BREAK UP HELP!!!! IS IT TOO LATE? or Never TOO LATE

This is my first post and I need some fresh opinions ASAP.

I have been with my G/F for 4 months now and I love her to death. Last night she called and said that “she has changed feelings for me and doesn’t know if she wants to be together anymore” and that broke my heart. She said she “needs a couple of days off to think about it a see if she misses me”. Two weeks into our “relationship” I had to move back home for co-op which is 2:30 hrs away. Until then we had the best time together. I try to make it up every weekend but sometimes I can’t. I haven’t seen her for the last 3 weeks so I was really excited to see her this weekend and then she called. I was going to tell her that I love her 3 weeks ago but I couldn’t get to her and I didn’t want to call here and tell her. It had to be face to face. Today I wrote her an e-mail saying exactly how I feel that I love her and that the reason she doesn’t feel the same way is because we are apart for such a long time and we can’t just have a relationship based on phone calls and weekend visits. I go back to school in September so I will see her all the time and I don’t want to lose her. I told here that I wont visit this weekend or call her (even though I’m coming up) because I respect her decision to have some time off and think, but I wrote when your ready you can come over and we can talk .

The questions I have

Can I save my love from leaving me???
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Is it true that you don’t fell the same about a person after seeing them every day for a month and the every other weekend?? Things start to slow down right??

Can we restore the Feelings that we once had for one another??

What should I do, say anything ?????

Any advise and encouragement is greatly appreciated.

Thanks

 

First, it sounds like you're doing the right things so far -- sent an email explaining your feelings honestly, but respecting her space by waiting for her to come talk to you.

That is entirely up to her. If she wants to give it a shot, then you have a chance. If there's more going on than she's telling you (and I don't mean to suggest something with someone else, but too much stress in other areas of her life, desire to experiment, etc.) then you may not have much of a shot. For all any of us know, this may have been coming for a while, it may be that she never felt as strongly for you as you do for her... I'm not trying to be overly negative, but you're kind of in a crappy position now, and the ball is in her court. You can't MAKE her love you as you feel you love her.

Are you asking whether, after seeing one another every day, if you change to seeing one another rarely, things will start to feel more distant? If that's what you're trying to get at, then that depends on how well you maintain the emotional intimacy you had when together all the time. During the school year, my fiance and I live about 800 miles apart. There have been times when we were both so stressed out that we let the intimacy fade a bit... But also happened at one point when we were living together, both too stressed out to relax for a minute. On the other hand, there have been other times when we were able to maintain that intimacy, even though we hadn't been in the same state for 2 months.

That depends on what her feelings are for you. Then, that depends on how much you both want to work on this.

I would wait to see when/if she contacts you. You've expressed your feelings. Now it's up to her. I know it sucks. But, if she said she needs time, you've got to give her time -- otherwise she's likely to run away, claiming that you're suffocating her.

 

Move on.... if she is unsure then why stay?
There are MILLIONS of OTHER women out there-Find the one that is sure.
Also-talk is cheap. Lot's people talk a good game but will not follow it up.
I know it hurts but don't waste your love on someone who is not SURE!

 

Can I save my love from leaving me???

Unfortunately if she wants to go you have to let her. You could try to save your relationship, but that is risky. You could spend months being every thing that she wants you to be, and then she leaves and you feel worse than you do now and resent her for leading you on.
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Is it true that you don’t fell the same about a person after seeing them every day for a month and the every other weekend?? Things start to slow down right??

My husband and I have spent time apart (for work) and when we saw each other it was fantastic (in all ways!) and sometimes the time apart was a much needed reminder of how much we love and depend on each other. If a little time apart puts a relationship in jeopardy it is possible that it wasn't very solid.

Can we restore the Feelings that we once had for one another??

Sure, if both of you want to and if both of you work at it.

What should I do, say anything ?????

You should take the time that she is asking for and do a lot of soul searching yourself. Things like; Is she worth the wait? Are you willing to put 110% into getting her back even though she may tell you in 6 months that it isnt what she wants? What if you say I love you and she tells you what a nice guy you are and she never meant to hurt you, but.....there is alot to think about.

Good luck, and I hope things work out for you.

 

If she doesn't care about you in that way anymore, why would even waste your time?

I know easier said than done, but you just need to move on...you can't change people's minds once they are made up.

 

If you do ever want anything to do with her again DO NOT CONTACT her!! If you do its over for sure. Just wait it out and while your waiting get out there and meet some new girls. You just might find one you like better.

 

Guy, SUPERSTAR - if've made one HUGE mistake, dont send , write, call her if u want to talk seriously or tell ehr thatu love her.. MEET with her, make her see ur eyes,, how u speak, how u touch her, it must happen in real life, and after that you 'd shortly see if she loves u or not..... But first place is maybe she needs more attention ... look for problems.


I AM SHOCKED where is DIETCOKE advise ???/

 

You've done all you can do here, just wait for a a while and see if she contacts you. I'd say give her a month, and if she hasn't contacted you by then, than move on.

 

Can I save my love from leaving me???

oh, yeah, sure, you can manipulate her with emotional blackmail into staying in a relationship she wants to leave. It happens all the time. But if you really care about her feelings, you wouldn't do that to her.


Is it true that you don’t fell the same about a person after seeing them every day for a month and the every other weekend?? Things start to slow down right??
Can we restore the Feelings that we once had for one another??
Feelings change over time, sure, no matter the circumstances. But if the feeling is gone, it's gone. Move on.