vasectomy..whatdya think

Well i am just looking for opinions on something;

my fiance and i have been disussing it and niether of us wants to even consider kids for a long long time...and i have switched birth control 4 times in a year or so...one of which caused chronic uti's another may have been causin some depression...ANYWAYS...we are talking about him getting a vasectomy...how do you guys feel about em?

do you think its wise since we are so young ? (hes 19 im 20)? I mean he says he never wants kids realisticaly...

just want some feelings from you guys about the procedure and the situation

 

Go for it...just freeze a bit of semen first (just in case) and you're good to go!

 

have fun finding a doctor. i had a buddy who had it done who was 25 and it was a huge hassle.

it might be different in the states though.

 

get it done if you can. you can always adopt.

but yea, totally your choice.

 

Ultimatley, it's your choice, but yeah, since your young and your whole focous might change in a few years, I'd peronally suggest waiting. They can be reversed, but it's not 100% garunteed (sp?).
If you do decide to go for it, for once I'm going to agree with spooner here, it's going to be hard to find a doc.

 

I think 19 and 20 years are a bit young to decide something like that. My wish to have kids did not kick in until I was 21, but has grown tremendously since. I would advise you guys to wait some more years. Even though adoption is an option, for a lot of people it's just not the same as giving birth to an own child. Consider that you guys still are young, and that live often changes.

 

^^ my desire to have children didn't kick in until I was 30... LOL


There are side effects and risks he should know about ahead of time. Make sure he is fully informed about all aspects of such procedure before even seeking out a doctor to do it for him. Make sure he knows just what a vas reversal entails, and the odds of it not working. If he does get the vas, don't have unprotected sex until after he has *two* sperm counts done, and they are both zero. At your age, honestly? I'd suggest you buy a box of condoms instead. They do make them without lubricant or spermicide, if you are sensitive to those chemicals. And they do sell them by the case, too.

 

lol well i thank you all...its a tough decision...but i think it is the smartest thing now...we really are not in places to consider kids...and it will be easier and safer than me being on birth control for a long long time...have any of your husbands or boyfriends had this?

 

Vasectomies are designed to be permenant. While reversal is possible, it is very expensive and not certain to succeed.
It sounds like it is not appropriate for what you want.

Your 19yr old husband may not want children ever, but there are many "certainties" about which he will change his mind.

 

Why not take the itty bitty amount of time and effort needed, and start natural family planning? Take a class on it, or read the book "taking charge of your fertility", buy a basal body thermometer, and chart your fertility. Not only is it really cheap in the long run, but it helps you to understand your body better so you can recognise abnormality easier.

And your boy doesn't have to be violated in such a cruel way...

seriously, NFP doesnt take anymore effort than popping a pill every morning...and a ton healthier.

 

Because the 3% failure rate *per annum* can catch up with you pretty quick in a long term relationship?

 

Personally, I think you should wait...I know a guy (on this site, in fact) who said he never ever wanted to have kids. He's 32 now...and he says he would like to have one or two.

The instincts to have kids don't kick in for awhile...vasectomies are designed to be forever. And forever is a long time...it's not just some surgery that can be reversed with a click of a button...it's extremely involved.

What's wrong with condoms? What happens if he DOES want kids later? These surgeries are expensive! Maybe you should consider other birth control options...ones that don't involve hormones...go to your local Planned Parenthood with your bf and talk it over with them...they can give you some pretty good insights.

I wouldn't want my bf to have a vasectomy if he said he never wanted to have kids...I mean...people change...especially when they are still growing in maturity levels.

 

i agree w/ yall...but there are other options in the future if we change our minds...and i have tired 4 different birth controls in a year..and the reason we dont use condoms is because we have a very bad track record withthem...i mean i talked to him and siad if he is really really serious about not wanting kids then this is something we should look into becuase I have spent so much money on bc and doctors appt.s and pregnancy tests before that...and like I said i really dont like the idea of being on birth control for a long time...my mom was from 18 to 30 and now she is 51 and is having more hell with her period than anyone ive seen...i mean honestly i really would love to be a mother oneday, but i cant say how i will feel years form now...but if he is sure, well...thats kinda why i made this cause i dont really know how to feel about it lol

 

Isnt it way less invasive and less risky for the man to get that kind of surgery? Anyways, I think you guys should wait personally... sucha young age to be making forever-based decisions.

 

Seriously, hon....It never hurts to know your own body, so even if you don't stick with Natural Family Planning as long term contraception. But if you try it and like it, you will prevent yourself and your boyfriend from suffering a lifetime of inconvenience with the BC/Vas options, plus you'll know your normals a lot more....It's totally worth looking into, as the most you incur as far as expense is buying a Basal Body Thermometer.

 

NFP (rhythm method) is not the same as FAM, fertility awareness method, which is discussed in Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Do that, and use condoms. Bad track record? Maybe he needs someone to show him how to put one on properly.

 

^^ True. Condoms don't break if used properly. In five years we've never had one break. My only bitch about them now is the afterward-mood-killer (No good long moment of togetherness bliss with a condom on!)

 

I think this belongs in 'Birth Control' or 'Men’s Issues'.

Anyway.

I don't think he should get a vasectomy, and you shouldn't get your tubes tied (mostly because you are both young, and it may not be reversible). Why don't you get an IUD? They last for a few years.

 

yeah, an IUD could be a great option for you. They're actually MORE effective than getting your tubes tired (told to me by my OB/GYN)