There was this philosophy professor of mine who kind of began turning crazy. The man was pushing 50 and sporting an animal pelt for a mustache which was so unkept that he frequently paused during lecturing to pick pubic like hairs out of his teeth. The entire set up reminded me of a bad 70's porn flick, and all the slutty college girls weren't helping matters either. Anyway, the guy must really been in bad shape, like the early stages of alzheimers or something, because he keept repeating the same shit over and over every class, never giving any signs whatsoever that he recalled having said the exact same thing to us the day before. His favorite topic to reiterate on was the modern world and what a piece of crap it is, and how we are all living in a fantasy land of stupidity and denial, blah blah blah. He started discussing economics, and for still unknown reasons, launched into a passionate argument against credit cards. Without warning it begun: "Credit cards are a perversity of logic, class. They DEFY LOGIC as we know it. THEY BREAK ALL THE RULES SET FORTH BY ECONOMICS!" Brief pause to remove unkept stray hair from mouth. He continued, raising his voice, and making sure to emphasize every other word for our benefit. "Going by what these credit card companies tell us, we can now get something for nothing.... SOMETHING for NOTHING!" At this point he began to work himself into a fine frenzy, making eye contact with all the poor fucks sitting in the front row, and pumping his arms up and down, much like Hitler on speed, mustache and all. "NOW... guess what that is called class?!?" Complete silence. "THAT'S CALLED MAGIC FOLKS!!!!!" What a performance. Every fucking class the same thing. I mean the first time it was kind of amusing, the next class he even got a few scattered laughs, but now it's just got dead quiet, except for this kid in the back making with the pity laughs to supplement his failing grade. And now everything was fucking magic with this hairy asshole (no pun intended). Television? "MAGIC!" The Government? "MAGIC!!" Sexual intercourse? "MAGIC!!!" Over and over and over... Finally when I thought I couldn't take it anymore. When the guy went into his usual speech, making an ass of himself, before he can get to the end and answer his own question, I yelled out from my seat "That's called magic!" Now he looked at me genuinely shocked, like I'm some sort of psychic, and asked increduously "How did you know that?" "Fucking Magic sir. Fucking Magic."
Wow. I had a biology professor who seemed to think the abbreviation NRG, for "energy," was his own invention. He sure seemed damn proud of it. What university did you go to?
What would we do without crazy individuals like that to entertain us and give us something to write about? This is a really funny story.
That professor reminds me of my college professor. "You are late!? That's the work of evil spirits!!!" lol
