How does it make you feel?

I was just thinking when a guy calls you hot does it make you feel good? I know for me it doesn't, its just doesn't amtter to me. I mean Id rather someone tell me I was sweet or cute, beautiful or smart. Hot just doesn't make me feel anything.

Cause I was talking to my male cousin whos like 27 and he was talking about his realtionship with some girl who hes cheating on (that asshole)> But he says if the girls hot I don;t care too much, but if the girl is cute and really sweet then I wouldn't cheat on her.

What would you rather hear that your hot or that your beautiful?

 

I wouldn't want to be TOLD I'm beautiful, I'd want to be made to FEEL beautiful.

 

I guess it depends on the person, the mood, and the situation.

When my boyfriend calls me hot, it usually doesn't matter, no matter what the scenario is, because I know he finds me beautiful, so I don't take it to offense.

I always do prefer other compliments over "hot" though... Hot is kind of cheap, and not quite as classy.

When a guy I don't know, hits on me and calls me hot, it pisses me off. Not just because I don't usually enjoy randomly being hit on, but because it just makes me feel like a piece of meat.

I'd much rather receive other compliments aside from physical beauty though. My guy always says I "boggle his mind" because I take a lot of things on my plate, and always handle them with strength... That makes me feel better than any physical compliment. I like it when he tells me I'm sweet, or a good person, or intelligent.

But moon flower is right, it's more than just saying it, it's making you feel it. When my boyfriend touches my faces and looks at me in the eyes, that makes me feel beautiful. When my boyfriend listens to me when I go on a long speech about something I researched, that makes me feel intelligent. When he smiles at a letter I wrote him when I was thinking about him while he was gone, that makes me feel sweet. I don't need words, I like to see that he actually feels that way.

When I haven't showered, and my hair is a mess, and I'm sitting in mismatched PJs watching TV while eating a pile of junk food, and he kisses me and touches me, I know he genuinely thinks I'm beautiful.

 

What they said ^^^

Feeling it trumps being told it. How I accept compliments really depends on my mood. I always feel reeeeally awkward when Im just getting to know someone (ie first date) and they compliment me... I dont really know them well enough to believe it, I just assume its an attempt to get into my pants unless they come across as terribly genuine. Im still not too great at accepting them, I blush and turn away and get all uncomfortable unless Ive put an actual effort into my appearance or whatever theyre complimenting me on.

 

I worked in a convienent store for awhile. After dealing with so many creeps and jerks call me hot and "pretty momma" and whatever else.. I've gotten to where I usually don't like being told that i'm good looking unless i know the guy.
except last week a drunk came up to me while i was listening to my friends busk downtown, and he told me i was cute and asked me to come to the bar. that made me smile.. but that might have been more that my friend's face changed to a very protective look when he saw that guy hitting on me

 

I usually become offended when a guy calls me hot. I will just have an image of the guy as superficial.

 

Ok, I guess some people have trouble taking compliments. So, you all like it when someone walks up to you and says "you're fucking ugly"? Just curious. I think most people who say that they don't like to be called hot are 1) either full of shit and are trying to prove how "deep" they are and how "looks don't matter", or 2) really do have a low self-esteem and find it hard to take compliments because they don't believe them to be true (I used to be that way). But again this is just my opinion.

I don't have a problem with being told that I'm hot by anyone in the least bit. I work my fucking ass off in the gym for 2 hours a day, so yeah it is nice when other people notice the hard work I put in. I take pride in my appearance and I like to look nice and I don't mind if people like how I look. And I don't mind telling other people, male or female that they look nice. And no I'm not so caught up in my looks in the least bit. I'm not the type that doesn't leave my house without make up on or has to always look perfect or anything remotely like that. I just don't mind being complimented in any way shape or form. Unless someone is trying to take advantage of me. But if they are honestly just expressing what is going through their mind, wtf is the big deal? I mean it is really just free speech right? Shall we censor people who think that we are attractive just because we are women and they are men? Or maybe they are women, I've told women they are hot before.

I like it most when it comes from my boyfriend because his opinion is far more important than anyone else's. And I also like it when people tell me that I'm intelligent or I make a good arguement (if you haven't noticed, I love to argue), or that I'm a good cook, or I did a good job at work. Since when is praise a bad thing? Oh right, when it comes to superficial things like appearance. Well, then isn't it superficial to care if someone thinks you are smart or funny or what the hell ever you want people to think of you? I mean we would all still be attempting to live up to another person's standard, right?

Maybe it is the word "hot" that is bothering so many here. Perhaps if someone came up to you and said "my, you look quite stunning in that dress" you might have a different reaction? So, then I wonder, what the hell is wrong with being hot as opposed to stunning? Why does "hot" have such a negative connotation for some of you? Is it bad to be hot. Should we all try to make ourselves ugly, so that we appear to be deep on some level?

I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just trying to get everyone to think about things more before jumping to conclusions about them. Think over why it is really that big of a deal to have someone call you hot (and mean it of course). I mean if so many of you believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it is on the inside that counts, and all that other cliche horseshit you feed yourselves, then it really shouldn't offend you either. It shouldn't matter either way. You should be able to smile, say thank you and walk away. At least that is the way I see it.

 

Hahaha. Wow, that is a bitchy thing to say in the first part of your post.

Please don't assume you know everything about what goes on in someone else's head next time.

Would you be offended if someone said that your sister, mother, or grandmother was hot?

Using the word "Hot" implies that the person is sexy and they want to have sex with that person.

Stunning is stunning.

 

Maybe I shouldn't do this, as it'll be terrible for my blood pressure and petty dramas are absurd; but I'll bite ...

Maybe so; but actually I have a problem with certain words being used in certain contexts; because I am aware of what they mean and the images/stereotypes they project.

Suprisingly that's never happened. Though I'd probably react in a similiar fashion to either extreme (ie. err OK, whatever).

Oh sure, random strangers on the fucking internet are the only ones capable of understanding my psyche. [Trust me better qualified/paid people than you have tried and failed]
Looks do matter, if they didn't then we wouldn't spend every day bombarded with evidence of it; and how that manipulates and destroys people. I am very fortunate to feel confident and valued for reasons beyond apperance and able to resist that pressure, but am well aware many people aren't that way.
People have as much right to their opinions as others have to feel/know that said opinions wrong.

Yeah I mean how silly to be riled up by sexist bullshit; because that's generally what 'hot' means to me. It says 'I am not prepared to know you as a person'; because if you knew me as a person a) you'd know how I felt about those terms and b) hot wouldn't spring to mind anyway.
Free speech is bullshit; people should not have the right to offend and belittle others, and they can't be trusted not to.

Well yeah probably, but hey whatever makes it easier to get through the day.
It's just the whole "somebody believeing I happen by some fluke of genetics to conform to society's latest idea of 'perfection'" has just never really done it for me. Where as I will accept compliments on my writing because I work damn hard at it and intend to make that my career. I'm the last person to care what 'others' think, but if'll pay my rent then so be it.

Hmm think you might be getting it

That wouldn't bother me; because it's generally used in very specific contexts by people who know/care about me, and there is a very specific message being given (ie you made a good choice of outfit). It's just generally a more pleasant word too.

Said once before but it bears repeating ...
When someone calls me hot I take it to mean they aren't prepared to consider me as a person. That all we're good for is to be looked at, that everything else we are doesn't matter. Not necessarily the word itself, but because of the people who use it. Those sexist douchebags have to go spoil it for everyone.

Or people could just extend their vocabulary beyond three letter words; that'd be nice.
I don't feel a need to 'appear deep' any more than I need to be physically attractive, and sure as hell am not going to justify it to strangers. I am what I am; you like that, fine. If you don't, well that's no loss on my part.

Sure sweetie; that's why you wrote us off as either arrogrant or cripplingly insecure. That isn't even close to jumping to conclusions.

I have, see above

Uh huh, yeah let's all keep kidding ourselves that individual words don't have anything beyond superficial meanings, that they're never used as tools to manipulate people, or whatever else you wish to delude yourself with.
No way am I going to be told to shut up and be a good girl; anyone offends me they will damn well know about it. Anyone professing to be pro free speech should have no problem with 'suck it up and deal'.

OK I'm done

 

I wasn't assuming, I was giving my opinion. We can still do that here right? Don't assume you know what is going through someone's head when they say you or anyone else looks hot. It does not always mean they want to have sex with you, I'm not sure where in the world that comes from. It is just another way of saying you look good, nice, pretty. It is just a word. And no why the fuck would I be offended if someone thought my sister was hot. She is hot. And she's really smart too. And my mom, sure. My grandma is dead, but her husband thought she was pretty hot at one point I'm sure. Do you see how silly the arguement is yet? That was my only point.

 

I've noticed that other men who ask me to "Look at that hot chick", do so so frequently that the adjective "hot" isn't very meaningful. Its not suprising that women don't feel complimented when a stranger calls them "hot."

 

Yay, someone to spar with... that is really what I was looking for. Thanks.

How do you know what is going through someone else's mind when they say something? How do you know what they mean? You can't be a "hot" hippy momma type? What one person thinks is hot, doesn't necessarily mean that everyone agrees. So the images that come to mind for you, might not be what anyone else in the room was thinking. You are the one doing the stereotyping not them.

I don't recall attempting to understand your particular psyche at all. You replied to me I didn't reply to you I responded to the originally posted question with my OPINION. Like I said "I think". If you don't care what random people on the fucking Internet think, then why get so bent out of shape about it? And thanks for agreeing with my point that looks do matter to people. I'm glad that you are confident and have more going on for you than your appearance, other people don't I gather. The argument however, isn't about how the media bombards us with images of sex appeal and brain washes us to strive for such. The argument is why the hell the simple word "hot" offends so many people (and I still don't believe it really does, I think most people here are putting up a front because they believe for some reason that they should be offended by beauty).

They shouldn't? Why not? I hate it when people try so hard to be "politically correct". Guess we should stop Jay Leno from making fun of the president, because he belittles him, right? And I really believe that when a guy comes up to me and says, "Wow, you're hot" that he has every intention of offending and belittling me. Especially since you all believe for some reason that the only reason someone would call you hot is to get you into bed with them. So, according to your logic, offending people makes them want to sleep with you. Hmmm.... interesting. The problem is, and I'm not sure if some of you are going to get this or not, but the fact that you are offended is your problem and it stems from you not the person saying something to you. I could say fucking hot potato and someone could get offended. That isn't my goddamn fault.



I don't think this has anything to do with sexism. And like I've already pointed out what hot means to you isn't always what it means to someone else. You are the one who conjures up images of supermodels and Hollywood stars in your head. How do you know that is what the other person's definition of hot is? And don't pretend like you have never thought someone of the opposite sex is hot (or of the same sex for that matter). If you gals want to fight sexism, I think there are much better routes to take than freaking out about someone calling you hot. There are causes you can join that will actually make a difference.

I think this is off topic, but we'll follow this line of thinking for a moment, since you brought it up. First, I don't know that people believe that people's attractiveness or lack there of is a "fluke of genetics". Like I said, I work fucking hard. Probably just as hard as you do at writing. I definitely had to fight genetics. And working out is my career and helping others to feel good about themselves is what I do to pay rent (I'm a personal trainer). But you don't think that creativity and genetics have a little bit to do with the fact that you are good at writing? (I'm also an English major, and I completely believe that some people are cut out to be writers, and some just suck at it, no matter how hard they try). So, you honestly still believe that there is a difference in someone complimenting your appearance as opposed to your writing? You are still as you say, "conforming to society's latest idea of 'perfection'". And the thing about it paying your rent... I'm confused as to what that has to do with anything since we aren't talking about hookers here. (hot women don't pay their rent by being hot, well not all of them anyway) But I think what you are hinting at is that people who make money from their looks are not as good as you because you use your mind. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but your statements sound extremely judgmental, and actually prove my point for me quite well. But we weren't talking about paying your rent at all.

Nope, I'm not just now getting it at the end of my post; I understood what the topic was about from the beginning. I was simply trying to prove the point that what is wrong with the stupid little word "hot". Why is everyone upset by it? It doesn't mean anything unless you make it mean something. You guys are reading way too much into the word.

My boyfriend cares about me a great deal and he calls me hot, when I look hot. It does not diminish our feeling for each other or anything else that you are alluding it does. More pleasant of a word? Tree that is a very pleasant word too. You look like a tree. Happy now?

I suppose I will have to repeat myself as well. Just because that is how you take it does not mean that is how 1) the person meant it and 2) that is how everyone else takes it. And who are these people who use the word, as far as I know all sorts of people use the word hot. Again with the stereotyping and assumptions.

Well, there is nothing I can argue with there, I agree 100% that I would very much like to have the general population have a larger vocabulary and be able to communicate a little more effectively than we do. Then perhaps we wouldn't even be having this discussion because the word hot would not be used to describe things and both of our points would be moot. And I'm glad that you aren't trying to "appear" one way or another. Neither am I, I just like to play the devil's advocate.

I didn't say either of those things, nor did I imply them. I addressed this once already, and I still don't think I'm wrong. I think that most people who say that they don't like being called attractive, are lying. Simple as that. And I didn't suggest that I wasn't jumping to conclusions, of course I was. It is what all of us were doing. I wasn't saying that I was better than anyone else either, unlike what some of you seem to think of yourselves for being so called "non-superficial". Not being so caught up in physical appearance is great, things like that shouldn't consume someone. But flipping out on someone because they find you attractive is, in my opinion, ridiculous.

Really, what the hell for? You have sat around and pondered why it offends you when someone calls you "hot" in depth. Wow, sounds like a huge waste of time to me. You could be writing or something rather than worry about something so trivial. Like I said if you really want to fight an injustice or find a cause to be enraged about, go out and join a group, because this isn't worth being so upset over. Again just my opinion.

Yeah and you can keep kidding yourselves into believing that you don't like people to find you attractive, or that you think that if someone calls you intelligent that you still aren't living up to someone else's expectations, instead of doing your own thing. Yeah, keep believing that you are all sooooooooo beyond this. I never said that words don't hurt people. I said the word "hot" was not intended to hurt people; it was intended to give someone a compliment. But silly girls who want to appear deep twisted its meaning and made it evil. There are words that do hurt people, but more than likely the intention was to hurt someone. If a person walks up to someone and says you are a complete asshole and I hate you, that is very different than saying wow you are hot. Don't you understand the difference there? But we can choose to ignore them. And we can choose to not allow them to hurt us. And I never ever told you or anyone else on this forum to shut up or not speak their mind. I came here hoping someone would have something to counter my line of thinking, as you have. If something offends you, most certainly stand up and say so, but don't expect everyone to agree with you. And I love the last part "suck it up and deal" that is pretty much what I've been trying to say to all you hot mommas who are flipping out.

Me too. Thanks for the challenge. My god are my fingers tired.

 

Exactly. It doesn't mean anything. It sure doesn't mean all of these things that people seem to be attaching to it. It's just like "look at that brown dog over there taking a dump."

 

beautiful, goregeous, classy, stunning, all great compliments

hots good but its not great, it's just like yay whatever.

p.s. some of you mama's sure sound like your pmsing. some people don't like to be called hot, so what, it is kinda flat. like wow you sure know how to express yourself lil guy, now go home while I find me a gentleman or someone that may actually engage me in conversation than "yo girl you are fine". It is a compliment, just a very plain, boring, and uneducated one.

haha anyone wanna try some psyche with me? tell me what my problems are?

 

that is my point exactly. it is a compliment, but not that well thought out. Or maybe he was so awestruck by one's beauty that all he could think of at the moment was "holy shit that girl is hot". It is a boring and uneducated compliment, you hit the nail right on the head. But it is still meant to be a compliment. It isn't meant to hurt anyone, put anyone down or manipulate anyone into sleeping with them. I mean my god it isn't like the guy slipped you a roofie or something. One still has the ability to decide if she wants to hop in bed with the first person who calls her hot, right? As far as pmsing, nope I'm always like this. I'm argumentitive. Boyfriend says I should be a laywer, but I've got way too many emotions to do that. Being called hot is neither here nor there. It isn't a huge deal. My point was, why the fuck would anyone make such a big deal out of it to begin with. This post was headed in the direction of men bashing and saying, in so many words, that being called attractive was wrong in some way. I was just pointing out that it really isn't so bad to have people find you attractive. Maybe they see something that other people don't, like a twinkle in your eye or a cute little dimple. What's the big deal?

 

Um. I think Mike E. meant that it doesn't mean anything, and he's not surprised that women feel offended because it doesn't mean anything.

 

I agree with A+O, if someone calls me "hot" it makes me feel like an object...

"Hot" is usually used by frat boys who just want a piece of ass. My boyfriend doesn't call me hot...he calls me "beautiful"...although even that rubs me the wrong way at times. I don't like for people to compliment me on my looks, because looks, in the long run, don't really matter...and don't last forever. I would rather me complimented on my personality traits. That's what really is important in life. Not someone's appearance.

So, cutelildeadbear, you can say that I'm blowing that out of my ass, or you can say that I have low self-esteem...whatever...but in the long run, I know what I am...and the person that I am...is not defined by how I look.

 

I'm agreeing with DancerAnnie. My physical appearance isn't all that meaningful to me in the long run, and would much rather be complimented on something longer lasting.

But, that being said... I do have issues with my appearance. Being told I am "hot" translates in my world to "nice tits". My husband tells me I am beautiful, which doesn't translate the same way... but he is husband.

 

i hate it when guys call me hot don't like the word reminds me of pornstars

 

I get your point cutelildeadbear but some people will find it rude if you don't speak with them first with respect. you don't see business or classy men using "your hot" as a pick up line, just immature pricks and younger men that may just not know better or are trying to show off. Some people seem to think "I like your tits" is a really flattering compliment but I don't. Sure it's better than "your tits are ugly" but it's still demeaning, becuase my tits are there for a purpose and not just for jerks to drool over, though it will happen anyways.

A gentleman will engage you. An asshole will only flatter you.