Skinny Gals

Hey y'all,

This is a thought that has been floating around in my head for quite some time, and I'm just looking for a little feed back.

I firmly believe that everyone should be happy with their bodies, and today's image of beauty can make it very difficult. Especially for larger women.

The thing that is not talked about as much though, is the mean comments skinny women face as well. My best friend has the body of supermodel ( six foot and like 120 pounds!), but she eats like a horse! This girl has endured MANY cruel comments, and made her very self conscious of her tiny frame. The interesting this is, as many women would love her body, men have made rude remarks. I've had experience with this myself, being called anorexic, etc. And I can tell you, it really hurts.

As I stated, I believe we should all love our bodies...big or small. I was wondering if anyone has had any similar experiences, or has any thoughts on this issue. Merci!

Peace 'n Love
K.D

 

The problem with people, as far as I've noticed around me, is that they're never satisfied with themselves.
A colleague of mine, which seemed such a beautiful girl to me, was not satisfied at all with her looks. She had nice curly long hair, but she hated it and wished she had straight hair. She was tall and slim, but she wished to gain weight, she could eat and nothing got on to her, other girls would have loved that, but she was very upset.
I myself hate my natural hair colour (which is light brown) and I dye it blonde.

 

i agree with you myself, it seems that it is in a way human nature to keep wanting more/something better to keep making improvments in hopes of achieveing further happiness

 

Super skinny skeletal women aren't attractive. Just like women with more chins than a chinese phonebook aren't.
Women should have curves.
I think if more women would start living for themselves and not for what Vogue finds attractive....there would be more happier, healthier women.

 

the amount of women who say "I am just build this way" when they are 120 pounds and 6 feet tall has risen disporportionally in regards to the population during the last 10 years.

Not saying that there aren't women out there who are naturally tall and waif-like. I am saying that there are more women who CLAIM to be naturally tall and waif-like that crash diet, or develop secret eatting disorders in order to appear waif-like.

If you are naturally that skinny... good for you. I just have issues with the women who starve themselves or vomit constantly to appear that way.

 

Really skinny girls sometimes scare me -- I don't like seeing ribs poking out. I do realize that some people just have a very very fast metabolism. But whatever the reason, I don't personally find it attractive, and I don't believe it's healthy. IF you are skeletal b/c your metabolism is fast, you need to work out a diet with your doctor that will help you put on some weight. If a horse has ribs showing, we adjust the diet to promote weight gain, for health reasons.

 

I am not sure whether I agree with it or not but my nutritionist [because I have an eating disorder] believes in "set points"

Basically what a set point is, is a healthy weight for you, as an individual. This also means that someone who is naturally meant to be thin, could eat and eat and not gain weight or find it DIFFICULT to gain weight, and if they stopped eating ridiculous amounts of food and ate normal again the weight would quickly come off.

Same theory goes for bigger people... its difficult for them to lose weight and the weight may quickly come back if they don't stay eating less.

Now while this could be fact [this is a theory, not proven] there are some things that bother me about this, because from my observation, people that are big generally eat more and people that are thin generally eat less or have more active lives. But, that's an opinion. My boyfriend is very very thin, and he claims to eat a lot, and he will eat a lot in one sitting, but throughout the day he really doesn't eat as much as he probably should be eating given his activity level. He works in construction in really hot weather all day, and never ever eats breakfast, and he really just eats lunch and dinner. Sometimes a snack here and there but not consistently.

My cousins, I always thought they were big because of genes, because the other side of their family is big... However at recent family gatherings I noticed the both of them stocking up their plates 3 or 4 rounds, piled high.

I observe people a lot when they eat, because it's a habit I developed when I became ill with my eating disorder.

I also think that a lot of it has to do with the things you eat. I have been eating much more but haven't gained any weight because I eat really really healthy low-fat things. In the past when I struggled with eating disorders, when I began eating again, I would chow down junk and I instantly gained weight. I also noticed that when I drank a lot of cola, I would gain weight really fast from all the empty calories and high sugar levels.

Anyway, aside from all that, I think people are just mean. Someone will always say something bad about you no matter what you look like or if you're nice or whatever. People used to tease me for being fat when I was younger and then when I lost a bunch of weight, people started making fun of me for THAT.

It's pointless to please people. Please yourself.

 

I agree that people should be happy with their bodies and appreciate their own beauty. But HEALTH is another thing - some people would look at me and think that I was insanely dieting and obsessing over my appearance, when in reality I'm trying to make myself HEALTHY through good choices in diet and exercise. Similarly to what A&O was saying about "set points", my own healthy weight is higher than many other women of my height. I look good and 170 and at 150 would be my own version of a waif. This is fine for me, but the hard part is getting there. I eat next to nothing and exercise A LOT but pounds go very slowly for me.

I've noticed that this whole self affirming "love yourself" attitude is quite contagious, and a bigtime trend right now. But that can be an issue as well for those of us trying to be healthy. Whenever it becomes clear to anyone that I'm trying to lose weight, I get shit for not "loving myself". People even accuse me of having an eating disorder! wtf? isn't the first criteria for EDs that you be BELOW the recommended weight for your height? Who ever heard of an anorexic girl who weighed 220?

Sorry if I got off topic in my rant there, but this is a topic that's really getting to me. I'm all for loving yourself, but a person should have the right to try to better themselves without being given shit by the whole world!

(In case you couldn't tell, I'm a little hormonal right now! :/ )

 

I take shit for being skinny, but I'm really not all that skinny...I eat a ton too. I'm just kinda hyperactive.
Some of my favorite people are bigger folks. Including my mother. I grew up being told I'd be built like her, like it was pre-destined. Turns out that's total BS. But, my wish for mom is that she learn to love her big frame because she's such an incredibly loveable person. She's so much fun to be around!
The whole issue is very frustrating!
Then, while staying with my aunt this week...She's a bigger woman. I ran into this attitude that skinny people don't eat, by the time lunch rolled around, & I had missed my usual gigantic breakfast... I realized that if I didn't ask for food they were gonna let me go until six o'clock without any food.(I was so friggin' starving at that point!)
It never occured to them that I pretty much munch out all day long.
*shrug*
What're we supposed to do? I've resolved to not make any assumptions, & simply try to be supportive no matter the persons size.

 

If you aren't in the habit of eating a big breakfast, it can be hard to choke it down in the morning (especially if you're getting up really early).

Assuming you're doing manual labour, you're better off eating no breakfast than a small one. A small one leaves you starving an hour and a half before lunch, while with none you feel fine.

 

Yeah, my bf works his ass off all day and doesn't eat breakfast - even more than that he refuses to eat all day at work (says it makes him sleepy). He usually just eats a big meal when he gets home and munches a bit in the evening. I picked up this habit, or rather kinda formed it with him, and now I'm trying to train myself to eat a small breakfast. Your metabolism slows down while you sleep, so I figure something small and sensible in the morning will speed things up...

 

women should have a vagina....lack of curves has nothing to do with it....but as to my attraction...skeletons...and pancake stacks arent my cup of tea....but who is to say they arent how a "woman" should be?

 

Eh... you get so much excercise doing manual labour it doesn't really matter how you eat as long as you get the calories.

I spent 6 weeks working in the bush falling trees this summer (I'm out with an injury right now) in 12 hour shifts. I'd eat 4500 calories a day and I still dropped 12 pounds down to 178. I haven't weighed that little since I was 17.

 

I agree with the comments made in the opening post. Being skinny is not easy either. Sometimes I find people looking at me with pity as if i starve myself. And the comments they make are evn worse. I eat reasonably healthy, but at family gatherings when it comes to eating and I'm about to dish, all eyes are on me. Just because I don't overload myself with food,I'm considered to have an eating disorder. Shame they say, 'Is that enough food?U better start eating honey you're very thin'. Some girls love these comments,but i don't find it flattering, its more of an insult.
Even in the media. when celebrities are overweight they are mocked.But when they lose the pounds they're accused of having eating disorders(some do have eating disorders,i know,but I'm referring to those who ARENT),but in general the are teased.

You cant win in this society, in the end its about embracing everyone for who they are,people should stop preoccupying themselves with others,this world would be such a better place.

 

It's so true; no one can win. It's like people have to elect someone to be "in charge" of beauty and then everyone goes to them to see how they should look. That's what the media does, but it changes it's mind more often than I change my underwear. I picked up a couple of those gossip magazines like star and life style or something to read while I was on the plane flying to BC. One of them was critisizing these celebs for being too fat, while the other was critisizing them for being too thin. It's all bumb.
Just ignore it. That's it. Ignore it. Love yourself for who you are. TOO many women think that a man is looking for this and that....what a real man wants is a woman with confidence and is happy with who she is. You'll encounter some men who objectify women and say, "I just want a model, etc" but why the hell would you want a piece of crap like that anyway? The men who want confident women seem like they'd be few and far between, but there's more around that we think there are. I found that I and my friends all had more luck with men once we gave up on pleasing them and not feeling good about our bodies because it wasn't up to their standards, and we just started to enjoy our lives and feel better about ourselves, we ALL found good men, LOL! They love us who we are, not what we look like.
Granted, if you have "pancakes" for chins or your ribs are sticking out, yes, you should get some help...not because of appearance, but for health reasons.
Like I said, as cliche as it is, just ignore it and love yourself for who you are!

 

Oh don't get me wrong, I understand that all too well. I haven't eaten breakfast since I was like 8, and just yesterday I tried eating something in the morning and I felt sick to my stomach for hours.

*shrugs* I just think he needs to get more with all the work he does. At least pack a more hearty lunch if anything.

 

I agree...some women just aren't born with those curves.

My mom is by no means a thin woman [she's not FAT either] but she doesn't have many curves, because she's just built that way. She has tiny almost non-existent hips and no butt.

I take after her on the no butt thing, I'm flat as a board in my trunk lol.

No matter how much I chow down I will never have a butt.

I do think though that women should do what they can to stay HEALTHY and embrace their bodies at their healthiest.

That means, if a woman is fat because she doesn't do anything but sit on the couch, and eats gallons of ice cream, I don't think that's right either because that is equally as dangerous for your health as not eating enough is. I think all women should strive to eat right and get their health up to par, rather than actually worrying about size. If you're bigger than some girls naturally while eating healthy, great, embrace it!! And if you're thinner, don't feel bad about that either.

The belief that all people are the size they are because they either are lazy and eat too much or are exercise freaks or don't eat enough is the same reasons that eating disorders develop in society. When people start to link their shape to their "willpower" it tends to create a mess.

Back in the old days if you were bigger, it was a sign of wealth. Now times have changed. It's dangerous to link the two together because it can really make a person feel bad about themselves.

Through my therapy, I'm getting in the habit of listening to my body. I eat when I'm hungry, and I eat what my body tells me I should eat. I eat only until I'm full [whether or not my mouth is still having a party] and I exercise when I need to boost energy, and I stop when I get tired.

Your body craves things when you need them. For example, the first time I went vegan when I was way younger, I didn't know enough information, and tried just living off of veggies for the most part. My body was deprived of protein and other important vitamins, and I started craving meat again. My ED counselor at the time, told me I should eat something loaded in protein or drink soymilk and see if that curbs the craving. It did. Because that was what my body needed.

I am a firm believer in listening to your body.

 

I was a very thin young woman, teenager. I got way more negative comments about my size when I was thin, from both men and women. From teachers and school nurses, from doctors and grandparents, and mostly from other kids. I spent my first twenty six years of life trying to gain weight, so much so that I would eat enough food for four regular people, and not gain a thing. But I didn't have any self-image issues like lots of other girls do. I knew I looked good, no doubt about it. But when I gained 40 pounds from taking birth control pills, all of a sudden everyone was telling me how great I looked. Looking back, I figure I was healthiest at that weight, too. But at the time, it was really weird. Now I'm a little on the overweight size, for my teeny-tiny frame anyway, and I honestly never ever hear anyone say anything about my weight.

 

You know, it's odd too, that people feel more comfortable critizing someone for being thin than for being big. Somehow I think people think that someone would be less offended hearing that they are too thin, than if they were fat... if you call someone "fat" it's "mean" if you call someone "skinny" ...somehow it's common belief that it's not mean.

Both can be equally upsetting, though, and I don't know if people realize that.

 

I want to say that, no matter how much we are supposed to love ourselves, those comments can really damage your self esteem, no matter how good your self esteem is.

I was in ballet from the age of 3 until I was 9. At about age 10, I started putting on quite a bit of weight because I wasn't exercising as much anymore. I got into middle school [starts 5th grade here] and it completely destroyed my confidence. I was fine with how I looked for the most part, and I didn't concentrate on my looks previously.

But every single day was filled with torment. I was called "fat cow" many times, kids told me to go see Jenny Craig, and even my relatives had commented on my weight gain. At a family gathering I was carrying around a stuffed toy Shamu, and my cousin compared me to Shamu. I was in tears. Another time, at Christmas, I asked my grandpa if there was an regular cola because I didn't like Diet soda at the time... and he poked my tummy and said "It looks like you need the diet"

It was a terrible time for me, no matter how ridiculous it sounds that comments from others could bother me to such an extent. It made me feel out of place in the world, unaccepted, and disliked. And no matter how much that shouldn't matter, NO ONE wants to feel disliked, or not included.

A year later I developed my eating disorder. In the beginning everyone praised me for my weight loss and told me I looked great. But when I started losing more, I heard more shit again.

The "popular" girls at school were giggling in the library next to me one day saying "My name is Bekka and I want to be 7 pounds *giggle, giggle*" I pretty much ran into the bathroom and cried.

People told me I looked like an ethiopian, while some, very few others told me I looked "hot" which only made it worse, because I knew I was sick.

But now, for the most part, I've learned to deal with these comments, because I learned that people will ALWAYS say something no matter how you look or what you do, because someone is always going to want to put you down to make themselves feel better.

When people say things like that, it's because THEY are insecure...and I've come to realize it. But that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt.