stupid stoner moments

Oh man, that reminds me of an event that took place when these two kids were hammered, but it was a little more dangerous... The kid was like: Dude, watch, this'll be cool" and he grabbed the steerring wheel and just pulled it to one side. To say the least, the car wasn't driveable afterwards; they were fine though.

 

Sorry to resurrect an old thread, but I really didn't feel like making a new one. Besides I had a real bad stoner moment that I wanted to add.


The other day I was driving home from a town that's about 35 minutes away from where I live. Anyway, I had just left the town and had gotten on the interstate, and decided to spark up a bowl for the ride home. About halfway through the bowl just as I was starting to get high, I got a flat tire. So I pulled off to the shoulder, and got out of the car. I went to the passanger side of my truck, and took out the jack and the rest of the tools and set them on the ground. As I was looking in the manual to find out where to put the jack, I remembered that I needed to be on level ground, and I was parked on a hill at the time. So I got back in my car, and rolled about 900 yards to the bottom of the hill. I got back out, and realized that I fucking left the jack and all the shit back on the ground where I first stopped. I was so fucking pissed, I had to walk all the way back and carry that shit all the way back down. I would've just threw it in reverse, but I had already ridden on the rim too far, and I wasn't about to ride it in reverse uphill. Anyway, that's my "stoner moment" story.

 

These stories are soo awsome! I can't wait to create some of my own!

 

The most stupid thing that happend to me.... on night we were partyin at my apartment. between everyone we had over 2 oz and a pan of hash brownies and undisclosed amout of mushrooms and a bottle of absenth. so u can imagin by the end of the night.... i eneded up putting a glass through my hand and having to go to the hospital for stitchs...leaving my friend james to swimm across the main hiway cuz he couldnt find his legs

 

hey no worries with bringing up old threads. i think i'd be better if everyone did that instead of making a bunch of new threads with the same topic.

but anyways... your story rings so true. i can imagine how pist you were LOL and and all the crap happens right as your about to get faded, must have been a total blowout.

 

i used to stir up the bowl with my fingers when i was smoking, and when i was baked i'd rub my eyes and scratch my face with my ash-coated fingers and walk around with big black smudges under my eyes and on my cheeks. or i'd doodle all over my hands with pen and marker, and then i'd prop up my head on my fist and rub all the ink onto my face. many a time i've gone home or to school or to the store with these horrible black smudges on my face, and sometimes they look exactly like bruises. i always wondered why people were staring at me with shock and pity in their eyes.


i also used to sleep heavily and have very vivid dreams if i was stoned when i fell asleep, and i'd talk in my sleep and say things that made no sense. once i came home from a particularly lively evening and fell asleep sitting in front of my tv before i'd even managed to turn it on. that day i'd also been cooking with jalepenos, and the juice was burning my arms and hands. my parents came home and found me passed out in front of the tv like that and they knew what was going on. being the paranoid, overbearing, protective people they are, they decided it would be best to wake me up and interrogate me as i regained consciousness. i was drunk, stoned, and half-asleep, and my mouth said something about my arms burning. they asked me why my arms were burning, and at this point my groggy mind mixed up reality and dream, so instead of telling them about the jalepeno juice burning me, i told them i had been attacked by pencil crayons. after that they just yelled at me for half an hour while i sat there, unable to understand them, and enjoyed what was left of my buzz. then they left and i watched cheech and chong.

 

hahaha...That's happened to me like a thousand times...on every high....it drives me nuts....always happens to me and the funny thing is that sometimes I don't even realize that it's backwards for a while..then when I to light up one the right way..now that's another episode...it's halarious...

there was this one time I was smoking with three other friends of mine inside her car..and someone called me..we spent like three hours looking for the cell phone until I finally realized that it was in my hand the whole time...

and this other time something similar to that happened to me too..I was at this rave and I was desperately looking for my glasses when I finally realized that I had them on...

I'm telling you...weed makes you crazy....

I've committed more stupidities..but if I continue I'll never get off...

 

i was at this guys garage and we were all stoned off our ass
then my phone rang and it was my friend andy and all my friends were talking to him really stoned and he knew we were stoned and then i got all paranoid and thought they were talking to my dad and started freaking out
and then the guy that was talking to andy was like "is this her daddy?" but he said it in a dirty way..that freaked me out...andy laughed at me. you hadda be there

 

Well, one stupid stoner moment was fatal. Two kids (one I sort of knew) were driving down a street with hills and lined with trees (I also used to smoke on this road all the time). The driver decided it would be fun to go 120 mph down this winding, tree lined road. He went up a hill, was airborn, and the car veered left when they landed, crashing into a tree. Both died.

I have a few small, not so depressing stories. Well I like to smoke in the shower in the morning. I didn't get all of the seeds out of the weed I packed, and one exploded, throwing flaming weed on my arm. That fucking hurt. Another time I was driving with a burning joint in my hand, and forgot to look right before making a turn. I almost hit this chick that was driving by, she gave me a funny look, and I realized that I had been holding the joint up in plain view. Oops.

 

well heh the first time i got stoned i started talking to my friends rooster (he lives in the ghetto, if that explains anything) and throwing all its food back at it because i wanted to watch it eat. then the friend opens up the cage and the bird starts chasing me around with its wings flapping. i got really scared after running around the yard a few times (it stopped following me a few seconds after it got out) so on my third time or so around the yard i ran towards the bird and kicked it as hard as i could and it slammed into the side of its cage. my friend got mad at me because he wasnt high but it was all cool because i made like 6 or 7 other people laugh. the bird turned out to be ok and the friend wasnt mad and it is a moment we share with laughter now. anyway i had to go to the bathroom afterwards because i accidentally drank the bong water (along with 3 other cups of water) so i went into his bathroom and i couldnt get it out of my wang so he told me to go in some guys yard. i also met this chick who i kept introducing myself to and she just kept laughing so i kept doing it. the friend finally told me to walk away and i did but i kept looking back and laughing at her for no reason in the stupidest most embarrassing way possible. then my high wore off, the end.

 

This isn't funny it was just cool. Me and a friend go to smoke up and go see a movie. As soon as we leave the neighborhood and turn down another road we see a building being torn down. So we pull in the parking lot across the street to smoke and watch the building be demolished. Good times.

Wait until you are high and then think about this:

The snake in Snake is doomed to die from the beginning(this is a 2 bit game on some cell phones).

Jesus was the leader of a cult. The only difference between him and the guys that make people drink poisoned koolaid is that he doesn't kill all of his believers at the same time he dies. If Marshall Applewhite hadn't killed his believers when he went to be on the spaceship behind the comet, there might have been a new religion today based on it. Then these people would tell it to their kids who would tell it to their kids and so on. (I hope this doesn't offend anyone. The passions of the christ movie made me think of it.)

 

Oh man, I have too many. A friend and I got really baked and we were so high, his parents come home and want to eat dinner. Im sitting there buttering a bun, and my friends like "What are you doing, youve been buttering that bun for 15 minutes!" and starts bursting out laughing I couldnt help it and followed in the laughing.

This one time I couldnt even light the lighter I was so baked but wanted to smoke more, So I told my friend to hold onto the bong for me, it was a huge 3 liter soda bottle, and hes holding it as the other kid is lighting it, i look up and the room seems so huge and so high cuz im on my knees. I was sitting on a doggy bed. I start laughing hystericly blow the bowl out and cant hold it in anymore.

This other time we were baked. My friend has this dog that if you move really fast starts attacking you and i ran outta the house, we all started walking out his dog starts attacking us all. We start screaming like little girls and his dog runs out of the house and we have to run around chasing it baked.

 

one time me and my friends skipped the afternoon @ school and came back to my place. we all got stoned and i was looking @ a peice of tissue paper thinking "i wonder what would happen if i light this on fire" so i grab the lighter and at first it really didnt do anything but then all of the sudden it blew up in flames and we all started freaking out. so i dropped it and ran to the kitchen for water. my friend was trying to put it out with her foot and her sock caught on fire. so then i come back from the kitchen w like a pitcher of water and i dump it all over the floor.

 

another time me and my best bud were @ the movies seeing spiderman 2. we got stoned b4 we went and saw it.
the 1st part was we went and stood on the 2nd level of the mall nad we were throwing pennies downstairs into the fountain. we then decided to start throwing them @ ppl. so my best bud takes a penny and throws it really far adn it hits these 2 ppl nad they look up and are like wtf was that.
the 2nd part was we were sitting in the theatre durin the previews. it gets to the part right b4 the movie when the theatre goes pitch black. my best then yelled really loud "im ready" it was so funny.

 

so for no reason at all i just remembered something that happened last year, a rare occurence.

i remember i woke up, it was a sunday. grabbed mr. jbd (bong) got ripped and went downstairs for some grub. outside in my backyard is a gang load of little kids, i guessed my brothers and sisters friends. so i go back there to play and jumping on the trampoline all happy and crap except i got some mad air and TRIED to do a flip~~, but ate mad concrete, actually it was the edge of the floor and right where pool begins. bloods just gushing outtta my head and i was i remember thinking oh fuk... i guess i ain't goin surfing later

so needless to say i broke my head had to get stiches. so i asked the doc for something to ease the pain and he was like nah.

so moral of the story, dont smoke and jump

 

One time me and a friend went and smoked two gigantic joints at lunch hour. After getting a massive case of the munchies we go to Wendies on the way back to school and I catch a glimpse of someone that looked like my history teacher. Then I just said, really loudly, 'Dude, that woman looks like our fucking history teacher! Either Im so stoned Im seeing shit, or were in trouble...' Then I look at my friend and just see a look of utter fear. I turn around and theres two tables full of teachers from our school that came for lunch right behind us, staring at us. For some amazing reason(maybe because it was like 3 days from graduation) we didnt even get in trouble for it.

 

heh they probably don't give a damn. i would go even further and say they were probably jealous that you guys gotz ganja and get to go around smoking and eating such n such while they have to work as your teacher.

 

I got a couple, this first one isnt funny, just cool. It was almost 4 years ago- my sophmore year in high school and all the biology classes had to go on this trip down to sum pond for water samples and dumb shit. On the way back this one kid sparks a fat joint and 4 or 5 of us were smokin it with our teacher walking like 10 feet in front of it and didnt notice, it was kick ass.
Then this one time me and all my friends at a huge party and there are like 7 of us who are wicked stoned sitting at this picnic table in the yard and this shitty kid come over (you know the type, drinks 2 beers and takes 2 hits and starts saying " o man I'm wicked drunk! I'm so high!") and is tryin to be cool and goes "look what I can do!" he covers his hand in bug spray and lights his frickin hand on fire and cant get is out! He starts freakin and jumps into the girls kiddie pool. We're all laughin pretty hard but one of our friends was in hysterics and he goes "Dude I totally just pissed in that pool!" ha ha that kid sucks
The last one took place last 4th of July at this girls house.We were all pretty trashed and had smoked a few blunts, then my best friend starts running around the back yard dragging these sparklers and lights the lawn on starts freakin out and apologizing and in the process lit her hair on fire. Her hair was ok but the girls lawn still has a burnt patch.

 

one time me and my friends all got stone d@ my house one nite. mu friend was really stoned nad we were watching ythr sunday nite sex show and someone callled her name was joanne. and so my friend was like "who the fuck names their kid yo-anneee. and we were like waht the fiuck her name is joanne.

 

one time m,e and a couple of buds got stoned. we were sitting there and my freidn told my other friend that she was grwoing hair out og her face. and she actually belived and she started freaking out thinking she had alot of hair growing out og her face