would quit. My dad tried to be reasonable because he himself used to smoke pot, but he is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for a while now and so he has a slightly negative view of drugs. He never told me to quit, he implied it though and became very suspicious of me. I did quit for a while but I then decided to smoke every now and then. My parents have had their suspicions but in the 7 months since i was caught they do not think I have smoked marijuana at all. Both of them are very liberal and not against cannibus law reform, and both of them used to smoke. They do not want me smoking pot though, at least not until I am 18. I hate lying to them, and always living a constant lie and worrying so much. I really want them to accept me for who I am and not try to change a behavior that has never hurt me or anyone else. I am not "addicted" and I dont do dumb things like smoke in public or at school. I personally believe that I am responsible and mature enough to handle the responsibility of being allowed to smoke marijuana.

So, I have a plan. Next time I am caught, which maybe not for a good while, because I am quitting for school, I am going to be very honest. I will tell them that I have decided to smoke again, and they will have to learn to live with that. I am going to let them punish me any way they want because that is their right, but I am not going to promise to quit and I am going to tell them that I will not smoke in their house or be high in their presence. They will probably ground me for a while and take away my future driving privileges, but I think, eventually they will get over it. And in time, our relationship will improve because I am not lying to them all the time. However, it is possible they will freak out and send me to rehab and I guess I will just take that like a man. Does anyone else have experience with this? Any opinions on what to say, how to say it. I really love my parents and besides smoking weed, I am a good kid and have always tried to make them proud. If I am making good grades, and it isnt interfering with other more important things, I do not see why they cannpt just accept my marijuana use and love me regardless.

btw I am 15

 

that is a level headed and well thought out plan. respectfully discussing it with your parents is an excellent idea, especially since they have smoked before. one thing though, why are you waiting until you get caught? if you do that then they will just feel that you were being dishonest; it would probably be best to tell them without them having to find out for themselves. (unless ur waiting til you get caught because you'd rather they didn't know at all, in which case, it's perfectly understandable)

 

mostly because i don't want to start a problem where there is none. If they never catch me again, I guess it won't be a problem.

 

well written proposal for once on this site, props

 

^^ wow you got a good review from digital, hell im gonna have to concur

 

well, one thing though. Do you know why it is they don't want you smoking pot? My parents were only angry at me for smoking for just the reason that i was keeping an illegal drug in their house, not health risks or what not. The reason they are against you smoking may be important to your convincing them to accept that you smoke

 

oh my god is abbie!
good plan

 

good luck. i wouldnt worry about rehab, i dont think thats even possible. make sure youve got all your information, check out erowid and norml websites, you gotta have something solid to back you up.

 

Just continue to do what you're doing and everything. Continue to make good grades in school and stay out of trouble and then tell them you have still been smoking. If they see that you can smoke and still make the grades and stay out of trouble, they might not have too much of a problem with it, as long as you keep it out of their house, as well.

 

I respect you and your future decisions Abbie.

 

Good decision,im a chronic lier so i would'nt be albe to do that.

 

Sure, because everyone has the willpower to smoke in moderation and the ability to not make smoking interfere with school, jobs, and even relationships.

 

Worked for me.... lay down the facts.

 

My entire family knows I get fucked up, not only on weed, but a variety of other substances. They used to be worried about it, but they have realized that it doesn't interfere with my life in a negative way. My laziness is my problem, not the drug use.

 

yeah agreed

I went there

 

Ive decided to quit until i'm a little older.... MAybe I'll do it again this year but certainly not often.

 

Pretty much the same as you. YOur parents are never going to just be like ok you can smoke pot. Parents usaully aren't like that. Just keep it out of there faces and don't smoke in your house if you want to smoke it while your living in your parents house.

 

you sound exactly like me, and my parents sound exactly like your parents, it kinda freaked me out, cause those are the exact same things i have thought

 

That is a great plan. From personal experience I think it is best to come out and be honest and tell your parents before you do get caught. Thats what I did and now they dont have any problems with me smoking pot. I understand that some people could not do that cause their parents wouldn't react in a reasonable way, but at least being honest is still the way to go. But it is good what you are doing keeping a straight head in school and being honest with your parents. Especially the fact that you wont quit but you would respect their rules not to have it in their house. As you get older you have the maturity to make your own decision on what you want to do with your life and if you respect your parents in the process maybe they will learn to respect your choice to keep smoking.

 

Wow Abbie. You may have just told the story of two people. Yourself and me. My situation at home is exactly like what you described. I too am worried about driving if I got caught. But hey good luck. I could learn a thing or two from you lol.