I'v made a lot of progress with this problem over the past few months. Doing kegels and trying to avoid thinking about the feeling in my penis during sex is what has made the most noticable results. It was pretty much cured for a few months but now just recently my girlfriend started taking birth control and we decided that we could have sex without a condom sometimes (it feels better for both of us). It feels so much more amazing with her now and i'm struggling with keeping my head straight and controlling when i orgasm. Last time i lasted under 20 seconds. It's usually okay until i notice myself actively thinking about either how good it feels or worrying about finishing too soon. I don't know what to do when i feel myself moving up the scale of arousal. I sometimes stop or tell her to hold on for a second but this really interrupts mood and it isn't good for either of us. I have been with her for a good amount of time and i really love this girl so we have talked about it and she understands my problem. Still it's embarrassing when it happens and it leaves her and myself both unsatisfied. I want to keep going but i don't have much say in the matter. Does anyone have any ideas? Thanks
Deliberatly ingoring your pleasure sounds like an extreeme measure. Does your ejaculation put you to sleep. Or could you keep pleasuring her after your orgasm. How is your rebound time. I'm suggesting that instead of trying to control your speed of ejaculation, you might just accept it as "thats the way I am" and try different patterns of lovemaking where your ejaculation happens in the middle of a session rather than at the end.
the start/stop technique is what i meant by thats fine during masterbation but it completely interrupts the sex. What i like to do sometimes is fill in those seconds with kissing or going down on her which makes it a bit less awkward. About this, i don't ignore the pleasure rather shift my conscious focus to something like touching her or how she is moving or the sounds she is making. The pleasure feels just as good but it helps me to stop from going over the edge when i can do it. I'm not shifting my thoughts to sports and cars if thats what you thought I like this idea. She does seem to enjoy the foreplay more than the intercourse at least most of the time. Usually when we're kissing or something just laying down it slowly turns into foreplay and then sometimes eventually intercourse. I guess i can try to take some of the foreplay to the afterward. I do get really tired after i come but i know at least sometimes i'll be able to keep myself awake.
