Sometimes I get so lonely...

I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself and I'm not trying to get attention, I jut want to share my feelings and get whatever advice and feedback you guys want to give me.

It's been about three years since the only serious relationship of my life ended, since then the closest I've come to romance was a week-long fling I had with a girl in Germany about a year and a half ago. It was lots of fun, but it was really just a physical thing, we didn't really connect and after it was over it was over for good, we parted on good terms, but with an unspoken agreement that our paths would never cross again. There have been a couple of ladies I've had a crush on since then, but nothing ever came of it, most of the time I'm simply alone, and most of the time I'm perfectly happy with that.

But sometimes I get lonely.

Today I'm lonely. Last night I had a dream I was with a beautiful woman, I've dreamt about her before, and every time I dream of her we are in love, but I don't recognise her from real life. The dream started off as a dreamy adventure involving the girl, a big hairy guy, a van, a mouse and a couple of guns. The big guy tried to kill me but I pulled a gun on him and made him go away, leaving the girl and me by an abandoned house. It was the end of the world or something because we were the only three people in the world it seemed. After I ran the big guy off we went in the old house, there was no electricity, the house was lit by sunlight through dusty windows. I found a bottle of rum and me and the girl had a little, and we just sat and talked, and ended up holding each other and kissing. There was no sex, it wasn't what we really wanted just then, we just wanted to hold each other and feel the love.

We were on the floor about to kiss when I woke up. It was so wonderfull, I felt like I was really in love, that I had found my soul-mate, and then I woke up and it was all gone, just a fading dream-memory. It left me with the most profound lonliness I have felt since I broke up with my high-school sweetheart three years ago.

Now all I can think of right now is finding this girl in real life, but I know that I won't find her by going around trying to get laid. I don't want sex, I want love, so I just have to wait until I meet the right girl.

Oh well, the lonliness will fade in a day or two, and I will eventually meet this woman of my dreams. I just hope that when I do meet her I will recognise her and she will recognise me and I won't chicken out and run away like I usually do when I meet an attractive woman.

'O woe is me.

Oh well, life goes on, in the meantime, I'll write the story of my dream, it was so lovely and lyrical, it could make a TV movie of the week.

 

sounds rough.

i never had any close friends or family so i kinda know how you feel.

my lonliness threaetened to swallow me whole.

meeting miranda killed it.

keep searching...

 

This probably won't make you feel better, but I know how you feel. I've gone through 2 really hard breakups in the last year alone and it sucks. But I just try to keep telling myself that things will get better and that I'll meet a nice guy that won't screw me over or use me like all the rest. Good luck...

 

i can't make any promises but i bet you find her!!

 

I have no need for a girlfriend other than for sex.

 

They do other things?

 

oh yeah, we cook, clean and do your laundry, too.


anyway, i understand the lonliness. i think the dream is your psyche telling you that you're preparing yourself for someone to come along. one thing that peolpe fail to remember is that we don't find love until we're ready to accept it. you may not have been emotionally available before. now that the position is prepared, someone WILL show up to fill it.

 

oh man ive had soo many of those, where im with the absolute perfect girl, never quite sure who she is though. kindof a drag to wakeup remembering

 

dude, it's so crazy. it's so totally ME.