The Most Disgusting Survey Ever!!!!

OK this survey is all about poop & it's DISGUSTING!! someone actually emailed me this and expected me to answer it back!!! no chance (its far too embarassing!!!)

i'm dying to read some other peoples answers though, so if anyone wants to post their answers, just PM them to me and i'll post them anonymously..... or is anyone actually brave enough to post their answers under their own name??? (the boys maybe?)

i will give my answers too but im not going first or everyone will know its me!!!!


THE GREAT BIG POOPING SURVEY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SECTION 1 - WHERE AND WHEN
1) How often do you normally poop?
2) Are there times of the day when a poop is more likely?
3) Do you ever poop in public toilets or only at home?
4) If you're using a public toilet, do you go quiet when someone else comes in?
5) Do you hate people knowing when you're going for a poop?

SECTION 2 - SITTING THERE
6) What do you normally do with your hands while you poop?
7) Do you ever read while you poop?
8) Any strange rituals you do when you poop?
9) How much splashing do you normally get?
10) What parts normally get splashed the most?
11) Do you normally pee before/during/after the poop?

SECTION 3 - TURDS
12) Do you tend to look at what you've done in the bowl?
13) Does a lot normally come out, or not much?
14) Do you tend to do one long turd, or smaller ones?
15) How dry or runny is it normally?
16) How would you describe the usual colour of the turds?
17) Are the turds normally fat or thin?
18) Are they ever nutty/corny?

SECTION 4 - COMPLICATIONS
19) How easy/hard does it normally come out?
20) Do you ever get constipated?
21) Do you ever have to 'fish it out' with fingers?
22) Girls: do you ever use fingers in the other hole to push it out?
23) Do you ever get diarhorea?
24) Have you ever pooped your pants?
25) Do you ever come so close that the poop is sticking out by the time you get to the bathroom?

SECTION 5 - CLEANUP
26) How much toilet paper do you use?
27) Do you wipe forwards or backwards?
28) Which hand do you wipe with (and are you right or lefthanded)?
29) Do you wipe with your hand behind your back, or reaching the front way?
30) Is the toilet paper usually dirty or clean?
31) How clean do you like to get your ass before you finish?
32) Do you ever use a bidet?

SECTION 6 - SMELLS
33) Do you fart much in a typical day?
34) How noisy are your farts?
35) How bad do your farts smell?
36) Do you try to hide your farts around other people?
37) Do you fart much when you go for a poop?
38) How bad does your poop normally smell?
39) Do you normally spray/open a window where possible?

SECTION 7 - VOCABULARY
40) What words/phrases do you use for...
41) Going for a poop
42) Going for a pee
43) Desperate to go
44) Your butthole
45) Your turds
46) The toilet

SECTION 8 - FINALLY...
47) Your age?
48) Your sex?
49) Any funny/embarassing stories involving your pooping?
50) Finally, describe how you feel when you poop? Do you enjoy the experience? Hate it? (Write as much as you like.)

 

SECTION 1 - WHERE AND WHEN
1) How often do you normally poop?
About Once a Day...

2) Are there times of the day when a poop is more likely?
An Hour or So After I Have Woken...

3) Do you ever poop in public toilets or only at home?
Home...Always...

4) If you're using a public toilet, do you go quiet when someone else comes in?
Not Really...

5) Do you hate people knowing when you're going for a poop?
No...I Tell Anyone and Everyone Who Cares to know...


SECTION 2 - SITTING THERE
6) What do you normally do with your hands while you poop?
Hmm...Interesting...I Don't Know...They Just Rest...

7) Do you ever read while you poop?
They Come Out too Fast to Have Time to read Anything Worthwhile...

8) Any strange rituals you do when you poop?
Not That I'm Aware of...

9) How much splashing do you normally get?
Depends on Size of Poop...

10) What parts normally get splashed the most?
Bum Cheek...Although Don't Often Get Splashed...

11) Do you normally pee before/during/after the poop?
Either...Sometimes I Have a Poop so Fast...After I'm Finished and Out the Bathroom...I Realize I've Forgot to Pee...So I Guess Afterwards...Never During...


SECTION 3 - TURDS
12) Do you tend to look at what you've done in the bowl?
Of Course...Make Sure It Looks Alright...Healthy Stools...

13) Does a lot normally come out, or not much?
Eh? I Wouldn't Know Who to Compare to...

14) Do you tend to do one long turd, or smaller ones?
Small...

15) How dry or runny is it normally?
Just Fine...Not Dry or Runny...Slips Out All Nice...No Stain on the Paper When I Wipe Afterwards...

16) How would you describe the usual colour of the turds?
Brown...

17) Are the turds normally fat or thin?
Fat...Hurts Sometimes If Squeeze Them out too Fast...

18) Are they ever nutty/corny?
Sometimes Corny...Not Nutty...


SECTION 4 - COMPLICATIONS
19) How easy/hard does it normally come out?
Super...Slip Out Just Fine...

20) Do you ever get constipated?
RARELY...

21) Do you ever have to 'fish it out' with fingers?
Never in my Life...

22) Girls: do you ever use fingers in the other hole to push it out?
NEVER IN MY LIFE...

23) Do you ever get diarhorea?
When I am Ill...

24) Have you ever pooped your pants?
Nope...

25) Do you ever come so close that the poop is sticking out by the time you get to the bathroom?
No...


SECTION 5 - CLEANUP
26) How much toilet paper do you use?
Umm...By One Square Sheet...Well...Not too Much...Minimun...Not Really Much to Wipe Afterwards...

27) Do you wipe forwards or backwards?
Forewards...I Know I Shouldn't Due to Spread of Poop Germs...but it's a Habit...

28) Which hand do you wipe with (and are you right or lefthanded)?
I am a Leftie...But Strangely I use my Right Hand...

29) Do you wipe with your hand behind your back, or reaching the front way?
Front Way...

30) Is the toilet paper usually dirty or clean?
Clean...With Some Mucus...

31) How clean do you like to get your ass before you finish?
If the Paper is Clean...then I'm Done...

32) Do you ever use a bidet?
A What? I Guess Not...What is a Bidet???


SECTION 6 - SMELLS
33) Do you fart much in a typical day?
Not Sure...I Do Fart...But Not Overly...

34) How noisy are your farts?
Very...

35) How bad do your farts smell?
They Only Smell if I'm Ill...

36) Do you try to hide your farts around other people?
Nope...

37) Do you fart much when you go for a poop?
No...

38) How bad does your poop normally smell?
Never Smells...Unless I am Ill...

39) Do you normally spray/open a window where possible?
No...

SECTION 7 - VOCABULARY
40) What words/phrases do you use for...
...

41) Going for a poop
*Repeat*

42) Going for a pee
Need to pee...

43) Desperate to go
Not Sure...

44) Your butthole
Bum...

45) Your turds
Poop...

46) The toilet
Toilet...

SECTION 8 - FINALLY...
47) Your age?
20...Getting Old...

48) Your sex?
Female...

49) Any funny/embarassing stories involving your pooping?
Not Really...

50) Finally, describe how you feel when you poop? Do you enjoy the experience? Hate it? (Write as much as you like.)
I Enjoy Pooping...It is a Nice Feeling When you Push Hard...And That Feeling...Bum Hole Opening...Then Out it Comes...Oh...Feels Good...Yeah...

 

wow people are answering!!!!!
thanks xmudpuddle, very honest!!!

 

Actualy this is Interesting of you to Post...

I Don't Find it Disgusting...it's a Natural Process...

And...People Should be Making Sure Their Stools are Alright so That They Know their Insides and Diet are Good...

So Good Poop Awareness...Well Done...

 

SECTION 1 - WHERE AND WHEN
1) How often do you normally poop?
Once a day

2) Are there times of the day when a poop is more likely?
When I would rather be somewhere else! Hm.. Around 3pm seems to be a favourite..

3) Do you ever poop in public toilets or only at home?
Not sure why I never use public toilets to poop.. I do pee there though

4) If you're using a public toilet, do you go quiet when someone else comes in?
It wouldn't pay to be quite in our public toilets, since the locks never work

5) Do you hate people knowing when you're going for a poop?
Like the whole of the fora for example?


SECTION 2 - SITTING THERE
6) What do you normally do with your hands while you poop?
I check my mobile phone

7) Do you ever read while you poop?
Yes.. Newspapers

8) Any strange rituals you do when you poop?
I always pull 3 pieces of toilet paper from the roll per wipe..

9) How much splashing do you normally get?
It's like Damb Busters in my toilet! That's to say.. Just the odd drop splashes to hit my bum

10) What parts normally get splashed the most?
My cheeks?

11) Do you normally pee before/during/after the poop?
No

SECTION 3 - TURDS
12) Do you tend to look at what you've done in the bowl?
I'm not afraid to look, but don't go out of my way to..

13) Does a lot normally come out, or not much?
Not much I guess...

14) Do you tend to do one long turd, or smaller ones?
A few small ones

15) How dry or runny is it normally?
They say your turds reveal your health very well.. And I guess I'm quite healthy... Dry until it hits the water!

16) How would you describe the usual colour of the turds?
About the colour of Teak

17) Are the turds normally fat or thin?
Hm.. The width of two fingers

18) Are they ever nutty/corny?
I flush before I ever get tempted to eat them!

SECTION 4 - COMPLICATIONS
19) How easy/hard does it normally come out?
Very easily thank you.. Rarely suffer constipation..

20) Do you ever get constipated?
Ah.. You read my mind..

21) Do you ever have to 'fish it out' with fingers?
Oh, that's another of my bizarre rituals! But it's more a cleaning ritual..

22) Girls: do you ever use fingers in the other hole to push it out?
:H

23) Do you ever get diarhorea?
Not often.. After the odd night out eating rich food..

24) Have you ever pooped your pants?
HAHAHA! I think I've used up my quota of smileys already.. I've been doing it alot lately while I've been at the computer...

25) Do you ever come so close that the poop is sticking out by the time you get to the bathroom?
I call it the Turtle's Head


SECTION 5 - CLEANUP
26) How much toilet paper do you use?
3 pieces every time

27) Do you wipe forwards or backwards?
*re-enacts* Hm.. Forwards..

28) Which hand do you wipe with (and are you right or lefthanded)?
I'm left-handed, and I use my left hand

29) Do you wipe with your hand behind your back, or reaching the front way?
I reach around to the back, but the last bit of cleaning is done from the front

30) Is the toilet paper usually dirty or clean?
Eh?

31) How clean do you like to get your ass before you finish?
Totally, but I bet it isn't...

32) Do you ever use a bidet?
No. And when I tried one, it didn't seem to do the job

SECTION 6 - SMELLS
33) Do you fart much in a typical day?
YES!!!!

34) How noisy are your farts?
They're quite loud.. And everybody knows it came from my direction

35) How bad do your farts smell?
By the end of the night, they do smell worse

36) Do you try to hide your farts around other people?
Yes.. I let them out slowly if I can..

37) Do you fart much when you go for a poop?
Never!

38) How bad does your poop normally smell?
After 3 meals, they can smell quite bad

39) Do you normally spray/open a window where possible?
Hm.. Yeah, got a spray thing attaches to the side of the toilet..

SECTION 7 - VOCABULARY
40) What words/phrases do you use for...

41) Going for a poop
Having a crap


42) Going for a pee
Going for a piss

43) Desperate to go
HOLY FUCK!!!!!

44) Your butthole
Arsehole

45) Your turds
Shit


46) The toilet
The bog

SECTION 8 - FINALLY...
47) Your age?
38

48) Your sex?
Male

49) Any funny/embarassing stories involving your pooping?
I don;t think I have any?

50) Finally, describe how you feel when you poop? Do you enjoy the experience? Hate it?
A little relief

 

Some ppl spit on the toilet paper first. I have a bottle of vinegar in the bathroom and squirt it on the paper. Makes your ass squeaky clean.

 

Geesh... too much freakin typing.

Call if ya really wanna know...

 

Yuk! Yuk! Yuk!

 

I'm not embarrased by it, however, I don't feel I need to tell the world all about my pooping habits.

Like ands said, call if you really want to know.

 

flush

 

See, that is where you and me differ. I don't like to flush. I love everyone that might come in after me to admire my poop.

 

i poop in a bag and throw it out

 

SECTION 1 - WHERE AND WHEN
1) How often do you normally poop?
Every day, right before I shower.
2) Are there times of the day when a poop is more likely?
Nope.
3) Do you ever poop in public toilets or only at home?
I only shit in public if it's an emergency. Shitting in a public toilet is much better than shitting in your pants just because you wanted to hold it in.
4) If you're using a public toilet, do you go quiet when someone else comes in?
When someone else comes in I try to be quiet. Even if I'm just pissing. It's nobody else business. However, if it is a friend that I like to joke around with, I will be as loud as I possibly can.
5) Do you hate people knowing when you're going for a poop?
Depends on who it is. It coincides with question #4.
SECTION 2 - SITTING THERE
6) What do you normally do with your hands while you poop?
If I have any weed I will pack a bowl. Depending on whether it is gonna be a quick shit or not, I may spark up the bowl.
7) Do you ever read while you poop?
I don't read when I'm not pooping.
8) Any strange rituals you do when you poop?
I spit on the walls.
9) How much splashing do you normally get?
Not much. I usually have long turds, which cuts down on the splashing.
10) What parts normally get splashed the most?
If I get some splash, my dick gets splashed and me ass gets splashed. It feels nice.
11) Do you normally pee before/during/after the poop?
During.

SECTION 3 - TURDS
12) Do you tend to look at what you've done in the bowl?
Sometimes. Depending on the size, density, color, and shape of the turds, I may even take a picture.
13) Does a lot normally come out, or not much?
It depends on what I have eaten and what kind of drugs I have been doing.
14) Do you tend to do one long turd, or smaller ones?
Refer to question #13.
15) How dry or runny is it normally?
It's usually more dry than runny, which is good. I hate a mess.
16) How would you describe the usual colour of the turds?
The regular brown.
17) Are the turds normally fat or thin?
Depends on what I have eaten and how well it has digested.
18) Are they ever nutty/corny?
No. Thankfully. That shit is nasty looking.

SECTION 4 - COMPLICATIONS
19) How easy/hard does it normally come out?
Usually farily easy. I enjoy my shits.
20) Do you ever get constipated?
Nope.
21) Do you ever have to 'fish it out' with fingers?
No. Why would anyone have to do that?
22) Girls: do you ever use fingers in the other hole to push it out?
N/A
23) Do you ever get diarhorea?
Of course. Explosive, on occasion.
24) Have you ever pooped your pants?
We were all babies once.
25) Do you ever come so close that the poop is sticking out by the time you get to the bathroom?
Yes. "Prairie-dogging", as we call it.

SECTION 5 - CLEANUP
26) How much toilet paper do you use?
Lots. I gotta be clean. Can't stand a shitty ass.
27) Do you wipe forwards or backwards?
Backwards. I don't wanna get any turd remnants on my coinpurse.
28) Which hand do you wipe with (and are you right or lefthanded)?
I wipe with my right hand and I am right handed, which makes sense.
29) Do you wipe with your hand behind your back, or reaching the front way?
Behind. It just seems safer. I don't know why.
30) Is the toilet paper usually dirty or clean?
It looks clean, meaning there is no brown stuff on it. But, being that you just wiped your ass with it after taking a shit, I doubt it can actually be considered 'clean'. ya know.
31) How clean do you like to get your ass before you finish?
As clean as fucking possible, which is why I usually take my shits before I get in the shower, so I can get it really clean. Can't stand a shitty ass.
32) Do you ever use a bidet?
What's that?

SECTION 6 - SMELLS
33) Do you fart much in a typical day?
I try to, but it doesn't always work out that way.
34) How noisy are your farts?
They range from silent to thunderous.
35) How bad do your farts smell?
Depends on what I eat and how long it has been since my last shit.
36) Do you try to hide your farts around other people?
It depends who I am around. If I'm with friends I fart in their face.
37) Do you fart much when you go for a poop?
Hardly at all.
38) How bad does your poop normally smell?
It doesn't usually smell too bad, as far as I can tell.
39) Do you normally spray/open a window where possible?
I don't have a window in my bathroom. I sometimes spray.

SECTION 7 - VOCABULARY
40) What words/phrases do you use for...
41) Going for a poop
Shit.
42) Going for a pee
I usually say "I gotta urintate". It sounds funny.
43) Desperate to go
I gotta shit/urinate NOW!!!
44) Your butthole
Poopshute
45) Your turds
Children
46) The toilet
Toilet

SECTION 8 - FINALLY...
47) Your age?
22
48) Your sex?
Male
49) Any funny/embarassing stories involving your pooping?
Let me see............No, but there is a funny one involving pissing. I was drunk as fuck, probably 1/2 gallon of liquor ranging from tequila to vodka to whiskey, 24-25 beers, and a bottle of wine. I had to take a piss, but I couldn't stand up, so my uncle carried me to the bathroom and held me up in front of the toilet. I was too drunk to pull my dick out of my pants, so I just pissed in my pants while my uncle was propping me up in front of the toilet.
50) Finally, describe how you feel when you poop? Do you enjoy the experience? Hate it? (Write as much as you like.)
If it comes out easy and doesn't take too much work, and also if it isn't wet(I hate wet shits), then I don't mind it. It usually feels nice.


That was fun.

 

Bidets are god-sent.

 

Yeah, it is what alot of people would call there private buisness and there is nothing wrong with that kind of view either.

 

LOL.

 

I thought it was kinda fun to complete the survey. It's questions you never really ask yourself. I was curious to find out my own answers. Plus, It's always fun to laugh at yourself, which I did when I read some of my answers. It's wierd what you realize about yourself when you are participating in a 'poop' survey.

 

Oh boy

 

Hope everything came out okay.

 

Because of my computer illeteracy, I have to post my asnwers in the quote, but just to let everybody know, the ansers that follow are not that of the TS, they are mine.

I only enjoy the experience when i've been taking uppers, or had a lot of Red bull.